How to Make Them CHASE YOU Without “Playing It Cool”

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We’ve all been told that we should never come on too strong, and that playing it cool is the best way to get someone interested. But how much interest is the right amount to show in the early days of dating? If we show too much interest, we worry we’ll lose all our “power,” but if we show too little, they may not even realize we’re interested. 

In today’s brand-new video, I share 5 tips on how to approach this in the early stages of dating so you can not only show the right amount of interest, but also encourage the same in the other person.

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▼ Chapters ▼

0:00 – 2:00 – Playing It Cool
2:00 – 3:08 – Is It Necessary?
3:08 – 4:32 – #1 Baby Steps of Encouragement
4:32 – 7:14 – #2 A Snapshot in Time
7:14 – 9:36 – #3 You Don’t Need an Emotional Babysitter
9:36 – 11:16 – #4 What We Should Be Most Concerned With
11:16 – 14:05 – #5 Your Standards
14:05 – 16:06 – Trusting Yourself
16:06 – 17:58 – A Place to Feel Safe, Secure, and Happy
17:58 – 19:57 – Virtual Retreat (With Special Guest Dr. Ramani)

[Idkgtgle]

Great message for both genders! Not to speak for all men, but it's a huge turn off when women do not show interest. I had to let this girl go not long after I asked her out because she wasn't showing enough interest. The energy and effort was one sided. This "power" ideology is such bs in my opinion. Or "playing it cool" for guys is stupid too. You know what's attractive and cool? Being a genuine, down to earth person that's not afraid to show your true self to anyone.

[MidwestLori]

I had a friend at work say "It isn't a question of do they like me, it's do I like them"? That really changed my perspective.

[Shanieceflordi]

Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.

[Roj]

This is a refreshing video.
So much dating advice is based on hiding your feelings to keep your power.
The paradox is that dating advice aimed at men advises them exactly the same - "let the woman do the 90% of the pursuing, if they don't it means they never cared anyway, so move on to someone else. "
When both genders are hearing this we end up with a convoluted game of courtship where everyone loses. No point keeping all the power if it means living with cats till you die.

[julievanzile]

I spilled my guts to my ex but was rejected. I was just happy to be authentic and now I can let him go. Never felt more myself.

[Sarina]

the problem with "playing it cool" is also that if you happen to date someone with an avoidand attachment style you're playing right into their cards. They think you don't want/need that much closeness either and you don't care if they disappear for days in a row while you're quietly suffering, not saying anything because you try to play it cool. I had to learn this the hard way and after this experience, the popular book "attached" goes deeper into this topic and it was such an eye opener for me. I learned that it's perfectly normal to wish for closeness/ a relationship and it doesn't make you needy. So from now on I will go on dates with the same approach as you recommend in this video. Not playing games, showing in baby steps if I'm interested and if they don't reciprocate, move on.

[YuyiLeal]

Being authentic - showing ourselves as we are, that really gets us close to those that are a true match!

[hiiiroobee]

"I've scared away someone who isn't compatible with me" i love this ❤ !!!!

[LynneJennings-ul]

Nobody’s fault if it doesn’t work out, we just move on.

[vanessadevries]

This was so timely for me. Point 4. “Be afraid of keeping someone who isn’t a match for us around”(9:40) and being grounded knowing you are enough and everything in your life will be ok in the end whether this person is in or out of you life are foundational to quality of life.

[CS.]

Matthew, I hope you realize how many guys are sharing these videos with each other. Everything in your videos resonates with us, too. Been sharing these with friends for weeks now. This is the type of dating advice and influence guys need: advice that helps you develop self-respect while maintaining respect for others

[DeadCat-]

if a women doesn't express attraction to me, I'm not attracted to her.

Playing hard to want is the biggest red flag there is.

If I'm not option one, I'm not an option.

[chavesa]

Someone came into my life who was not a match for me at all, and triggered all of these trauma responses. I made a fool of myself but I managed to cut it off before it killed me. It is absolutely true that attraction one day is not attraction on another, and if they are hesitant to commit then that is the sign to reinforce your standards and accept that they're not right for you. I wish I had done mine sooner.

[northshorelight]

A few weeks ago when I was feeling very anxious about a relationship, I looked up videos about "having more faith in God". I got the best advice ever! All you can do is show them interest, love, and kindness without expectations. If they're not reciprocating then you move on. The key is do it without expectations. If they do come back, well it's really in your court now if you're still interested. I like Matthew's advice, "I moved on because I didn't think you were interested."

[TheBlackManMythLegend]

that's exactly how I do it. Full confidence vibe, no game, direct but calm. A calmy charming pure caribbean vibe.

[felixthecat]

When a guy "tries too hard" its called needy or clingy.
I really wish we could all just be honest with ourselves and each other.

[danielleemch]

I think it's a great thing to meditate before going on dates you get out of your head and into your heart it also allows you to be in the moment of what you are doing and just have fun 🥰

[ceeceesochi]

Nowadays people are just weird and I think alot of ppl are afraid of getting hurt, due to past experiences. But it’s a lot of narcissists out here and it’s scary. I don’t think anyone should have to chase. The feelings should be mutual if it’s meant to be. I think sometimes ppl show interest for the moment and then pulls away for various of reasons. When someone pulls away from me, I usually let them go..It could be Gods protection, so I don’t chase someone that’s not meant for me.

[morganwhite]

If you’re with someone and you have so much to worry about with them, they are the wrong one.

[sundancerday]

What a timing! This morning I decided to screw my anxiety of getting hurt, because that is the exact reason I chase men away...every Person is different and deserves a fresh start, a chance without being mistrusted because of previous bad experiences. We need to start being vulnerable again, without that we're only left with fake relationships wih two pretenders...😢