'Mind Reading' - (Theory of Mind & Double Empathy) Autism & Relationships 3

Understanding what someone might be thinking or feeling isn't mind reading - it's Theory of Mind. Some say autistic people don't have it, but they're sorely mistaken. But if that's the case - why do autistic people & neurotypical partners, friends & family often have so much trouble understanding each other?

#Actually Autistic #AllAutistics #AskingAutistics #Autism

Part 1: Dealing with Diagnosis

Part 2: "You've Changed"

Find more at

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[vikdaddy]

Well done on this ongoing resource. Doing a stellar job and deserve a larger audience.

[kaisfp]

I really aim to achieve someday an at least somewhat close to your level of clear thought expression level
which makes your great points impossible to misunderstand, it is quite rare when I finally find a YouTuber when I get a sense and satisfactory feeling of "I wouldn't change any word in this video. Every word is precisely and unmistakably describing the points of the video.".

In short,
I really like your points,
I LOVE your super clear way you phrase all those points,
I enjoy the exellence that super smoothly can flow into my mind, however weird that might sound if we try to imagine it literally :)

I wish you great success to you and to your channel, I'm totally convinced you deserve it, and more.

Thank you for your awesome videos,
I hope you have a nice day.

[stabbythedoll]

Thank You. I've spent my life learning psycology to help me navigate an alien society/family.I'm an artist and spicy a.f. undiagnosed, and psychic. Learning to communicate and be vulnerable.

[DirectusVeritas]

This was REALLY insightful. I'm not autistic (that I'm aware of) but I have recently met several autistic people and possibly identified others through the similar behaviors. I've been doing investigation to better understand things like why people say autistic people "don't understand feelings" but THEY feel very differently and often say the opposite is true. This helps to fill in gaps and get to the heart of the actual nature of the misunderstanding. For me, as a gifted and neurodivergent-explorative person, I'm really understanding much better how others react to me as well as how I can better react to their behaviors and reactions to me. Thanks for this!

[joannedixon-jackson]

Love this video. Very helpful, and explains a lot. Makes me think of the problems I had with an ex friend a few years ago, as I now think she and I ran on different operating systems. She rubbed me up the wrong way, assuming I would want to do the same as her. I didn’t. We are very different, and I felt she was bad-mannered for not having the courtesy to ask me.

Even when she did ask, however, she couldn’t handle my responses. She couldn’t handle no thank you, and would continue to pester me about the same thing I had said no to. I stood my ground, and was pretty annoyed at her disrespect. She would sulk because she wasn’t getting her own way. I should have blocked her sooner than I did, but it eventually reached a point where I had had enough. She still tried to nosey into my life, though, via my mum’s FB profile. I just felt she would be better off finding a likeminded person, as I was not that person, and that it was for her good as well as mine. I felt like she didn’t take the hint.

[alanguest]

I'm beginning to understand why I have "committed" so many "social foibas", and it may not always be my fault!

[RE-kkcq]

This channel deserves far more subscribers

[suzettescammahorn]

Oh my! This subject is actually what led me to realize I am on the spectrum. I actually arrived at the realization that I had always believed things about my family that might not be true on my own. That realization led me to looking for other explainations and thus I took the a.q. But I had not realized that ToM was an autie trait until recently but I still didn't make the connection. Your video really helped me understand ToM and my connection to it. Simply fantastic!

[andressolo]

Well, that trust you praise lead me to live for 6 years with someone who was lying to me from the very beginning, gaslighting me and making me believe I was paranoid when I noticed pretty obvious things.
Watch out for cluster B, my autistic friends.

Thanks for your vids, mate!

[julialaynemcclain]

Quinn, you rock! First time I understand theory of mind. Thx!!!!

[gonnfishy]

darn gosh. this video is the best way i have found to understand this whole thing.

application to life past and present = 100%

[khristanne]

This video has really nice production quality.

[taileenalvarez]

Your work is so important and I can't understand why you don't have more views and likes.

[danyelPitmon]

Trusting and believing it’s so difficult to work keeping things inside has been the easiest and best thing of all because I have made assumptions about people and found out later I was wrong and then it’s too late and yes pulmonary self diagnosing with autism and waiting for a referral to get professionally tested and also to get retested on all of my other mental health disorders which are at least six or so

[mariannehansen]

Thanks for making this playlist! I am watching a little now and then and digesting the information in between.
Kudos, by the way, to whichever one of you is making the graphics/illustrations in the videos. They are spot on and sometimes make me smile! <3

[kyleethekelt]

I think upbringing can also play a huge part in our interpretations. If my sister and I question one another it feels like a mutual challenge. However, if I try to go deeper, her stock answer is 'It doesn't matter" — a state from which she will not budge. I assume the worst due to my institutional upbringing teaching me that anyone in direct authority over me is out to do me no good.
Similarly, I find that any time a group is thoughtlessly exclusive (such as the Stay At Home Choir's insistence on handwritten Christmas cards for their card exchange which excluded me completely) I can be very unforgiving. These things are difficult to resolve when you are constantly being told your viewpoint either doesn't matter, or lied to about how valuable you are to the other parties when the actions fail to match the words. More on this topic would be of huge value to manyof us, I feel.

[Thomas-zeiy]

New subscriber here. Love all of your videos. They are very differentiated (I don't know if this is the right word, german: differenziert) and very carefully made. Also love your voice (soothing to me). Thank you.

[loricat]

I'd figured this out on my own, and have been struggling to put words to it. This is what I need, thank you!

[kconrad]

I disagree that all autists lack TOM with regards to understanding neurotypicals. Some of us are keen observers of people and their behavior and being that we have excellent pattern recognition skills, our brain forms correlations with a certain “type” of person and how they’ll behave.

I’m generally not one who ever brags about my abilities, because in fact I’m mostly very self-critical, but I have no problem saying I was blessed with a brain that acts as a natural criminal profiler of sorts—but with all people, not just criminals.

I can look at someone and make a highly probable guess of what they do for a living, what their interests are, what kind of person they are, and even how they’ll talk just based on the way they look.

It literally often boils down to their facial features too. I can’t put my finger on the exact mechanism, but I strongly believe human behavior and mindset that be predicted with a high degree of accuracy by facial features alone.

Are my perceptions accurate 100% of the time? No. But probably 98% of the time they are.

[HarryPotter-kbwe]

I have quite good theory of mind, yet, there's things I simply don't feel like doing. This is an incompatibility between people with different dispositions, likes and dislikes, preferences, ways of feeling and behaving, not a social cognition lack. It's impossible to tell things apart with current tools and diagnostic systems, and many different inner workings can lead to similar behavioral phenotypes.