BTT #71 - 6 Risks To Dating Single Moms EVERY Man Must Understand

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We're going to review 6 often overlooked risks men invite into their lives when they decide to date a single mother. First I'll open with why men tend to date single mothers, then talk about the 6 main risks, then close with when dating a single mother might make sense for a man.

In some tribes, after combat, if a father dies, they terminate the children since their chance of survival is low

The 6 risks are:
- Cuckoldry
When you take on the financial, parental and emotional burden of raising another mans children, you are by definition a cuckold, no exception. Society celebrates it today. You’ll often see articles titled “The case for being a cuck.” The truth is, it’s nothing to celebrate.

No last name, no genetic legacy to pass down. These two points have historically been the biggest selling points to men for fatherhood.

To add insult to injury, women overwhelmingly have primary parenting of children the vast majority of the time and men don’t. So if you are a divorced father, then you might actually end up spending more time parenting another man’s children, than your own.

- Responsibility w/o Authority
You have the same parental responsibilities as a biological father, but without any of the authority of a parent. You will have parental responsibility for birthdays, travel, holidays, ski trips, the beach and the list goes on.

You will be filling the shoes of “Daddy” and your financial resources will be warmly welcomed, but at some point during a grievance, you will also eventually hear them say something resembling “You are not my father.”

They will be “our” kids when she needs you, but “her” kids when you need to discipline them or enforce boundaries.

Strangely if you are a single father you will learn that, when your kids need something, your children are never “ours” but selectively yours, yet most men discover that women want authority over his kids, without responsibility.

- The victim mindset
They often brag on social media about how they are strong, independent, and “don’t need no man,” but turn to the government for handouts, and/or their children’s father(s) for financial support.

I dated a lot of single mothers that would complain about the father of their children and often heard her use disparaging terms like: loser, dumb, deadbeat, beta or boring. If I would ask them why they married him, or had kids with him, their face would turn to stone as if to say, “how dare you hold me accountable for my choices.”

There was no ownership for her choices.

I’ve never a met a single mother that wasn’t a self-proclaimed feminist. To identify as a feminist, you must have an oppressor, and every woman oppressed is a victim when it comes to feminist logic.

The victim mindset requires her to be unhappy, unlucky and oppressed. I found out first hand when I started to date these women how hard done by she claimed she and her children were, and it was always someone else’s fault. This mindset is also often adopted by her children.

So if something doesn’t go their way, they will emotionally manipulate their mother

- Financial Issues
Most men discover that single mothers gravitate to professions like: nursing, teaching, dental hygiene, daycare work, beauty salons and products. Few women enter into jobs that pay over six figures, so when I was dating them I found it was quite difficult to meet a single mom that earned as much as I did.

For the most part, they aren’t driving nice cars, living in nice houses, in good neighbourhoods or have their mortgages paid off. You will inevitably be called upon to pay for her life, and her children’s.
I’ve had several coaching calls with men where they paid off her debts, bought her kids cars, and paid for their college tuition. It’s quite common for uninitiated men to make themselves less, so she and her children can become more.

- Your re-prioritization
When you get involved with a single mother, you will never be her priority. Most men find their place in a pecking order behind her needs, her kids needs, her work issues, her wine drinking nights with her “sisters”, her salsa nights out, then her cat.

You will often be expected to make your hobbies and passions less of a priority, so you can focus on hers. They are “dream killers" when you let them.

- The BIG risk

- When it might be ideal to date a single mom
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EntrepreneursInCars
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On my 18th birthday, my parents threw a party for me and invited our next-door neighbors. "Jim, " one of our neighbors who had married a single mother asked me if he could talk to me privately for a few minutes. I figured he just wanted to encourage me to finish my education/save for the future etc. Instead, he said in no uncertain terms NOT to date or get involved with any woman who already has a kid. I said to him that he seemed to be doing okay with it but then he told me that it was all a "facade" and his life was miserable. His 8-year-old step-daughter had made his life a complete nightmare and he couldn't discipline her as his wife made it clear that he wasn't her "real" father and had no role in doing that. He was on the "hook" financially for the kid's braces/school costs etc etc. This step-child had this delusional idea that her real father didn't come back because "Jim" had shown up and she would take out her anger on him over it. Best advice I ever got

bufnyfan
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Words of wisdom from an elderly man for young men
Don't try to fix a heart you didn't
Break
Don't pay debt you
Didn't
Take
Don't rasise a kid you
Didn't
Make
Say NO to the women with children that wants to be your
Wife
Change this avenue if you want a happy
Life

garymiller
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Imagine me finding Rich and the red pill at 19. Life Saver.

daydentheonly
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I'm in a marriage with a mom who was single and I'm experiencing all of these issues. 100% of them. You know your stuff man.

