HOW TO SET AND KEEP BOUNDARIES WITH A NARCISSIST: 6 KEYS

Rather than forcing the narcissist to be different, setting boundaries means you will act upon your good sense regardless of the other person's difficulties. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter identifies how narcissists commonly blur boundaries and offers 6 keys for you to establish your own distinct identity.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist with 38 years experience. Hi has conducted many workshops and over 60,000 counseling sessions. He lives and practices in the Dallas, Tx. area.

We receive commissions on referrals to BetterHelp. We only recommend services that we trust.

[tessdog]

A wise man once told me, "Don't bother explaining. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe it anyway."

[lorrainemiller]

Why did the narcissist cross the because he thought it was a boundary, lol. Saw this joke about narcissists and love it

[gwendolynwehage]

I found that I can't even tell my narcissists about my activities. They tend to judge all my plans as silly as though nothing I do is acceptable. I have learned to enjoy my plans without sharing them with people that are not kind loving people. I no longer ignore my plans I simply go ahead and leave them out of them. It makes no sense to share with people who we know are going to try to ruin our joy.

[TopgunB]

This is what I have learned to do concerning dealing with narcissistic personality disorder.
1. Know that they will not accept any logical argument that they are wrong.
2. They are experts at twisting reality to fit their view and make you doubt yourself. Be aware it is like an illness that you cannot fix or cure.
3.Be yourself and never react or get upset--they love it, they thrive on it, they feed on control and conflict.
4. Remain calm no matter what. Concentrate on changing your emotion from anger to pity. Remind yourself that they are sick and deluded-- see them the same way as you would see someone with a major physical illness.
5. Set calm rock solid boundaries. Show them that you are supremely confident in your conviction. Do not enter into debate it will just upset you and you will get nowhere. Kill debate with "Lets agree to disagree" showing them you are unflappable, and cannot be manipulated.
6. Winning is retaining your peace of mind and sense of self. It is not changing the narcissist's behaviour beliefs or actions in any way, or getting revenge. You cannot fight darkness with darkness. You cannot make them suffer but know that they suffer continually, they seldom have peace of mind. It is exhausting and unfulfilling making so many external things essential to their happiness. It is un-sustainable.
7. If possible cut them out of your life.

[TheMostITP]

Whenever possible, no contact is the best way to deal with narcissists.

[bennylane]

There's so much narcissism, apparently, that solitude becomes the healthiest choice. I'm glad I've always liked my own company.

[JDubeta]

"Healthy boundaries means you have a very strong self definition for who you are, and you're going to stay with it, and when that other person tries to tell you who you are, it's like 'Sorry, that's not your's to claim.'" ... GOLDEN 👌🏼

[SheLikesSteel]

Narcissists are all about boundaries...they have all sorts of boundaries that you are not to cross. One great example is that you must expect nothing from him or her. Expressing needs, requirements, or expectations to a narcissist will result in an ugly reaction. The reverse is true, as you say, nothing is off limits to a narcissist.

[delicatelace]

I love the way Dr Carter speaks. He speaks gently, and of course the lovely southern accent,
is soothing. He delivers this really difficult topic in a gentle, but very powerful way. He does not
hide the cruel facts. He has helped me to understand a man that I have lived with for 20 years,
in a way, that I never under stood before. Thank you Dr Carter.

[Libra_Girl.]

You can't look at interactions with them
as a relationship. In their mind we exist to
make them happy and to fulfill whatever
expectations they have. We're not people
to them, we're more like toys and appliances.

[kristinalowe]

Thank you for these videos because I no longer feel crazy. After 20 years with my Narcissist husband, I feel free!!

[vansonia]

AVOID THEM AT ALL COST no contact is the best way... before it is too late

[butterflymagicwithhottea]

Watching your videos has become very important to my wellness. Just want you to know that I truly appreciate you sharing how to identify, interpret and deal with narcissism. Thank you

[zuhuranjeri]

I feel drained, my energy sucked tired anxious

[Дора-вя]

Emotional detachment is the main thing, just imagine that you live with a stranger who you need to tolerate and think about future happy new life without him. You will feel such a relief.

[flamingowen]

the problem with narcissist is that they are constantly trying to keep you off balance and twisting things so even if you are confident about who you are and your boundaries, they will throw some bizarre, f'd up concept into the mix. they are brilliant and throwing people off and shaking them up. NO CONTACT if possible.

[brigidmahon]

Serve me, serve me, serve me more. You never do anything. I I I I

[carolentringer]

1. Each person is unique.
2. Define the characteristics you want to have.
3. Be open and clear about who you are.
4. Match your behavior with those beliefs.
5. When challenged, don't defend.
6. Practice emotional detachment from narcissist's opinions.

[ceebee]

Narcissists hate boundaries and can't accept "no" as an answer.

[iw]

Narcs and alcoholics have a lot of the same traits.