Living as Female vs. Living as Male

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My experience of differences between being perceived as male and being perceived as female.

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I am ftm and worked at an auto parts store pre transition. All the time I would get comments of "Isn't this an auto parts store?" "Can I speak to a man?" Or my favorite "not bad for a girl". Now I am starting to pass more and I get the "thanks man" and customers ask for my opinions more and take my advice on their cars.

benjaminstratton
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Being spoken down to by men in the room even though I am the most experienced person in the room fills me with unquenchable rage.

echo_rook_earthscribe
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when i started being read as male, i noticed that servers at restaurants started primarily addressing me instead of my girlfriend at the time. It's weird how small interactions change so much.

ndoorliving
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“Ugh I’m on my period rn. You wouldn’t even UNDERSTAND the pain”
Me, a FtM: “oh yeah, no no there’s now way. I don’t understand at all-“

noblethenewt
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Jamie, a long time ago a very masculine biker friend of mine gave me a really good piece of advice “real men do cry, they wear pink and they eat quiche!”

firesong
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A shady guy in a trench coat approaches you from the shadows. He draws a knife, and says menacingly... "Give me your legs"

deviatedseptum
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Your comment about sitting reminded me of when I was in grade 2. I was always a bit of a "tomboy" when I was young. I will never forget my grade 2 teacher, Mrs. Grenier. She had a real issue with how I sat in my chair. She chided me often, stating that a proper little lady shouldn't be sitting like a "cowboy" and she even went as far as to talk to my mom and she made it her mission to teach me the "correct" and proper way to sit as a lady. She would have me practice how to sit. It was so humiliating. Today, looking back on this, it makes me so angry.

Kitkat
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The sitting legs open thing. I'm a cis female and when I was about 14 in a mix of rebellious + extreme obsession over a TV show phase I dared sit with my legs open. One day my grandma came to my room, sat beside me, and said: "You shouldn't sit like that, guys will take it as invitation…"

It's just one of those things that remain marked in your head and burn forever.

Edit: Checking back 2 years later upon getting a response, I'm trans now

SunnySunburstx
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My favorite MTF quote is, "When I was male I felt like a battleship, As a female I feel like a rubber raft."

rabokarabekian
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When I get read as a girl, I get addressed with sweetie and get talked down to a lot, even by other women. I'm also treated as if I'm weak and fragile even though I'm perfectly capable.

When I'm read as a guy, I blend it, I'm treated like just another person. People don't treat me as someone who needs help. I get a lot more respect. Also people are rougher with me.

There's a problem here

chaoticcar
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Oh my god, the sitting thing. It’s to the point where I actually catch myself thinking “oh, hang on, uncross your legs, that’s too ladylike.” And then I have to actively correct myself and be like “dude, just cross your legs if you want to cross your legs, for crying out loud!” XD why? It’s just sitting, people, seriously XD

alicaradec
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Can people stop being sexist, please? It's not fair to expect a guy to do heavy lifting by himself (as it can be dangerous) and it's also unfair to assume a female cannot do it.

agentmothman
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One interesting thing I noticed for me, pre-transition everyone just expected me to know a lot about cars and mechanics and just trusted my opinions in general
Post-transition - even though I now have a Diploma in Motorsport and worked as a mechanic for some time... People are surprised that I know about mechanics, or just dismiss my opinions entirely because there's no way I would actually know something about that.


Also walking around with a motorcycle helmet now people just assume I ride a little scooter and think I'm joking when I say I have an 1125cc Buell


People are weird

MotoCat
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Here’s an interesting thing... just after coming out to him, one of my cis male friends told me it’d be a good idea for me to go to the gym. I told him that being skinny doesn’t bother me but he told me getting bigger is about safety. Apparently because I’m really short (just over 5 ft), I’m an easy target and I need to get big enough to look a little intimidating. It’s interesting how he explained that the real world is sometimes like high school and the smaller guys tend to be taken advantage of (robbed, beat up, etc) more often but smaller guys with a bit of muscle are usually left alone. I’m pretty surprised he recognized that and now I have a gym membership...

kingofpopmichaeljman
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I'm 12 and I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria. I am wanting to transition from female to male. Your videos help me a lot. I'm wanting to be known as Skylar for now because my niece has always called me that for some reason. I'm a lot happier now because I'm dressing masculine and having people using male pronouns. IT'S AMAZING!

abbihead
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"Started living full time as male" made me laugh, it sounds like a job. From Monday to Fridays, business hours, I am non-binary. On weekends, I'm a potato.

kkinosvt
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I'm FTM too, and sometimes I almost feel like a spy among cisguys. Like "they don't know I'm not one of them. Hee-hee". do you ever feel like that?

kieranshae
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I'm a cis girl and I sit with my legs spread. I think everyone is just used to it now because I really don't care. Sit how you want.

ShendoPeach
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“For nearly six years... umhh...” literally me realising how long I’ve been out of the closet for and being shocked by it

ashbulus
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I find this really interesting, because you're confirming many of the "stereotypes" about how men and women are treated differently, which sadly aren't stereotypes but reality. And it's not often you see someone who have actually experienced both sides! I find it so sad that we all put each other in boxes. As a woman, I react strongly to a lot of the things I've experienced myself, but I think it's just as bad that men aren't supposed to show feelings, or automatically have to take the lead. And what the hell is it about the way we sit, that people feel they have the right to judge? That's just crazy.

laidikirsta