11th Century; Love and Sex

In the modern world, being in love with someone is always connected up with the idea of having (or wanting to have) sex with them eventually. The Troubadours of 11th century Provence, influenced by Plato, had a very different idea: for them love was independent of sex or indeed marriage.

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[TheYafaShow]

Two blood cells met, became platonic friends and shortly fell in love.
But alas it was all in vein.

[emperorjustinianIII]

I just have to say: the comment section is abnormally kind here and you deserve all the credit. Why doesn't other youtube channels have such a nice and friendly comment section?

[juancasinisterra]

In my eyes this girl is quite charismatic. She could do a whole video on toothpicks and still be interesting. Good job!

[chris]

Ahhh so this is what I felt when I interacted with this one girl I didn’t find ugly or pretty. Something about how we could interact and talk was so platonic. I miss the deep conversations we would have about our existence and non existence. The spacing of our reunions made it that much more special. We both were and are bothered by thinking we know what life and death is yet not really knowing. Human existential concepts like ego, masculinity could never destroy the bond we had because this wasn’t a bond with the purpose to reproduce a strong healthy human being but rather a bond of the mind and spirit without ever desiring to be sexual with each other. One can easily understand why some might call it a more sacred connection. Perversion of the body never enters the 2 minds.

[KilgoreTroutAsf]

The idea of romantic love leading to marriage is a very modern one. For most of history marriage was an economic institution which more often than not was arranged by the parents.

[dulceg]

Being asexual, platonic love is the ideal for me personally.

[ericatard]

Help me, please.
Met this guy on the internet. We're very platonic, but we're getting closer to "that step", uncontrollably. We used to say "i love you platonically", but now we just say "i love you". We have also started calling ourselves "bebe" and "bunny".

[susanboyd]

It's an interesting concept, but to me it feels more like a selfish love. A love where you idolize someone, but are never truly there for them because if you were, you'd dirty your perfect image of them. It's more about the person in love with the other than it is about loving that person.

[GabrielM]

Wouldn't it be correct to assume that platonic love has more connection to friendship or family love instead of a romantic one? I understand that love leading to marriage is a relative new concept, but in the middle ages people had lovers and they slept with them even being married. I sometimes face platonic love as immense admiration. It's tricky.

[celery]

Great video! Do you mind doing one on how the perceptions and expectations of romantic love in the modern day has been shaped by Hollywood and similar cultural influences?

[brunosamarques]

Poetic minds still dive into platonic relationships, sometimes even with sex the romantic intensity is maintained by keeping the relationship separated from the acidic trivialities of social reality.

[avelmira]

Sounds like Troubadour's love is more like they are in love with the notion of being in love.  That sounds like me when I was in high school admiring someone from afar.  There is nothing realistic about this love if you don't love someone for their flaws as well as their superficiality.  There is absolutely something to be said about a long time marriage or seeing two elderly couples who have been together for eons and still more in love with each other than ever.  I'd rather be involved with the latter, more mature and deep love with someone than simply with someone who is in love with the idea of love and going through the (admittedly sensual high) of the motion of being in love.  

You can definitely achieve the deeper love with the same intensity as the Troubadour's love after you've been married for a while... simply having your own life and doing your own thing - taking a trip away from your love once in a while as absence does make a heart grow fonder.  During the time apart, simply reflect and appreciate your love.  The intensity of that love is no longer superficial.

[dalanium]

Great video! This is how I feel about school crushes. They are seen, maybe at a distance, and spared the contact of life at home, so they're more exotic somehow-more desirable because of scarcity and distance.

[james]

Intelligent, classy, gorgeous - and that voice! The School of Life channel was great, but Em's made it even better.

[satoshinakamoto]

I feel like the sort of love being discussed here is usually the self-ideal kind of love. It's self-absorbed or tied to one's personal views of another person. It's a view that may or may not accurately reflect the other person, but I don't think views can ever capture a person. Not that being self-absorbed is a terrible thing, I think it's also important. Love or attachment is a strange, complex thing. Does doing what is "best" for someone you love mean doing things according to your emotions or choosing actions that would lead to the outcome of you not getting hurt, or doing things according to your personal idea of "best for them", or perhaps just simply trying to understanding what "best" means to the other person and then acting upon it? Whose emotions and ideas matter more in love?

[fletchervarnson]

This video explains how I want my relationships to be, yet everyone is after sex, leaving me with no one to get to admire

[Sir_Irwin]

You should totally make an audiobook girl, it would be a smash hit. :-) <3

[alfsaav]

I don't know who said this exactly, perhaps was the Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho, he said that there are two types of love, the one that you end up for the rest of your life and the other one is the one that that some how never happened, the one you always wanted to be with, but it never was. I love the idea of having a love that never happened, an unfinished type of love, a love that more than the person itself, is in fact, only the protection or appetite one has.. In a way, a reflection of oneself.

[stalker]

I am in platonic love with this girl xD

[grimmankou]

thanks for the better production quality - the videos now are in the quality as your other work and i can finally press the "like" :-)