Hevanz
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Since my divorce 4 years ago, I've had plenty of single mothers come after me. Shot all of them down quite easily. I've saved a ton of money and now I'm retired at the age of 53. Stay single, men.

MrHabs
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Rich, you’re so accurate with your observations. I dated a hot single mother 10 years younger than me but had a 5 year old son with behavioural issues. The sex with the single mum was mind blowing but she was desperate for a man to financially take care of her and her child. The price of being with her would be far too high so I ended the relationship. I feel I had a lucky escape, I didn’t let my balls control my brain.

SilveryFoxster
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Im so glad I found you. I just ended 5 yr marriage of a single mom of 2 boys. Every thing youre saying is correct about how men are looked upon as step father's

dariuswalls
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I am a divorced 45 year old man. I am currently dating a single mother. Like you said they all have kids in my age range. So far I am not experiencing any of these bad traits. Her having kids is her only red flag. She is very logical. She is a widow, wealthy and very attractive. She actually encourages me to work together with her with disciplining her kids. She corrects them and demands they respect me. So far so good. I'm hoping she is the exception to the rule.

natsum
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If you have a step daughter wait till she accuses you of seexual misconduct, nothing is worth risking that.

peterstoughton
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Thank you 🙏 I was about to marry single mom with 2 kids from two different guys. Saved myself embarrassment and $30k on a coastal wedding. Thank you. Thank you. One kid is 5years and the other 18years.

boneharvester_eth
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My life is precisely what Richard tells you young guys NOT TO DO!! Twenty-five years ago, I got involved with a single mom, and it was nothing but a disaster. This woman had more red flags than a Communist parade. I'm thinking about writing a book about all the mistakes I made, and the penalties I paid. It is quite the horror story. Listen to Richard and avoid the mistakes I made.

johnbopp
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First rule of dating single moms:
Do not date single moms.

danieldorn
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I was born in Seattle in 1973, where I grew up. Japanese-American. Male. A typical nice guy, good guy, and a nerd. So, when I'm 25, all of these desirable women pass over good guys like me, and they get pregnant by, and sometimes even marry Chad and Tyrone. "Chad and Tyrone are SO much more manly, studly, fun, and exciting, " they say. Then, Chad and Tyrone abuse them (which I DON'T condone). Chad and Tyrone leave them and the kids, and leave them hanging out to dry. THEN these single mothers want her and her kids to be "rescued." Who do they FINALLY go to, to rescue them? The Ichiros, the Changs, the In-Chuls, the Tuans, and the Khamphengs! (I am Japanese-American, so I can say these things). To my fellow Ichiros and Changs: If they won't take us in their prime, we should not take them in their decline!!

unappealingundesirable
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1. 4:46 - Cuckholdery
2. 12:05 - Responsiblity without authority
3. 16:05 - The victim mindset
4. 23:32 - Financial matters
5. 29:06 - Reprioritization
6. 34:55 - Big risk

R_Thomp
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Rich briefly touched on the fact that women rarely take responsibility for their poor choices. Rather than take responsibility, society applauds female behavior (you're so brave and courageous) and shames men that don't "save" these women. I wish more content providers would spend time calling out women for never taking responsibility for their poor choices. As a man, we never win. It's always our fault for women being miserable or experiencing bad outcomes. So tired of it.

glevando
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Rich, I just want to say thank you so much for the truth you are putting out there to make people lives better. I came out of a relationship with a single mom last year, she showed all the signs of NPD, love bombing me when we first got together. We moved in together after 9 months and that mask of hers slipped so fast, before long she was constantly criticising me and it was all about her. Although she put the blame on me and didn't take responsibility for anything, often having wild mood swings and never accepting criticism. She was always the victim. Not to mention I spend more time with her kid than my own which didn't sit well with me. I started watching your videos and it helped me get perspective. I ended the relationship and guess what, she went back to that love bombing phase again!! Pleased to say I've moved on now and am seeing someone 5 years younger than me, she doesn't have kids, keeps herself fit and is a great cook. I don't regret anytbing and am in a much better place now!

forafewdollarsmore
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These days a lot of women in their twenties are single moms. It is pathetic.

j.deleos
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Great video man I am 51 in good shape and have been single since I divorced 17 yrs ago. While that may seem terrible for some it’s worked out great for me and you have no idea how I thank the Lord w every day that dodged bullets left and right and now I am settled have a nest egg and will retire in about 3 yrs I can pay off my mortgage and I am good. (Smiling everyday)

sgtzulu
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Never dated a single mom. Have had fun with single moms though. There was one hot single mom I wanted to pursue, luckily I found Rich. So grateful for your guidance and never fell into the trap. Thanks 🙏

joeypaesano