How to Start to Find Purpose in Your Life

▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Preview
00:12 - Reddit Post
04:39 - Fluctuations of the mind
10:23 - Can you be content without fulfilling desires?
14:28 - What axis are you chasing? (detachment)
21:06 - Questions

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[anamariabolo]

Please reconsider the editing. Dr K's pauses were very strategic and important for you to think about what he was saying. This is complex content, there is no use to it being delivered in a fast-paced streamline of information because you actually have to reflect on it for it to make sense. It's not jokes or random rants or easy to digest, so it being slower-paced actually helped understanding what was being said. These cuts make no sense and take away the value of what Dr K is trying to say. Before, it actually felt like someone was talking to you.

[albertosara]

"i don't need perfect, i am happy with good enough"

words to live by, truly

[ZTRCTGuy]

Actually, I worked as a dishwasher for almost 10 years, a side job but nonetheless a job that a lot of people wouldn't enjoy doing. Thing is, even in these kind of jobs you might be able to find things that give you a little dopamine hit, talking and joking about with the cooks, the satisfaction you get when everything is clean and neatly organised on shelves.

Getting dopamine all the time is gonna make you numb for it, having bad times make the good times so much better.

[senbofps]

"The man who loves walking will walk further than the man who loves the destination. When you love the journey, the goals just happen, you hit milestones as a side effect."

[Dxntoo]

This video basically sums up Seneca's words: “We suffer more in our imagination more often than in reality.”

[ButthurtNinja]

I hope Dr. K knows how much videos like these help people like me. I feel like every time he uploads, there's always something I can pull something away from it and make my day better. I was feeling anxious at my new job so on my lunch break I watched one of the videos as a little mid day therapy session and it helped my mood for the rest of the work day.
Keep up the good stuff, you're helping so many.

[thelaw]

This has been one of my biggest issues my entire life (I’m 27), because of BPD and ADHD. Most days, I just want to lay in bed all day and be messy but it’s a miserable existence. Working sucks, not working is equally as stressful and sucks.

[quiet_shy]

It's surprising how many people don't realise that their feelings come from themselves. The most useful thing someone once said to me which completely turned my thinking around was "you do this to yourself". I still have this phrase in my mind when I have a strong reaction to anything in life.

[fjordfjesta]

"Stop eating your favorite food for a decade"
I tested positive for an allergy to chocolate (along with many other foods) when I was 2 or 3 years old, and that lasted until I was 12 or 13. Not necessarily my favorite food, but something I enjoyed immensely and that as a kid was pretty central to "kid" life. I became really good at telling myself "no" because I also knew that I'd get sick if I ate it. Literally "that's not for you, move along" was my inner mantra for that (and many other things I was unable to do because of chronic illness/asthma/allergies).

Strangely enough, now I am in therapy actively working on advocating for myself more, and more actively pursuing the things that I do want in life, or that will bring a greater sense of fulfillment. While I can be good in persevering in difficult situations/circumstances and making the best of things, I lack a certain amount of agency to check in with myself and say "Hey, this is a crap situation, I should speak up for myself or seek out something else" because it's easy to disconnect (or just dissociate) and "get through" things that are difficult and uncomfortable day after day, even if that leads to stagnation.

[misslayer]

"A wandering mind is an unhappy mind..." I follow neuroscience closely and there's actually been multiple studies that show this is true. When you're focused on the task at hand, even if it's not something you particularly enjoy, you're much more content than if your mind is elsewhere. Even if you're thinking about positive things or good times, doesn't matter. We're happier when we're in the present moment regardless of what we're doing in that moment. This is why meditation is good for us:)

[gwynnemush]

I’ve been suffering from burnout lately and it’s also aggravated by anxiety. I work as a medic and I’m always conscious about what people will think of me. My greatest fear is to become a failure to others. After seeing this video, I realised I need to reexamine my own thoughts and understand how I respond to them. It’ll take a lot of practice because there’s always the tendency to fall back to what my mind is used to/the default mode

[porcupethcrumpets]

peace is achieved when your mind doesn't fluctuate
when you're bored, you start thinking about different things. That is lack of peace of mind
satisfying your desire each time will give you temporary peace before you desire something else
14:02
pleasurable actions/jobs won't give you peace.
begin to practice ignoring your desires. fight against your mind and then it'll stop.
17:30-18:31
19:08-20:14

[Pepius_Julius_Magnus_Maximu...]

