You Lose Yourself in Complex Trauma #complextrauma

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As a defense mechanism, you may have stopped sticking up for yourself or expressing your opinions to 'keep the peace' in your household growing up. Your sense of self and value may have become tied up in validation sought by others. It is common for many people to unknowingly bring this habit into adulthood, manifesting itself in people-pleasing and being 'agreeable'. In the process, the self can be lost, and so can taking care of it.

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[danak]

I'm 32 and it's only been in the last few years of fighting to pay off credit card debt from buying things I "should" like or want, and binging on food as my cope.

I realize that I was just copying others. It's only been this year that I'm making it a priority to find out about myself. And you know what? I'm not the subpar mess I thought I must be underneath all the trying.

[smoozerish]

I agree. That's exactly what I said when I went into therapy 20 years ago. It's well worth the journey to find out who you are.

[freespirit]

I have complex PTSD. Your videos are helping me…more than words can convey. I am most grateful.

[LOVEISTRUTH]

Slow but important Be patient with yourself, be self compassionate.
Always choose LOVE💖💖💖

[josephbelisle]

This is true. As a child I was forced to be someone else. My identity was shattered over and over again. Imagine the worst brainwashing you can imagine. This was my childhood. I couldnt be me. I had to be what they thought i should be. A broken and shattered little boy that they passed off as shy. I wasnt shy. I was half feral and half zombie. An alien living in an alien world. Its taken me a long time to figure out who I am and im still learning about me and who I was.

[comnandmentsdeadlysins]

7 years of healing work done. Now I have a list of things I have done in life. I do not know what I truely enjoyed for myself or what I enjoyed doing for others that also filled me with happiness for them. Resolved myself to the STFU list of negative conversations that required my action to silence the source of negativity. I can remove those easy. As for the rest here is to repeating things in life independently so I may one day find truely only me and what I LOVE.

[DorchesterMom]

Because it’s so complicated, some of it I simply can’t avoid or walk away from. I grew up as the only child of a schizophrenic, we were abandoned by my alcoholic dad and I was left feeling totally lost holding the bag at 12.

At 43, I still feel like a broken child. I’ve been walking on eggshells all my adult life. I love my mother, I take breaks from her sometimes but I can’t walk away entirely. I care about her, and now she’s dying of cancer. We just got to the part where the disease progressed and she’s starting to feel pain. I can’t even begin to think about myself because I’m still just reacting. The trauma doesn’t stop.

I feel unformed with no core. I have grace for myself, I know it was never anyone’s fault - but I’m terrified. How can I begin to build myself with all the unavoidable going on? I love her, yet growing up that way kept me from forming myself as a whole person. Now I see her slowly suffering. I feel like I’m breaking down because she’s all I’ve ever had and I love her. Thank god for my husband and kids now holding me
Asking anyone who sees this to please pray for my mom, that God keeps her from pain and sickness, that her remaining time is full of happiness. That she stops worrying about me. My heart is breaking. I know that my life starts after she goes, but I don’t want it to happen just yet. And when it inevitably does, I don’t even know where to start.

[RosieBrighteyes]

This was so true for me, but once I developed a stronger and more positive inner narrative, I was able to slowly grow my self-esteem and confidence. I started trying new things to see what I like and what I’m good at, what I’m bad at (need more practice at), and it has actually been fun and exciting!! It takes a lot of practice to let go of the bind of shame, but it finally feels possible, and certainly feels worth it. #CPTSDrecovery #depressionrecovery #GADrecovery #noshame

[IRISHWINECOOP]

Thank you so much for your amazing work. I wrote it here but it is valid for each and any of your hundreds of video I saw from your work and I haven't told you yet. Thank you so so so much.

[carmenlux]

Slow but super important journey. Saved my life and elevated it to a very high-quality.

[amanisaad]

Your teachings enlightened me and made a remarkable change in my life. Thank you 🙏❤️

[Monkchip]

That's an intense but true 💯 description of my dilemma!

[atarakay]

I remember people used to ask me how I’m doing, and I always answered by saying what all my siblings were up to… And they would say OK but what’s going on with you? And I genuinely did not understand the question.

[CharleneParchert]

Wow! This is very powerful information. I see this with my brothers. My mom did this too. This is what Cheryl has done her entire life.

[heatherpalmucci]

So so true. And is a slow process but you have to prioritize it.

[StoneWaterGlass]

They dont even know that they exist, thats my own experience from being abused and healing

[karenbrown]

I remember that. I do know more about who I am now and parts I need work on and my gifts. Jesus helped me through the trauma ❤

[hartartiste]

Complex Trauma is *caused by perps* who have continually stopped this person from engaging in their journey safely and effectively without abuse or neglect

[namachem]

I don't use people's needs to distract from myself?! People won't leave me to do my own things, everybody constantly always wants something from me Or Else(tm). 🎉

[robertdeheer]

It’s interesting that people don’t like people who have experienced complex trauma