Matching people's energy can change your relationships

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[empress_enchantress]

"Your matching energy isn't revenge, it's self-protection."
*TRUE*

[feiwaan]

"Invest in others as much as they invest in you" 💯

[ummerkasana]

For anyone that needs to hear this, "Stop watering dead plants"

[loria]

This was definitely needed. I have been dating a woman who gives much less than me. Once I started giving less she started showing up more then I started matching her energy only for her to fall back again so now I’m back to her giving less and I’m doing the same. I’m hoping eventually I’ll just completely move on from her because I really don’t like the feelings that I can’t give freely. I’d rather go somewhere where my natural energy is reciprocated more.

[oscarthagrouch]

you don’t realize how many lives you’re changing rn 😩

[emeree]

Damn, growing up I was taught that being generous and not expecting anything in return was a virtuous thing. Because of that, I feel I've grown up to be giving and empathetic, but the tradeoff was that I literally had no sense of self-preservation lol. Often felt like I was taken for granted a lot, which sucked but I know better now. Gotta take care of yourself before you can take care of others

Another topic that really hits hard. Thanks for this <3

Edit: uh didn't expect this comment to get this much attention but thank you for the insightful replies. To the people that resonated, I hope you're doing better and setting good boundaries for yourselves 😌

[stephaniem]

I'm an under-invester. I don't cancel plans and I am respectful. I just struggle to stay in touch with people and take initiative. I care about them very much, I just suck at showing it. I feel really bad about it.

[iwasbornunderwater]

This was so hard when I started doing it. I lost friends and initially panicked because my self esteem was so dependent on how many people I had around me. Took me years to realize those people weren't good friends/partners to begin with.

[lashexpresso]

I used to be a chronic-over investor in all my relationships and watching this video helped me discover that that was the root of my resentment narrative with others. As a recovering codependent, I now do my best to match energy but often under-invest in order to practice detaching from letting others' behaviors mean something negative about me or my self-worth.

[charmaineneshanathan]

It's obvious to witness how much people actually care when it's your birthday

[CiaraLynn]

I like the idea of matching energy. However, it should be done in moderation. Especially if you start to mirror the other person. You may lose your sense of self

[PanicAtTheDisco]

I’m a chronic under-investor in friendships and I guess I didn’t realize it until now. As a neurodivergent person, I’m pretty easily overwhelmed and doing things that take a lot of my energy is difficult. I don’t need a lot of communication or reassurance from my friends to still consider them my close friends and I sometimes forget not everyone feels the same way. This was eye opening, thank you.

[admirbarucija]

I’ve been doing this for years now and it’s so liberating! No need to burn yourself out trying to hang around people who don’t care enough to put in the effort

[naomi]

Setting boundaries and prioritizing myself has been life changing.

Nourishing the relationships that compliment you and add to your life is the best decision ever.

I am not saying cut out everyone who doesn’t match your energy but knowing where you stand in others people life is crucial.

[flashnimi]

The problem is this might lead to a vicious cycle of constantly decreasing energy in a relationship. It makes more sense to give the energy you want in a relationship first, and if they do not reciprocate, then match their energy or leave.

[PaperParade]

I just feel like I am ALWAYS on the short end in every relationship. I’ve stopped feeling capable of having friends or a partner because nobody shows up or reciprocates, so I’ve just stopped trusting anybody. It’s exhausting. I don’t know how to find people like me.

[kelsey]

" it's not like you're playing games, because if someone is as invested as you are then your relationship/Friendship will flourished" DISSS THOOO so dang trueee

[gemini]

I was talking to this guy who was basically emotionally unavailable and ignored all the other guys who gave me attention and it used to drive me crazy. Until the night i decided to ignore him, and give attention to the other people who cared about me. And I’m telling you that night was life changing . I felt so happy, and it was respect toward myself

[nadiarambles]

Over investor here. 👋😅

Growing up, it was ingrained in me to be "selfless" and "turn the other cheek." Giving all my of time, energy, and resources freely to everyone around me completely drained me in my early twenties. Over the last few years, I had to step back and work on setting up personal boundaries to ensure that those whose cups I filled also filled my cup. Not in a transactional, or "tit for tat" way but certainly ensuring that my close relationships are reciprocal.

This has become more easy/natural for me with family, friends and work relationships, but as I get back into dating, I need to remember this. I've saved this video and would like to keep matching energy in mind.

[shinapi]

As someone who doesn’t have the best relationship with their self-worth, this is actually a great strategy!