My wife left me for 3 months and recently begged me to take her back.

My wife left me for 3 months and recently begged me to take her back.

#reddit #redditupdate #redditrelationship -------------------------------------
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[jaidenkoch]

So basically she treated him liked a servant for years because of the depression, he did everything he could for her but when her therapist suggests that he is the cause of the depression she leaves and the op realises how bad it was and now she wants to come back?

[aboszor]

As OP said, it's super early days, but I'm glad she's working on herself, and I hope it works out for the both of them. And if this really is just a fluke, then he has an out. Either way, this was handled well. Let's hope for the best.

[MJyoung]

I don't think hes an idiot for giving his wife a chance to make things better. I think he'd be an idiot if she fails and he decides to give her more chances. This relationship seems salvageable and you can tell there love there

[dachless]

Its nice to see healthy communication come out of a reddit relationship advice story. I'm cheering for those two. The one part about the story that irks me though is when everyone was telling op "You *OWE* it to her to let her come back." OP didnt owe her anything else, he did everything for a long 6 and a half years and the thanks he got was her abandoning the relationship for three months. I'm glad he did let her back into his life, but he 100% did NOT OWE her that pleasure.

[kerlarkdgrayman]

As a depressed person, just staying in the room/ house for a long time is just a poison for the body, mind, and soul.
So I kind of understand why the wife doesn't feel like moving much. It feels like shit, awful, and heavy. But for me, there's my college assignment as a distraction.

Still, I'm glad that they are able to make an agreement to each other. Hoping for a wonderful update in a few months/years

[catanmeowmeow]

I can see how irrational and unhealthy this all seems, but as someone who has been struggling with depression for a past decade, i somehow understand both sides. I'm glad they are trying to work things out. This definitely won't be an easy journey, but wishing them only the best of luck !

[JensMorrison]

"You have to get a part time job. I don't care what it is."

"NOT. A. STRIPPER."

[Better_Call_Bulba-Saur]

One's an enabler and the other a passive abuser. I hope he makes an update so we can at least get an idea whether dynamics like this can change for the better or just bound to fall back into place again.

[AndreDemon]

She spent 6 years, YEARS, doing nothing. I was also depressed in the pandemic, when all my family and friends got away from me due to some issues, but one year later I was the happiest of my life. If she just lays in bed all day, an empty mind is devil's office. He deserves much better. If the family says "isn't always nice to be married" maybe he should have talked to them more about how was his life

[bazzascott]

Not only did she make him her personal slave and emotional wailing wall, she made him feel like he was nothing without her.

[GuacamoleKun]

So she was aware, she watched him struggle every day for 7 years and she never did anything, never lifted a finger for the man she loved and for the health of her relationship? I don't know man.

[leskthedesk]

She left OP after having him stick through all her worries and problems, cutting him off from everyone he knew and any relief he could ever get.

The moment where you have a flip-flop and crawl back to repair a "mistake" you did to your SO, you can't expect to just get back with no consequences.

[garetjax]

I don't think OP is an idiot for taking her back the way he did. While taking her back is certainly a risk, I respect his willingness to expose himself to that risk in order to help uplift someone he loves. But, to be clear, I certainly wouldn't have blamed him if he hadn't. I really do hope this end up working out well for both of them.

[aerodynamichotdog]

He tried for 7 years to make it work. He doesn't owe her a second more.

[danialdirty]

good on OP to set boundaries, he basically said i'll take you back if you do this, and this, and this, and this first no more excuses. he gave her a chance but he is playing it safe at the same time. good for him.

[tiptopflipflop]

I pray that these two can work it out and live a happy life together.

[heatea]

He felt so good when he was alone but somehow decided to take her back. Sad

[darthmadeus]

If anyone ever leaves, open the door for them and shut and lock it behind them. They don't value you and you shouldn't waste any time or thought on them because they clearly did not ever do the same for you. And never take them back, nor give them the time of day. They'll be better for a short time, but they'll eventually fall back into old habits. Learned this from lots of experience.

[alejandroc]

This sounds annoying more than anything. I feel like him going out of his way to help her just enabled her even more

[piyushguptaji]

Swear to God is always the ladies taking everything for granted in the relationship and when the guy has enough they suddenly realise their worth 💀😭