Social Exclusion in the Workplace - Jane O'Reilly, PhD at Imagine Your Workplace Conference

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Lightning Talk Session:
Not-So Social at Work
Jane O’Reilly, PhD
Assistant Professor, Telfer School of Management – University of Ottawa

Summary:
What happens when an employee feels excluded from the social circle at work? While it is perhaps easy to recognize that being harassed or belittled is a psychologically painful experience, we often assume that ‘simply’ being left out is, at least in a comparative sense, innocuous. In some cases, the negative impact of social exclusion is even worse than the outcomes associated with harassment. In this talk, I will discuss a growing body of research including the nature, incidence, and impact of social exclusion, as well as management strategies for limiting its existence.

Dr. O’Reilly is an Assistant Professor in the area of organizational behaviour and human resource management at the Telfer School of Management, University of Ottawa. Her leading-edge research examines informal workplace interactions and relationships. Dr. O’Reilly has committed most of her time studying the incidence and impact of workplace mistreatment for over eight years, and her work is published in leading peer-reviewed management journals.

[tutsecret]

Why you think that many of us don't want to go to work, not because of the work task, but because of people.

[goodgracious]

It's emotionally damaging and mentally frustrating because no one has the guts to tell you why they are ignoring or excluding you. And when you ask, they look at you crazy and say they don't know what you're talking about! Adults in the workplace can act worse than covert high school bullies!

[SugarMakesMePOP]

I am current experience this. It's frustrating because it is so subtle, no one else but me notices it and it is very emotionally draining :(

[godsnobody]

If any of this has happened to you, it's intentional. It is not your imagination. People are really doing it to you...and usually your superiors are in on it. And yes...some people are that wicked to others.

[tracivela]

I am so very sorry for all of you who have suffered from this undeserved, unprofessional, ill treatment. I have been treated like this from 90% of my jobs and I have been working for 30 years. Unfortunately I am going through this, again, in my current position. I have "dealt " with it for 8 months....and it is litterally making me sick. I wish all companies would make it manditory for all their people to take classes on this and bullying in the workplace. Maybe that would change some attitudes / behaviors for the better.

[pinayautismmominnewyork]

I have experienced all three example scenarios by Ms. O'Reilly. It was horrible! Why is it so easy for some people to humiliate, sabotage, and harass someone intentionally. Workplace mobbing can kill your spirit. Hugs to all of you who are victims of this crime!

[marlinabasir]

Hearing this while on the way home from work..i have tears in my eyes.Trying to cope.its been two months and im still lonely.

[Crystalriverblue]

I recently left a job where this was one of the main reasons. I really hope I do not have to experience this again...it was horrible.

[falks]

I know this video is a few years old but I am so grateful to this lady. I’ve spent months going around in circles in my head, feeling like I’m imagining the issues and the behaviour that I’ve experienced from three of my colleagues, and being able to identify with how this woman perfectly describes this situation has finally broken that cycle. Even if the workplace doesn’t improve, I’ve stopped blaming and second-guessing myself in this toxic environment, and that is a huge success.

[marlinabasir]

I'm new and I've just started 3 weeks.Things are so different than what I saw initially.I lunch alone and do everything alone.No one cares or asks anything.I try my best to hold back my tears and just work.I pretend to smile and be nice.The only time i was truly happy was when i chatted with the cleaners.They are so warm.i keep running to my bf after work for some comfort.I don't know how long i can hold out.i keep saying short prayers just to be able to get through the day.if anyone sees tis, pls say something.I'm alone right now just thinking about things...

[datnohi]

Sad to treat people like this. That is why I'm looking for work from home opportunities

[paulaluz]

I’m experiencing this rn in the office, but I like the benefits of the company and salary, so I think I’ll stay. I’ll be a loner and eat by myself knowing I have money to spend on vacation. Umm fuck them all with their stuck up bitchy attitude. I’m not going to stress myself out anymore with their high school bully bullshit! We got this guys! With God’s guidance I’ll make it thru each day 🙏 I won’t let their misery get me down. I choose to be happy and happiness and positivity shall be with me! ❤

[JReed]

I know how it feels to be socially rejected at work, I'm still not over that trauma, mainly because of other factors regarding one former work colleague who really got to me. Because of that trauma, I don't make the effort to make friends at work. I'm only polite and friendly, but I won't take part in any conversations, I'm always engaged with my work and am there to get it done and get paid.

[zurigonzalez]

I quit my job without notice recently. This video has opened my eyes. I thought I was just crazy and it was all in my head but I hated waking up every day knowing I was about to be around people that didn't acknowledge me much and felt tense around. I always felt people annoyed at me cause I'm a little weird I guess. Lol

[ArtC]

Being excluded is so hurtful. Needed to see this .

[IWearShaqs]

I am experiencing this. It's brutal. Worse than any confrontation I've had.

[miameow]

This is the "read the room" mentality. Some people exclude someone and others notice and copy the same behavior so it won't happen to them.

[recreation]

At my work they exclude me but need me because of my tech skills, such a weird relationship...

[xdproductions]

Exclusion is definitely worse than overt harassment. The latter is much easier to respond and react to whereas the former is purposely done in a subtle way and is often hard to prove

[kalicoop]

I experienced this and it was very hurtful. My department would have a meeting before I got to my desk. When I did get to my desk, my boss continued with the meeting with his back facing me. Everytime I tried to have a conversation with him, he would always ignore me. Workplace bullying is very real. I made the best decision to leave when I did😁