9 Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist

9 Signs You Are Dating a Narcissist

We all know someone who is just a little too ‘into’ themselves. One too many Instagram flexes and booty shots, someone who loves to talk about themselves on a first date, these are the people we regularly label as a narcissist. But while these aren’t exactly desirable traits, that doesn’t necessarily make the purveyor a self-centred individual. Instead, it’s more likely this person just has an over-inflated ego and heightened self-worth, which might make you unlikable but ultimately harmless. True egocentrics are people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD); a mental health condition characterised by some common factors. It’s true, the word gets thrown around a lot nowadays, but it pays to really know what is a narcissist and you can avoid dating one.

What is a Narcissist?
Aside from being tricky to live with, those who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder will follow familiar patterns. Most notably, they’re identifiable by their;

Lack of empathy for others
Inflated sense of importance
Deep need for excessive attention and admiration
Perpetually troubled relationships
But while we have been incorrectly labelling egotistical people as narcissists, the traits that characterise the personality disorder are inherent in all of us. “Narcissism fuels the confidence to take risks, like seeking a promotion or asking out an attractive stranger,” therapist, relationships expert and author Marianne Vicelich tell Man of Many. “The dysfunction might be related to identity or self-direction or cause friction in relationships due to problems with empathy and intimacy. It may also arise from pathological antagonism characterised by grandiosity and attention-seeking. NPD is a pervasive disturbance in a person’s ability to manage his or her emotions, hold onto a stable sense of self and identity, and maintain healthy relationships in work, friendships and love.”

Official Criteria for NPD
The meaning is one that is inherently confusing, but it seems we now have some clarity. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental Disorders has outlined nine key criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The official criteria for NPD includes;

Grandiose sense of self-importance
Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Belief they are special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
Need for excessive admiration
Sense of entitlement
Interpersonally exploitative behaviour
Lack of empathy
Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them
Demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviours or attitudes
Even though we now have an official guide to spotting signs of NPD, it’s not always easy to pinpoint the less-empathetic among us, particularly in a romantic setting. After all, who goes on a date and asks themselves if they think the person on the other side of the table is a narcissist? “Many people who consider themselves to be excellent judges of character can have a difficulty in seeing a self-centred person for who they really are,” Vicelich says. “Their true identity may eventually reveal itself to some, but to most others, narcissists may appear driven, charismatic, ambitious, disciplined and even fun. They also display attributes of glibness, feelings of high self-worth, pathological lying, proneness to boredom and emotional unavailability. Charles Manson, Stalin, Hitler and Mussolini were all very passionate, charismatic, intelligent, successful guys who also displayed narcissistic traits.”

What Causes Narcissistic Traits?
For those with NPD, the traits they possess are ingrained. While it’s not fully understood how a person becomes a narcissist, there are some common background issues, many of which can be observed from early puberty. “Usually, a parent gave excessive pampering in childhood years. They might have come from a broken home, having abandonment issues that forced them to rely only on themselves,” Vicelich says. “These people have substituted the lack of love and support from a parent by overemphasising their own self-worth. NPD seems to affect more males than females.”

Audio: kinemaster
visuals: pixabay, pexels
source: manofmany