My partner is not attracted to me

Today we will discuss a touchy subject what if your significant other doesn’t finding you attractive.

Let’s dissect this idea and see it from a slightly different perspective.

I will share my own experiences with this to hopefully help.

If you need more help with getting your mind in the right place for this journey join me in the

half size me community

[jill]

I have been married for 25 yrs. I have gained 60 pounds. We haven’t had sex in 9 yrs.

[louisaklimentos]

My husband told me that when he met me, he wasn’t physically attracted to me . He loved me as a friend but not passionately . I never wore a lot of make up but I was reasonable looking and I was slim . He married me because of my personality and that I was not a type of woman who would get up and leave a relationship . It was all about control . I put up with abuse throughout my marriage . It is sad but what can you do .?It isn’t the end of the world .Thanks for you good advice

[malihaschannel]

You made me feel so much better. Thank you so much 🥺✨

[mai]

When I met my partner 3 years ago I felt so good and felt very confident in mayself. Now I've been battling obesity for almost 2 years now and I've had this conversation where he told me he didn't find me as attractive as before because I've let myself down, not only in the matter of weight but appearance overall. He has always had a lower libido than me so it has turned into a problem when we have sex. I can't climax because I feel so self conscious and force myself it's awfull. But he says he loves me and finds me beautiful anyways and wants to stay together. So we have decided to start working out together doing quigong exercises and eating healthier. I have been so sad but this video has made me feel a little bit better because nowadays women tell you if your man says your fat you have to breakup. I don't really want to throw this relationship down the drain because even though is hard to hear these words he still has treated me with respect, never belittling me or hurt me with bad words. He is honest and I appreciate that but again, it's hard to listen to true words. I don't find myself attractive and it show so much. I hope we can overcome thism thank you so much for your wise words

[Azav]

One of the few videos that acknowledged that you felt different and acted differently with the weight.

[nathalie]

Thank you for sharing your experience and insight. I had been in an abusive relationship and realized it had nothing to do with my weight but with his control.

Now I am feeling better
And can see the nuances between a healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamic. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[krystalmcguffie]

I love this! Very insightful! Thanks for being very encouraging. #self love

[crissybunbun]

What happens when you are at your healthiest AFTER TWO KIDS, with a successful career, finally put the makeup away because I feel I’m glowing, happy with accomplishments… still got told “I’m no longer attractive to you” . 10 years deep

[kylabramwell]

Thank you. Your words make so much sense. My partner said I'm not normally his type when we first met and that it's better being with me than being alone and we have been together 6 years and it still bugs me when he looks at other women and his Instragram is filled with gorgeous women he looks at alot even when we are together. I just can't seem to get over it. Any insights?

[WinstonSmith-yyqs]

Being told no and leave her alone most of the time made me lose attraction.

[Cici-ltmz]

Shed the weight then shed that person 🤷‍♀️

[kuraitabinin]

Good advice but I disagree on a couple things. Someone who may say, "I need you at a certain weight or I'm out" isn't necessary short sighted. That could very easily be a long term view as well based on adverse health conditions that we all KNOW are inevitable with obesity. Additionally, yes, our bodies change with age...but when it's not age related and it's observable poor choices being repeated, that's a choice...not an effect of aging. At some point your partner may start wondering if you think they're not worth you being concerned about your appearance and your health. Worse yet, if you're the non overweight partner, there is literally no way you can address the issue without guaranteeing at best hurt feelings and at worst jeopardizing the relationship.

[kimberlielara]

I’m dealing with this right now. I’ve gained around 100 lbs since I’ve been with my husband of 37 years. I always watched my weight and was slim. Then we separated for 10 years and I lost my best friend and then her mom, then my step mom and then My uncle. I was alone, my kids off and grown, my husband and I split.
I never thought I would gain this weight all unintentionally just to feel good. I wanted to feel good again.
He wanted me back so I left my great job and moved to another state to be with him. We use to have sex 3 times a week most the time before we split. He always wanted more. He said one day that he expresses his love for me with sex. Now that we are back together and I have only lost 20 lbs, he don’t want me. We had sex maybe 3 times in 1 year!! So to me that means since we are not having sex he doesn’t love me! I’m devastated
I don’t want to be with someone who is not attracted to me. That’s part of being I love is making love and being all over each other. God I miss that!!

[enjoliturner]

You're awesome! Thank you so much for this.

[kuraitabinin]

So I just read the comments here after posting mine and I see a definite difference between responses from males vs females. And I can't help but notice that in the brief sampling I read, NONE of the female comments indicated any form of the woman possibly taking action and accepting responsibility and trying to look good for her mate. Plenty of blaming though for anyone who would dare put an ultimatum on the scenario. Also specifically alarmed at the one who basically said she'd rather stay overweight and be single than to change for a spouse or significant other because there are plenty of dudes lined up for her while she's overweight. We should check back in on her in her late 50s when she's no longer in demand and is dealing with diabetes, arthritis, and heart disease. But hey...what do I know.

[NisahPooh]

If he's not attracted to you because you gained a few pounds than expect your marriage to end when you begin to physically age in your 50s. I would rather spend my younger fat years being desired, because there is always a line of guys who love it😂🤣😂

[lailbeeb]

The weight gain of my partner makes me not want to have sex. The attitude / personality shift of my partner makes me not want to be around them.

[PoPo-xpyk]

you make so many great points i agree with. you say a person shouldn't tolerate being told "lose weight or i'm leaving you". let me present this scenario. women approaching 60, married for nearly 30 years. Two grown kids. completely financially secure because of husband's great career, never had to work outside the house. lots of commonality. lots of laughs. no belittling, no verbal or any kind of abuse. rarely fight. best friends/housemates. 35-40 lbs overweight. sexless marriage because of weight and lost attraction. lots of available time and resources such as nutritionist, trainer etc, - whatever is necessary. Fit (faithful) husband feeling his age and wanting physical attraction in his life and at his wits end about how to get it before the day he dies. better for her to hear "lose weight or i'm leaving" or just "i'm leaving?"

[Yannis]

Perhaps focus on the attitude towards each other where weight now and before become a far less relevant issue. Men and women both use the weight discussion also as an excuse to not change the attitute towards each other, negatively resulting in any chance for emotional attraction and secondarily physical attraction not being allowed to come back. Can in some csses perhaps be percieved less hurtful to blame the weight of the spouce instead of being real and say, sorry, I no longer find the person you have become attractive. Weight can be changed to one extent, personality far more difficult to change and would also question who both have become in personality. Sometimes we might need to accept that being real is the only option, to accept, to decide, and to follow that decision.

[marvinmartinez]

I've done that I waited to see if the women would lose weight before I dated her .I tried to help her and give her motivation she got tired of trying to lose weight and we stop talking to each other