what are they talking about?

[joes]

Canada, Alaska isnt there to protect you from Russia because you would lose, its there to protect you because Geneva doesnt have the budget to write up all the warcrimes you would invent as a response.

[revtoyota]

As an Alaskan that is also a crab boat captain, I approve of this message. I got my loincloth at the ready and a few cans of smoked salmon for fuel.

[JingleJangle]

Unlike the Russian navy, the Alaskan crab-fishermen know how to keep their boats working.

[hairy-one]

I'm an Alaska resident, and we're more armed than Texas, can fade away into the forest, and can go toe to toe with them Siberians in winter(-37 this morning, and it;s not even very cold.) Plus, we have a lot of bootleggers. (Secret weapon-give it to them and watch 'em do their chronic alcoholic thing.)

[coutou]

Things that I learned to NOT DO against America, after watching countless war documentaries and fun videos about the US military, as a foreigner:
- Don't touch the 2nd amendment.
- Don't touch American boats.
- Dont touch the Americans.
- Don't touch their lands, sea, air... you get it.
- Lastly *deep breath* God forbid... DON`T TOUCH THEIR OIL.
Russia is messing with all the 5 above.

[BrazenSal]

As a former Alaskan soldier I recall The Canadians training with us and beating our asses while riding snowmobiles And stealing our strykers. Also the running joke for Fairbanks and ft Wainwright was "IF" Wainwright was to fall. Fort Greeley had the green light to nuke us.

[reverseshotgun]

Fun history fact: Russians have traditionally sucked at mountain warfare.

Fun geography fact: Alaska has 39 different mountain ranges.

[peregry]

Missed opportunity: having Japan comment on trying to invade Alaska. During WW2 Japan occupied a few of the Alaskan Aleutian Islands, back then Alaska was just a territory, not a full State, and the US dedicated considerable manpower to drive the Japanese from those islands simply on the principle of "get the fuck off our lawn".

[CynicallySarcasticReserves]

Canada would fulfill that Geneva Checklist so fast if given opportunity.

[magicstixr]

When someone (a retired navy sailor I work with) asked me why it was such a big deal that Russia took Crimea back from Ukraine in 2014 because it "used to be Russian territory, " my exact words were something along the lines of "what if they decided they wanted Alaska back because it used to be Russian territory?"

His response was "well they'd never do that."

Steve, here's your "fuck you what did I say?" 10 years later.

[natedogg]

Love how Russia is getting stomped by Ukraine with 5% of our fires capability... And they think they can face the U.S itself... They must really want a kick in the Putin.

[archangeldo]

Weren’t we waiting for a reason to use Rapid Dragon???

SEND IT!!!

[Norbrookc]

Russia: "We have sent troops to reclaim our territory."
Alaska: "We were wondering why there was all this junk scattered around and the polar bears were looking particularly healthy."

[philschaefer]

As a 30 year Alaska resident I approve of this message. Except forget harpoons, the average Alaskan uses a .300 Win Mag and has a couple AR's just for fun.

[Ky-kxhd]

My favorite thing about this whole scenario is that our collective response is genuine laughter 😂 like, nobody is worried at ALL and it's HILARIOUS.

[mr.bigfoot]

As an Alaskan native I can confirm you do not want to be hit by a harpoon.

[primes]

As a Florida man, I would like to point out something wrong. A true Florida man would stop at "standing across the ice". The only ice we put up with is in our drinks.

[aarongerard]

It's true. Alaska is there to keep us Canadians from going full hockey fight on Russia.

[anthonyrogers]

Germans during WW2 referred to the Canadians to' Yetis' during the winter months, as the Canadians were confromatable fighting in the cold.

[vince]

I lived in Alaska and was stationed in the Aleutian Islands. We did search and rescue for the fishing fleet when the Coasties couldn’t. You mess with one dollar of their income and you will be used as bait. That show The Worlds Deadliest Catch got the title right but only ever showed the G-rated stuff.