How To Get Revenge On Your Cheating Spouse

So your spouse has had an affair...and you are ANGRY. They broke your trust, your vows, and your heart.

You may be shocked. You may not know what to do next.

Or maybe you know exactly what you want to do- get revenge on your spouse and make them feel the pain you’re feeling. While “punishing” your spouse may feel good in the moment, it will ultimately lead you to feel worse and push your spouse further and further away from you. How do we know this? We work with people in this situation every single day.

Those who have had to endure the incredible hurt of being cheated on felt like all they wanted to do was seek revenge and make their spouse pay for the emotional damage...but what they eventually found was that, more than anything, they wanted to get their marriage BACK. They hated the affair. They hated the hurt. But they still loved their husband. They still loved their wife. And if you’re watching this, you may feel the same way.

If you even a small desire to fix this relationship - then trying to get revenge will only push your spouse further away.

So what can you do? Are you supposed to just sit there and let this happen? Do you just wait for him or her to come back to you like a puppy? Does this mean you accept the affair and never speak about it again? Absolutely not.

Either way you should not have to live in this place of wanting revenge forever. It’s absolutely ok to feel angry and hurt… but the goal is to work on forgiving and moving past the hurt...to make you a better you. To be an overcomer. To become stronger. No matter what’s ahead. We teach you how to implement these things at Marriage Helper- through online courses, Marriage Coaching, and our marriage-saving Workshops. Give us a call. We’d love to help.

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[sjackson]

Why is all of the advice out there for the betrayed to forgive and let go when we didn’t do anything to deserve this treatment in the first place? Where is the advice for the cheater to stop being an ass?

[ROCKSTAR]

I just sat back and let karma pay em a visit

[maddie-knxu]

It's not going to be fixed. Cheating is one of the worst betrayals in a relationship. Love yourself enough to leave the relationship. Have self-respect.

[margiealbaran]

I can only live in peace only after I get my revenge....

[tekunman]

Value yourself and move on... there are billions of people out there, you don't deserve the disrespect! Don't seek revenge, just live a better, fuller life, it's time to go out there and find someone that deserves you....

[TheOlmonroe]

Best revenge is cutting ties and living great.

[badgerden]

"Vengeance is Mine; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; for their day of disaster is near, and their doom is coming quickly.” -Deuteronomy 32:35.

[istvanbartha]

I thought this clip was about how to get revenge, not how to become a door mat. One thing that singles out your cheating significant other from all other potential future partners is that he/she has cheated on you..Get a fresh start and leave the cheater behind, and put your money on a good lawyer instead of putting money into therapy to save something broken.

[kermitalexander]

Come on people infidelity is big business. Just remember a person that doesn't respect you is not scared of you.

[williampeek]

First, you can tell how much revenge hurts the cheater. You can see it in their emotions, actions and levels of anxiety and depression.
Second, a cheater is only encouraged to repeat the same behavior unless there is negative consequences.
Stop seeking revenge gives the offender a pass.

You my dear are setting yourself and other people to be repeat victims. You can't save a marriage if the cheater doesn't feel EXTREME negative reinforcement.
Your advice sounds high and mighty but just enables cheaters.

[fernandoparra]

if it happends once, you can never trust again. You can try to fix it, but sooner or later it will break

[GirlArmy]

After how many times are u supposed to forgive? Serial cheaters? I don't want revenge. I have flatlined. Years of hurt and being blindsided. Zero trust for him. When I feel like I can move forward...same thing happens again...different person. I have PTSD from this relationship....(I am also a Military Veteran so for those of you who think I can't use that term...back off).

[Random-rtec]

All I know is personal experience & being cheated on is the most most painful experience in the world, even worse than the death of my parents. When my first wife cheated within 10 minutes of finding out I moved out, I gave her the house & bought her a new car & moved on. My revenge on her was to upgrade my life so much so that our kids begged to live with me because we had so much fun together on my weekends. For me moving out & moving on was the only way because cheating crosses a line that I won't put up with.

[brookestarr]

This girl is spot on how I feel after my spouse cheated. It’s so painful, yet you still love them.

[twocents]

The best thing to do is discard the relationship and move on. Whether the cheating partner wants to reconcile is irrelevant. There may be contention over rights involving assets and children, but that is best handled without emotion and with a lawyer. Don't think revenge, but rather rather focus on overcoming the obstacle that is your failed relationship. It is much better to retain your self respect, than the love of a known cheater. Save your money and scrap the counseling idea.

[cmockingjay]

I’m not stuck I caught her cheating and I deserved more respect after fourteen years, went no contact and glad I did! There’s life after divorce!

[bigpaul]

You know it's wrong to cheat cheating is a choice you know that would hurt your spouse so you've done it anyway so suffer the consequences from it

[vincenttooles]

I just found out my wife was having an affair and she initially tried to blame me. That reason alone is why we are toast. What type of person do I want to be? The type of person that won't tolerate bs. I'm not interested in hurting her the way she hurt me, I just want to move on and heal. I think it's absolute bs to ask the person who was cheated on to change their behavior to stay in the marriage that their partner stepped out on.

[kjbrocky]

Do whatever makes you feel better and empowered. No more Ms. or Mr. nice

[rubyyatabir]

Doing nothing after caught cheating means letting him/her the opportunity to cheat again. best way is cut the relationship.