I can teach social skills because I had to learn a lot of it piece by piece! #autistic #therapist

[CrankyOtter]

“Listen with your imagination, this is an analogy”. I love this orienting phrase.

[cryingemoji]

My therapist is autistic and she’s better at reading people and handling social situations than I, who is not on the spectrum. I watch her mirror my body language during the entire session

[paulinemoira]

It's like asking a native speaker about a grammar rule from their language and they say "eh, it just sounds right" versus asking someone who had to learn the language from scratch too and probably had the same question at same point.

[Fiery]

In a similar fashion. I had 2 fencing instructors. One was an Olympian. The other took 20 years to get his D (a low rank, it means he lost a lot). The low ranking teacher was the better teacher. He knew all of the mistakes and how to teach others to correct them. The olympian just expected us to do better by telling us to Do Better.

[tris]

The frustrating bit is that I am an excellent mediator. I can easily explain why something that is perceived as offensive to one party, but not intended to be offensive by the other, BUT I can't stop making social blunders myself! People are so complicated. I wish everyone would just say what they mean.

[marisakay_wlr]

“They never had to construct it in the first place” is such a good point. I forget that not everyone learned social skills through rigorous observation and experimentation. 😅

[andreas.]

For similar reasons, I think it’s important for language learners to have teachers who are native speakers as well as teachers who acquired the language. Somebody who’s been there and knows the ins and outs of acquiring the language has really valuable insight!

[gufu]

This is true in a lot of areas. In my experience, people who had to learn a different language are often good at teaching it because they had to grasp explicitly what a native speaker learned implicitly and often without awareness. Someone who learned a language could often tell me why and in what cases some words or constructions are used. Native speakers would just say, "I don't know, we just do."

[Breezely]

This is why I find a lot of 'social skills tips' completely useless. "Be yourself." "Be confident." "Honesty is the best policy." Are all junk. Being yourself obviously isn't working out too great. How can you be confident when every social situation turns awkward? And brutal honesty is a great way to make life long enemies!

Learning about boundaries, how to ease into relationships with peers, what is and isn't okay to talk about with whom, and how to respond in a way to is validating to others are all vital skills. Skills that are gained through knowledge, trial, and error.

[applicablerobot]

This is the most well constructed explanation I've seen on YT shorts. Kudos.
And this reasoning applies to NT people as well - those who had to work harder to learn something and have had less time to internalize it are much better teachers.

[bbekah]

Im autistic and work with kindergarteners, some of whom are autistic. I can teach them what I learned and what comes naturally. And its super satisfying watching their growth socially and emotionally.

[mailenheuberger]

Exactly, same here. I had to read books on social skills and then go and practice in real social situations. I didn't know I was autistic, I just knew I needed to earn those skills. Later, it was useful to learn about cluster B personality disorders, since I used to struggle with naivety and believing everything that was said. Manipulation patterns identification was the ultimate tool that I needed to feel safe on my own with my social skills set.

[mattwcheese]

I relate to this so hard as an ADHDer -a lot of stuff I had to put together but by bit, so I can think about it more than others.

[legueu]

Hearing: "Wow, how did you connect so quickly with this kids?" always makes me happy even after 20 years, because there is a ridiculous amount of work behind this skill. Great analogy.

[WushuMR]

This is exactly why I think second-language learners can make better language teachers. You know exactly what it was like for the person you are teaching.

[NicknotNak]

I remember being quite a chatterbox as a kid until someone sat me down and said "if there are 3 other people in the discussion, that means everyone gets 25% of the airspace. Some people like to have more breathing room but that is still their time: you dont have to fill it"

And that phrase fixed that problem but has made me super aware of of how much other people sometimes dominate a conversation too, in a "not listening when the other person speaks" way. Makes certain people more challenging to be friends with once youve noticed.

[TwistedGlitter]

It's the fact that you had to learn it in depth is part of what makes you a good teacher ❤

[SerialAnkleBiter]

“Listen with your imagination”
I have never found anything more helpful❤

[taylorplummer]

Im not autistic, but I've always struggled with social skills and i feel like the way you explain things feels so logical i love it

[Meili-qx]

I work in a college for people with autism and several of the teachers and teaching assistants are themselves autistic, like have been diagnosed with autism (and plenty more staff seem like they may be undiagnosed to me) and are great at teaching social skills and coping mechanisms to students, for exactly the reasons you just pointed out!

A lot of neurodivergent people work in the field of autistic education: not only because people want to use their experience to help other ND people, but also it's easier to get the accommodations folks need, especially since all your colleges are already trained about autism