When Hogwarts Gets Audited

[testedhawk]

"So what's this about keeping a three-headed dog that kills anyone who walks into the wrong room?"

[meaganwebb]

"Ok, so, that forest is forbidden? Is there anything you do to enforce that...? You actively send kids in there for detention. With a trained professor, right? With your caretaker and groundskeeper..."

[dakodabarr]

Funnily enough, Hagrid’s hut is arguably a lot safer than the castle itself.

[themole]

Obviously Hogwarts cares about its students safety. That’s why they need their parent’s permission to go visit their local sweet shop.

[jadenkelly]

For real, there is so much shady shit that goes on that, without context, is strange at best, and criminal at worst lol

[katier]

Other safety violations:
-the moving staircases
-the three-headed dog that protects a trapdoor which contains an evil plant
-EVERYTHING about Quidditch
-the nearby forests full of murderous and worse creatures
-that one time actual incarnations of despair and death were stationed all over the place
The list goes on...

[chloelam]

“So who is the Moaning Mertle?”
“She’s a girl that haunts a bathroom, got it.”
“Wait, haunts, as in she died and is a ghost?”

[aff]

To be fair, hagrid and McGonagall are like the only trustworthy adults in the wuole damn school

[kkgrindstaff]

The “it’s always the ones you trust” gets me ever time
I’m dying😂

[cbird]

Just wait until he gets to the moving staircase. That thing is a lawsuit waiting to happen

[ArchieRatsworth]

"The grounds keeper would not be allowed here if he wasn't trustworthy."
"Explain Flitch."
"....he has tenure."

[filoni]

I reckon wizards were just like, “oh, we can heal pretty much any wound instantaneously? Ok, safety can go out the window we don’t give a shit if kids get every bone broken.”

[gobbledygook]

I love imagining him being a muggle too and not knowing what the f is going on with half of these things

[priyan]

'The only thing that should not be named here is the fine I'm about to give you guys'
Lmaooo

[imsweetchaos]

The dead, hopeless eyes right at the beginning when you say “should be fun” is VERY on brand for health inspectors.

[Nikusarusan]

honestly would love to read a series about a Magical Occupational Health and Safety Inspector just doing his job

[FullMoonOctober]

No wonder PTA dad Lucius Malfoy kept trying to get Dumbledore replaced as Headmaster--he was tired of hearing about all the negligent stuff his son was telling him about.

[mimimurlough]

"Oh, so you did have safety measures when there was a killer on the loose?

... the safety measure was what now?"

[FearsomeLAG]

Safety audit guy: "Died", subtitles: "Been put into a permanent sleep".

[tahraethestoryteller]

Lupin wasn’t evil
He did everything in his power to make sure his wolf form didn’t hurt anyone