'I have no friends': 3 steps to dealing with the pain of loneliness

I was just walking around the beaches of Beaumaris in Melbourne and felt a little sad. The reason was that I saw groups of people having fun, and then I came across someone sitting all alone.

It reminded me of the pain I used to experience of not having friends.

I thought for a moment about this and realized that the answer to not having friends isn't to try and socialize more.

Instead, it's to use the pain of not having friends and feeling lonely to think a little more deeply about who you are. Then it's about building a life not so focused on yourself.

Paradoxically this is what brings people into your life.

If you find this an interesting path to consider (and it's what has worked for me), then I invite you to consider the three steps I share in this video.

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[JuanCruzFabi]

"Loneliness doesn’t come from not having people around - Loneliness comes when the people around you don’t understand who you are on a very deep level" I felt that

[rosenjoroge]

Problem is that most lonely people are empathetic and actually go to lenghs to help people but usually when they need the same people even for a simple thing like talking or sharing your thoughts they hardly show up.

[bp.pradhan]

The pain is not about having no friends but it's not having anybody to talk with and express your feelings with.

[Charlotte]

I liked being alone because I’m an introvert but now it is so painful it hurts. When I see groups of people or families having fun in public I wish I had that

[krs]

Without true friends everyday life becomes more lonely and depressed.

[Jehannum]

Trouble is, after a long time without socialising you become set in your ways and it's even harder to make friends.

[lanathorne]

Honestly, I recently tried hanging out with people. It was a nightmare, so much drama and the people were emotionally draining. I came to the conclusion that it’s better to be alone than allow that kind of negativity into my life. Never again.

[No-Thing-]

It just hurts extremely when you have no friends, family, or partner. No one to ever talk to or support you…

[kavyarana]

Why can't we all loners create one grp and talk to each other ???

[Polski_Kiwi]

I've spent most of my life alone so I'm pretty much used to having no friends

[therealraven]

I’ve learned to be alone along life’s path. My parents left me alone, my brother, my sister, and the rest of my family. I’ve had good life long friends but nothing is permanent. People have their own lives and then get distant or move away. You need to love yourself enough to be alone. We’re born alone and we die alone. I’ve made peace with that.

[endertoa]

I'm so sick and tired of being alone. I keep coming back to watch this video, because when I watch it, its like my emotions reflect within me. I want to vent somewhere, to someone. But I can't. So here I am.

I have no friends and I have never had any true friends.

I don't want to waste my youth by sitting cooped up in my flat, watching movies all by my self. Films are my go to when I feel alone, its like dipping my finger inside a Peanut Butter jar, but knowing I will never truly have it. Its the only taste of feeling what relationships could feel like to me. It feels like I have tried everything. Improving social skills, going to a mental health club, talking to a therapist, etc.

None of that helped. NONE.

I need to hold someone. I want hugs. I want to laugh with someone. But I have no one. I want to lay my head on someone's shoulder...but there's no one. I have cried so much about it, I can't even cry anymore. It feels like my life has no meaning.

Is someone out there for me? I keep on hoping...but by each passing year nothing changes. I would do anything for real friendship or companionship at this stage. It feels like I am continually reaching out into an empty void of nothingness.

So thats it. My heart cut and splayed in front of whoever's reading this, if anyone. <3

[sreerags]

Its better to be alone than being surrounded by a bunch of fake friends!😊

[michaeltempest]

I also have no friends. I have depression n anxiety so its difficult. I would like to have friends tho.

[sarahgt]

I decluttered my life of anyone who used me when it suited them or didn't bring happiness or value to my life. I went through the loneliness and came out much happier. It's about being happy with yourself. Times like Christmas and bonfire night where people get together can be tough but I get through it by doing special treats for myself like a candle lit bath or chocolates and a film. I have cats with whom I cuddle and they keep me company. I'm not keen on people.

[The_Spiritual_soul]

There are people who think that someone with no friends must have something wrong with them. Insecure. Awkward. Sad. Depressed. No social skills. Rude. Bossy. Bad friend. That's a very ignorant belief.
I respect those with no friends because it can mean they chose to not accept bad friends or fair weather friends, and decided no friends is better than bad friends.
I currently don't have close friends. None. I have aquaintances. People you talk to once in a while, but not someone you can call if you lose someone or are heartbroken, or even if you run out of gas or are in the hospital

[Dataisthetruth]

Haven’t had friends since middle school. I had one friend in high school, but he stopped keeping in contact. I told myself I would stop chasing people. I would stop begging them to be in my life. I am working on being with myself. I never had comfort in myself and that is a big reason for my social anxiety. I’m working on building a life outside of my house. If I meet people, then that is awesome. If not, I’m ok with that too.

[snowhtoo]

I feel more lonely around people... Thats why i rather not have friends

[daniellehalo]

Seeing all these people here who relate, helps me not feel as lonely.

[maria-lclv]

“Loneliness doesn’t come from not having people around - Loneliness comes when the people around you don’t understand who you are on a very deep level.” That one hit hard 🥸


Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏻