Why They Stop Trying In The Relationship

In this episode, Teal Swan reveals the deepest, most unconscious, and most difficult to recognize relationship apathy pattern. She explains why some people only feel valued for what they do, not for who they are, and how this leads to apathy in relationships.

She also shares how to break free from this pattern and find partners who value you for your intrinsic qualities. Watch this video to learn how to overcome relationship apathy and revive your love.

Listen Out For:
- Relationship apathy is a sign of unmet needs
- The deepest cause of apathy is wanting to be valued for who you are
- Many people only know how to be valued for what they do
- This leads to a mismatch between what you offer and what you want
- You can overcome apathy by advertising what you want to be valued for

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👉 Who Is Teal Swan?

Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader and a Bestselling Author who is an expert in human development and relationships. She has over a decade of experience working with people of all walks of life with a mission to reduce human suffering.

Today, she’s also become an International Speaker, having facilitated retreats and life changing workshops in large venues worldwide. Teal was ranked 15th on The Watkins Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2023.

👉 Follow Teal Swan:
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Beginning and Ending Song:
Teal Swan Intro by Christian De Raco

[irina_shaman]

When someone says that they wanted to be LOVED, they MEAN that they wanted to be VALUED, APPRECIATED and WANTED.
Thanks, Teal 💛

[bh]

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have incarnated in this life time without knowing that you'll be teaching and basically saving lifes during these decades... Thank you Teal

[annikabirgittanordlander]

”Things that a person might want to get out of a relationship: a sense of belonging, intimacy, togetherness, sex, trust, a sense of security, protection, shared experience, affection, attention, prioritization, emotional connection, joint goals, romance, significance, respect, kindness, honesty, dedication, excitement, encouragement, self-esteem, acceptance, not to be lonely anymore and the list goes on and on”. Teal Swan. Thank you Teal 🌎

[cspvlncspvln]

We must know ourselves well in order to be honest about what we are looking for in a relationship... inner work... awareness... 💫

[mariarossi]

I am the very definition of apathy when it comes to human relationships. I've literally given up trying. I'm generally far happier in the presence of animals than I am with people.

[toxicmale]

In reality, both Michael and Kelsey would call each other "narcissists", and continue on having relationships with other "narcissists." All because neither of them trusted the other enough to break the ice and talk about their needs.

[corinneperry]

This was the pattern with my ex… I really loved him for who he was, but I did also need him to put energy in our relationship. He kept doing less and less, and I had to do it all. Drugs were involved. I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to leave him eventually, hardest thing I ever did.

[Nina_Kowsari]

So accurate. You can't be present in a relationships/connections when the other person has checked out. You can't keep a sense of of connection on both ends. We can only do our part to be connected and if they don't, the relationship will fall apart and watching this video, it makes perfect sense that it should.

[dearhorse]

not always the case, some people want others to chase them, and/ or to not be responsible for a relationship

[rebecca_stone]

Some people are so broken by repeatedly not being loved for who they are, that by the time someone does, the shame is so overwhelming they not only can't let it land, but it triggers violence. Reflecting on my relationship which recently ended. My partner was traumatised by past relationships, but was overwhelmed by how triggered he got by me being present with his vulnerability. He also overlaid this filter to our relationship, to the point where I was eventually pretty much doomed. Creating a safe conversation space to talk about needs, didn't work. It instead escalated into terrifying rages, contempt and violence. I hung and tried as long as I could. Letting him go is devastating.

[munchkinssassine]

Thank you God for this woman who cuts the BS and gets straight to the point. She is the game changer that the spiritual community needs. She has the ability to get us out of the clouds and in our lane for the race of humanity.
I’ve just discovered her and what a breath of fresh air she is. Hallelujah 🙏🏻

[HananBenNafa]

Great example. No one in this entire world talks about relationships as well as Teal does! thank you x

[xono]

It’s called “Relationship incentives” what is the incentive to be in a relationship with you. Sometimes instead of connecting with someone we unknowingly are just telling them how useful we are.

[johannachristou]

I'm a healer and a witch.... my about to become ex partner.... has labelled me: housewife with a hobby.... he takes me for granted and is totally irresponsible.... apathy is here big time... 😢😢 because I was brought up to be the responsible person and do everything.... he, has been brought up with everything done for him and he do nothing.... when I entered the relationship, I was in a very different space.... I have changed but he hasn't 😢

[kalth]

The synchronicity of the videos Teal puts out and what im going through in life at the moment never ceases to amaze me❤ thank you Teal 😘

[strawberrymins]

Oh. Crap. This pattern is the story of my life and one I’ve felt so out of control and power with when it comes to changing it. Friendships, bosses, partners, family, you name it, it’s a real nightmare. Thank you teal 🙏🏾

[PieterBreda]

Great content. I figured out my own pattern some 12 years ago. Life is a lot better now. I am alone but not lonely. I have never felt lonelier than in a bad relation.

[trippssey]

They want unconditional love they didnt get from their parents and they expect it from their partner which is impossible and unfair.

[CherubxASMR]

I disagree. This is trauma avoidance. You naturally take care of the people you love. You naturally provide in taking them as a part of yourself. You cannot just have separate relationships and expect to get your needs met because the wound will still be there. You must both value who you are and value what you offer because what you offer is a direct reflection of who you are.

[samicrowshaw]

I don't ever post comments on videos but I felt an urge to on this one.

I am currently going through a breakup and I have realised that I was becoming apathetic towards the relationship in the lead up to its end. My partner made it clear they did not want to build a future together outside of their relationship with their parents, who we were living together with.

"I can't imagine living without my mom" were one of many things they told me during the course of our relationship. In hindsight I could have noticed what this meant for me and them moving forward, how can you expect to build a life with someone who is so codependant on another person? I found myself collecting bricks for a house we were never going to build. Over time I was so jaded by it I failed to even realise myself just how much I stopped caring. Why would I feel the need to fill up the tank of gas to a car I know isn't even going to take us to our destination?

Lesson learned I guess, no matter how much love you hold for a person, if they can't help fulfill your collective needs then you need to communicate your desire to leave.