When Should You Help Your Adult Children and When Do You Let Them Learn?

When Should You Help Your Adult Children and When Do You Let Them Learn?

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[jyywkww]

Growing up I had a roof over my head, some food, and butt whoopins. Been working since 14, started part time at a graveyard. Had to earn everything I had. It amazes me all these kids who’s parents buy them cars, pay their insurance, phone bill, pay for their college, help with large down payments on a house ect. I hope you all appreciate it and know how lucky you truly are.

[NickVetter]

I'm 20 and living at home while going to school for finance. I am basically getting paid to go to school from the scholarships I have received. I also have a detailing business that I run from my mother's house. I'm so lucky to live here and get all the support from her. She is not wealthy and I help her as much as she let's me. I can't even consider moving back out for a while when I think about how much I'm saving.

[joedessenberger]

Our kids got $5 for each "A" and if straight "As" they got $100 with half to savings. This was our start to showing them that hard work pays off. We set up a Coverdell Roth IRA for each kid's college account. I split my post-911 GI Bill and gave half to each kid which funded about 18 months of classes for each. I bought each of them an older car for high school. There was an expectation that if they were not playing sports in school that they got a job. Son received a full ride academic scholarship and can save his Coverdell for Medical School costs. Once they got into college, it was on them except for food when they were home on break. Daughter saved any excess from the Post-911 and set it aside to pay for additional months of college. Set up a retirement Roth with $500 for each kid on their 19th birthday with the challenge to always pay themselves first going forward. First one launched and graduated college to a very good career. She is very budget minded and is still funding the Roth. Her Coverdell was not fully expended, and she is now using it to finish grad school debt free. The second is still in college and is putting money into the Roth while working. Have great confidence he will launch well too. It has always been about giving them vision, goal setting, and showing that we live below our means to maintain fiscal stbility.

[tammysmith]

What is the red value sticker on Brian's polo?

[Tesla-Cannon]

I think invest in their safety as well. I’ve always been generally good with money, but my first job out of college didn’t pay well. I lived in dangerous city apartments and after I experienced several crimes and my mother saw my living conditions, she loaned me a small starter house down payment and she’ll get the money back when I sell it. I now have better mental health, I have another income stream because I have a roommate, and I know what it means to care for a tangible investment.

[AustinSalonen]

Your Bill Gates example is the education version of your $88 beer. He had 5-7 years of compounding growth before everyone else started.

[manan]

I’m in college and financially dependent on my parents. They send money to my account.
The thing is they send me when I exhaust all the money(0$).sometimes it takes 40days or 25 days. Is this way okay or they should send me money in a monthly basis?

[ddellwo]

My feeling has always been that once you become a working adult, the only way your parents should help you financially is when they die and their estate is split evenly amongst any siblings. 

One bit of advice I WILL offer based on my family’s experience - if you have a LOSER child in the mix, DO NOT try to save them by giving them an inordinate share of your assets in the mistaken belief it will save them! For one thing, IT DOESN’T WORK, and for another, it completely tears the family

My family was DESTROYED because my mom thought she could save two of my loser sisters by giving them a bunch of cash. Three years removed from my mother’s death and the two loser sisters are just as broke as they’ve always been and the family has been destroyed…….☹️

[joshuagarner]

Well since boomers and and gen x have sold out their kids and grand kids futures, this is a hard question