Interesting, I'm autistic and I find engaging in my special interests everyday after work is essential. Going to bed satisfied with my special interests practically guarantees a state of flow and meaning throughout the whole day. I mean, I've been thinking about death lately and I've realized I'm not even afraid of dying anymore, I feel like I've found meaning and lived what there is to live by engaging with my special interests. For context I'm 25, highly functional, and I've been like this for about a whole year.

[MultiTripleRainbow]

As someone with ADHD, I tried to detach myself from work for the last week or so. To not chase fluctuations of the mind. But I just ended up doing zero work several days in a row. Just staring at the screen for hours on end.

It did give me a lot of insight into what I do not enjoy about my work and what I was feeling. It also made me feel a lot less bad about the idea of switching jobs. But I don't think detachment works very well for someone with ADHD, at least not in the long term. When I detach myself from fluctuations of the mind I have nothing that drives me towards work. I can sit there for days on end and do absolutely nothing. More creative solutions tend to work a lot better. Trying to work with myself instead of trying to control my mind directly.

[paintlgz]

I resonate so much with this person. I have gone through far too much post secondary education to find what it is I want to do with my life. I don't think this person is looking for work that is "fun" but "enjoyable." I've had jobs that range from part time entry level to full time professional and all of them have made me absolutely miserable, leaving work every day muttering "I fucking hate my job I hate my life I'm quitting." It's been a lifelong struggle trying to find fulfillment and happiness in my work.

[jenniferwilson]

I feel overwhelmed with being not good enough so I've strayed from watching uploads recently, but still wanted to say thanks for always being there to support the people's mental !

[xuchilbara]

i think one of the biggest problems in our generation is the catastrophy of the comming future and it's complexity. technically our body should only be afraid of starving or being attacked by a predator. things i would classify as "real natural fears". but we are also burdened with the classical problems of modern civilisation, that i would describe as "abstract fear" like taking care of financial problems, paying of a mortgage etc. Our brain has big problems to deal with such fears because they are very complex and require hard planing and discipline to be solved. i can't just strike my bills aggressively with a blade and make my problems go away, i need to make a gameplan about EVERYTHING in my life so there is no real time to relax. even if i got a well paying job, i can still lose it ANYTIME (like at the pandemic). I already have to think how im going to pay off certain things in the next 20 years etc. Our modern life and all the bureaucracy is just to much for our monkey brain

[Reinturtle]

Whoever is making these thumbnails definitely deserves a raise. They somehow find a way to visualize every possible title!

[lemmings]

I would say I am pretty healthy, I have a sense of purpose in my life and I usually wake up happy and motivated. But I also see how my world is changing over time. I grew up in the countryside with little to no external stimuli, I walked the dogs, cuddled the cows and was always very connected to nature. When I had ideas I was able to find the space to follow through with them. I was able to build an agility Parcour for the dogs and a treehouse and swings from which you could jump into the river and so on… now as an adult living in the city I feel so limited by redundant laws that make human creativity and connection impossible, so many ideas die because of bureaucracy. I also see that so many of my friends are struggling so hard with their bodies and seeking sexual encounters that don’t make them happy. I feel like we are all collectively lost and it’s so weird being the one asking people to come and join a canoe/hiking/whatever trip but people cancel on me because they want to binge watch YouTube videos and feel miserable.

[JamieR]

I experienced detachtment in my study abroad in Vancouver. 1h meditation session daily every morning before classes. After about a month everything became interesting. Life just got additional layers added to them. Playing video games wasn't exciting because everything else had so much detail and enrichment. Sitting in class became incredibly fun and engaging. While prior, my entire bachelor was me squirming in my seat, because it was impossible to sit still due to screen addiction. Reducing tech, screen time, superstimuli I think is key to improve life. Else our brain begin to apply "filters" to handle the enourmous amount of stimuli, and mundame things became torture. Physically painful. So moral of the story -- meditate. Loved this video and I believe it will help many.