What Does A Real Man Look Like? | Paging Dr. NerdLove

Men feel immense pressure to look a particular way and they're breaking themselves, physically and psychically to try to get to reach those ideals.

As bodies are marketed to us as products and men are sold self-loathing, we have to ask: what does a REAL man look like?

//SHOW HIGHLIGHTS://

▶︎ How male celebrities are getting the body-shaming treatment from the media

▶︎ Why the idea of what makes a "real" man is always in flux

▶︎ How the "perfect" body has changed over time

▶︎ What men get wrong about trying to achieve the perfect body

▶︎ Why there's no body positivity movement for men

...and so much more.

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Intro Music:
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

[cassandrafield]

Your question on Facebook got my curiosity up, so I asked my husband who his first fictional crush was. With all the super-sexualized female characters out there, I was kind of surprised by his answer. It was Mrs. Brisby from The Secret of NIMH.

[ricktator]

Some depictions of James Bond, especially Connery and Brosnan are good examples imo

[peggyliepmann]

One thing I found very interesting was The Body Shapes Of The World’s Best Athletes Compared Side By Side
. Look at the weightlifters versus the long distance runners vs the gymnasts. Totally different body types, while still being ridiculously powerful athletes.


I'm not very tall, and I'm stocky. I will never be tiny, not unless I starve myself, which I'm not gonna do. Yes, I wanna lose some weight and burn off some fat, but my main goal is to build muscles. That's just how it goes.

[sylphs]

Hey, Doc, WTF???? MY first ACTUAL visual crush was Disney's Robin Hood (yes, the fox)!!! Even now, everytime I look at him I think "Oh, God, he is so handsome", (yes, I'm perfectly aware this is psychiatrist material). Did someone actually told you the same, or are you just messing around?

[tonysladky]

Damn, that was a long summary of The Matrix without ever once using the word "machine". That's a weird sort of impressive.

[CatHasOpinions]

I feel like beards are less like a push-up bra and more like a perfect cat-eye: the opposite sex sees it and thinks "hey, that looks cool", the same sex sees it and thinks "You have made art on your face and I salute you."

[BurningQuranDay]

My body type ideals isn't from a celebrity and isn't the result of an untenable fitness regiment because it's from my own brother, and it's as far as I can tell all a result of sports (acrobatics, climbing, …), not bodybuilding, he has no specific regime, or working routine, or anything. He has a V-shaped torso, lithe but very muscled, absolutely gorgeous build. I'd love to look like this because I think it looks awesome and I think it would make me more confident. I also know it would required physical efforts I'm not ready to spend on this though ^^'.

[NCapo]

Can you link to some resources or communities you've found for male body positivity?

[shreyaskrishnaswamy]

Not really mentioned in the video but just gonna put it out there, theres a reason for the saying "clothes make the man". consider your wardrobe gents, well fitted clothes are an absolute boon :)

[PassiveNights]

I’ve literally never met a muscled ‘Chad’ type. The people I know are skinny hipsters, skinny punks, or just chubby geeks. They all get laid. Most women I know are happy with that, and often prefer androgynous dudes or chubby nerds.

[mooreanonumbers]

Royce Gracie dominated MMA for a decade while looking like a random shy guy from accounting. Male physical strength doesn't look like a specific standard.

[Kumimono]

I stereo'd that "in the mirror" part. Good video. :)

[lukeveraldi]

Aesthetics don't matter, health does

[RiverOfWetness]

The earliest celebrity crush I can remember having was Emma Stone in "Superbad". It helps that the year I saw that movie, I had a CIT at summer camp who I had an even bigger crush on.

[mationplays]

Thank You for your Videos they are a really good alternative to these PUAs

[DavidW-ngzv]

I'm almost 28 but I don't consider myself a man, YET...

Still a long way to go.

[alexpressley]

I don't care to look like ideals. I just wanna look and be healthy, feel good internally and externally. however, I work IT and like to drink.

[MerchManDan]

I recently returned to my gym after a long absence. Paid for a few sessions with a personal trainer, working on changing some eating habits, etc. Not for my health, though that's what I tell people. I'm doing this because I want women to be more attracted to me. I want women to see me as a sexy guy whom they want to have sex with. And I don't care if it's wrong, I don't care if the whole world thinks that I'm the bad guy for wanting that.
I need to do this. I'm going to die alone if I don't do this.

[cezarybaryka]

I don’t think I’ve ever had a fictional character crush

[robvan]

First Fictional Crush: Sarah Michelle Gellar as "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" :-D I had pictures of her from a Cruel Intentions calendar plastered all over the walls of my 12-14yo room.. I think the appeal was A.) Phenomenal B.) Badassery C.) Intellectual D.) Physical.. She was the cool and calm demon killer with a cute smile, sense of adventure, and interest in 'forbidden knowledge'.. All a very hot combination in my mind.. lol Runner-up was fictional character Xena, for the exact same reasons except I liked the supernatural appeal of Buffy just a bit more than the more robust and tangible sexiness of Xena :P If I were to reduce the attraction to pure physicality then I think Xena would be first followed by Buffy.. How does that translate to my 33yo self? I like the cool, calm, collected notion of an intellectual woman with a mind for phenomenology/spirituality and a sense for the sort of badassery that has manifestations of.. slaying demons. Lol