You Don't Hate It: How to NOT Quit Everything You Start

It's insane how much I think I want and will enjoy something, just to end up wanting to absolutely quit it a few weeks or months down the line. As someone who struggles with consistency, motivation (for the right things), sticking to things and seeing them through, here are 4 of my main methods for doing things I am not enjoying (that don't involve doing them painfully and just powering through).
Because quitting is not always an option, and work that I do forcefully is honestly just bad: here's how I make myself enjoy things I really really want to quit.

To make your life easier:
0:00 Intro
1:47 Object of My Desire
8:38 Always Meet Your Heroes
12:13 Back on Track
15:30 Sixth Sense

If you want to stay in touch:

Or leave a comment, I (try to) answer 100% of comments :)

[Vanessa-sohn]

I have ADHD, so starting and quitting things is very common for me. But recently I realized that I'm coming back to the same things even if years have passed. So I don't see it as quitting anymore, I'm just taking a break for a while.

[yohaizilber]

”It’s not always that we need to do more but rather that we need to focus on less.” - Nathan W. Morris

[leti_ci_a]

Being diagnosed with adhd, I'm finally realizing I'm not lazy and there are people like me. I have a million different interests and never finish anything. Your videos made me feel much much better. Thank you!

[smsm]

I specially relate to your third point. The old me, on the path of becoming a doctor, would freak out at every challenge that may threaten my success, because failing means a huge chunk of me being taken away and a loss of identity. The current me holds onto principles that form my identity. Being a doctor is now just a way, out of many, to fulfil these principles. Not only that made me feel like a burden being lifted off my shoulder, but also helped managing the anxiety of failure that causes procrastination.

[AlexandrasGirlyTalk]

I can absolutely back you that neuroticism, obsession, introversion and sitting inside all day are 100% key 🔑 to my YT success 🥰☺️😂🙈

[khalilahd.]

Wow I’ve never heard of someone experiencing the EXACT same thing I have! Society has glamorized quitting but that’s not always the best option. Understanding this third option sounds like the perfect middle ground so thank you!

[mahamkhan]

You literally make me feel so seen and so not alone.. When you explain your thought processes behind why and how you think about certain things or how your mind works, it's literally like listening to everything I advocate for for myself, and no one believes me or cares to listen or understand and that leads me to gaslight and hate myself. I'm so glad I found your channel, your content is really helping me.

[LadyJenks]

"I am never on the path of any task that I need to do - I am on my path and my skills path." THIS.

[agl]

You’re the first person who I’ve seen also express “I want to do everything” fully and literally. Have felt it my whole life and have never known where to put the feeling. The strategic detachment is so important because I do often feel trapped or like I’m narrowing down my potential when I choose one option over another eg. My degree in x vs y which I still love

[syberyah]

8:32 "I know it sounds quite selfish and self-focused, but it really really helps in fueling motivation for things that I would otherwise be completely unable to find"

The thing is, that's human. Every one of us is human, and we innately don't want to do anything that doesn't benefit us, so we really *do* have to *use* our selfish desires to our advantage in order to get things done a lot of the time.

[ar]

A useful caveat for anyone who feels like this is excessive theorising for motivation, a lot of what is described may start off formal (listing skills, understanding your strategy etc.) but with practise and trust you can internalise a lot of it and it becomes second nature, like riding a bike!

[elyarpourakbar]

Gosh, now this is some real knowledge about productivity that is not toxic!

[lavendargooms]

I will admit, I love quitting things. The relief of not doing something I didn't want to do/that was hard, is very strong in me. This feels like such a successful way of coming at things, removing the risk/reward stuff that - you're right - doesn't motivate me and instead thinking about the skills I want...yes.

[yukidoit]

how can you push out these profound topics so quickly elizabeth? 🤯 you’re just amazing!!

[Becksnnc]

I've never had the mentality of wanting to objectively quit something. I might have stopped doing it for a long period of time but I've never thought "yeah I'm never doing this again it's too hard" etc. It will always still subconsciously be at the back of mind to come back to at some point if I choose to do so.

[IzzyHasADHD]

I just discovered your channel, and it could be titled how to survive ADHD. I just got my second diagnosis in my mid thirties and this time, being an adult, I can make decisions with regards to my treatment. Watching your videos, especially the one about the chaotic mindset, really helped me better organize. You truly deserve all the thanks, all the sponsors, all the likes and all the clicks 🙏

[risika]

The way Ive managed to stick to habits and not quit - overhauling how I approach taking care of my brain (exercise, journaling, studying etc) by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 50-60% effort into my journaling habit - to make sure I do it I began recording it and posting it on YT. After a really bad depression phase I started to believe I couldn’t change and I’d feel that horrible forever.

Historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, giving up and hating myself. So now I’m trying to give a small, consistent mediocre effort everyday. And its crazy how it adds up.

[junheal]

I found your channel this week and you're opening my eyes on many things, since I have more or less the same capability of doing almost impossible things when I really want it, but routines and repetitive things are the best way to let me abandon lots of projects. Thank you again for your suggestions, you're a real inspiration!

[oceeta]

My Takeaway from This Video (For myself, and hopefully for others that this interpretation helps)

MAIN: The focus of this video seems to me to be the skills that are needed to perform certain tasks, and trying to resolve those skills with the values that we hold. Keep this in mind as you go through each point of the video.

1) Object of My Desire.
This approach to motivating oneself requires the person to do three things:
a) Completely diregard any sort of object results that come with the completion of a task. These object results are both things that the person cares and doesn't care for. For example, these could be grades, money, fame, respect, etc.
b) Highlight all the skills that are needed to complete this task, no matter how little those skills seem to contribute to the task's completion.
c) Cross-reference those skills highlighted within the task at hand, and the skills that are tied with one's values. For example, if you would like to be a better communicator (value), and the task at hand requires some level of competency at communication (skill), that is a great motivator, as you then realize that the task which you want to perform is actually a vehicle that you can use to develop the skill of being a better communicator.
NOTE: The key thing to realize here is that the values which you hold are more often than not, tied to the skills that you need to develop to uphold those values. Those skills in turn can also be found in the task that you want to perform.

2) Meeting Your Heroes.
This approach to continued motivation is based on progress at the task at hand. Progress is a very powerful motivator, as we are likely to stick with something when we see that we are competent at, or at least getting better at it. The approach of meeting one's heroes is a way to find people that are very good at the thing that you want to do, and make a breakdown of exactly what skills they have that move the needle of progress on that task.
NOTE: Even if the skills they might have are not exactly what you are interested in developing, you can still mix them in with skills that you do enjoy developing. The essence of this approach is to focus the majority of your efforts on actually doing things that improve your competency, which will in turn, increase your motivation to perform the task.

3) Back on Track.
This approach is used to maintain motivation when you feel that you are trapped in doing a thing that you perhaps started out enjoying, but over time, your interest declined for said thing. This is a perspective shift that allows you to see all the things that you're doing/want to do for what they really are (vehicles to develop the skills needed to uphold your values). Basically, you are not on the path to doing/becoming anything. You are on the path to being yourself, and the things that you do are things that help you uphold the values you keep. You are never trapped, and everything that you do is for you, your future, and your skills.

4) Sixth Sense (Instinct Building).
Finally, this approach to having sustained motivation over the long term is one that focuses on intentionally developing a "sixth sense" for the task that you are performing. This is acheived by creating feedback loops for every single skill that the task requires, as well as constant changes being made off of the feedback gotten.

These are my key takeaways from the video. They are mostly for me, but I do hope this helped someone better understand the things being hinted at here by Elizabeth. The video is chock full of valuable information, and I've already watched it at least 5 times, and I find a new thing every time! Arguably one of the best videos I've ever seen on this platform, and the channel itself has been such a breath of fresh air for people like me that feel that there must be something fundamentally wrong with them when they don't want to do things/feel bad that they aren't performing well at the things that they are doing. Cheers!

[Konzertheld]

I have only met one person on my life who had the same desire to learn EVERYTHING and gotten zero understanding for why I start AND quit so so many things all the time. I've also been so frustrated by that behaviour myself. So so good to see I am not alone and there's a way to handle it better. I watched this video immediately after "You're not lazy" and I'll probably watch more of your videos, well, probably right now. 5 am. Why not. Thank you.