How to be SHARP and SOFT socially

No inferiority, no superiority (they can feel what you feel on the inside), keep it eye-level.

*TIPS:*
- Soft and Sharp responses are only negatively experienced when imbalanced
- Imbalances = feeling INFERIOR or SUPERIOR
- INFERIORITY symptoms: people-pleasing, laughter-padding, white lies
- SUPERIORITY symptoms: reactiveness, judgement over observation, attachment
- YOUR ENERGY: what you embody inside and out - facial expressions, body language, tone, pitch, pace, words, intention, thoughts, emotions...

How to be SOFT and BALANCED:
1. Be intentional
2. Breathe
3. Be eye-level with others
4. Speak slower
5. Lift/lighten your tone
6. Ground your energy

How to be SHARP and BALANCED:
1. Be intentional
2. Breathe
3. Be eye-level with others
4. Be honest
5. Be definitive and open at the same time
6. Stay present and conscious

See my Instagram and TikTok for more examples on balanced Sharp vs Soft responses.

0:00 Introduction
0:35 Inferiority vs Superiority
2:39 Embodying Energy
3:45 How to be BALANCED SOFT
6:45 How to be BALANCED SHARP
11:23 Conclusion

*CONNECT:*

*ABOUT:*
My name is Ariel Niu, I create, speak, and coach on improving self and social interactions. I give examples on social cues and techniques, and I share stories on how everything and everyone is connected. Since 2018, I have been practicing using my own energy to change outer experiences and people. I love creating content about human connections, and I am grateful and excited to help those who resonate with my messages.

#confidence #socialskills #emotionalintelligence #energy #communicationskills #relationships #socialanxiety #balance #niuviews

[ArielNiuViews]

Do you have a harder time being SOFT or SHARP?

[egxwrjk]

I love that you demonstrate examples of sharp and soft. I find demonstrations and scripts very helpful. I'm not a fan of trying reinvent the wheel or figure these things out for myself from scratch. I'd rather see how it's done and then play around with it until it feels natural to me.

[ogirio]

INFERIORITY symptoms:
- people-pleasing
- laughter-padding
- white lies

SUPERIORITY symptoms:
- reactiveness
-judgement over observation
- biased attachment

YOUR ENERGY is what
you embody inside and out.
- facial expressions
- body language
- tone
- pitch
- pace
- words
- intention
- thoughts
- emotions

How to be BALANCED SOFT:

1. Be intentional
2. Breathe
3. Be eye-level With others
4. Speak slower
5. Lift/lighten your tone
6. Ground your energy

How to be BALANCED SHARP:
1. Be intentional
2. Breathe
3. Be eye-level with others
4. Be honest
5. Be definitive AND detached
at the same time
6. Stay present and conscious

[srilaasyamoka]

as a socially awkward introvert this was really helpful

[cheyennec]

A lot of people think “soft/nice=doormat” and therefore be sharp to guard themselves when really the solution is to *HAVE BOUNDARIES* !!You can absolutely be kind/ soft with BOUNDARIES because it lets everyone know right of the bat what you will and won’t accept & helps YOU handle your thoughts/emotions better while sifting out the people who do or don’t respect that.
If you honestly feel you’re incapable of this & NEED to be sharp with others (brutal honesty, passive aggression, etc) that’s a social issue you might wanna take up with a therapist.

[Tieritta]

This video made me realise that I actually need to work on both my sharpness and softness depending on who I’m interacting with. I love your explanation on maintaining balance and that it’s the imbalance of energy which causes the superiority and inferiority complex I find myself experiencing.

[fluffyclouds]

The story of my life is masking my inferiority with sharpness. I’m very matter of fact, direct, short, and cold. But on the inside, I’m a softy who is terrified. This is very helpful. Great video.

[Psychgo]

This is great material. Keep up the good work!

[howtomakeyourlifeeasier]

this is a lifesaver for autistic people

[asea]

This should be a course in grade school and throughout high-school. Many people are not shown this in their homes growing up and if they were given a chance to learn it in at least a school environment then humanity would evolve in the best ways

[jaydeerezvani]

I've been practicing how to deal with self-esteem related people pleasing. learning more in depth about the factors that go into creating that off-balance feeling when interacting with people makes it more inspiring to approach changing it- rather than just feeling anxious about it. Thank you so much for this video!!!

[maeberry]

Shout out to all my NDs 🤍
Thank you Niu!

[lmperfection]

The tips in this video helped me and my parent to have a really difficult conversation. We yelled and I started to lose it, but I took a deep breath and reminded myself my INTENTIONS. My goal wasn’t to “win” an argument. My true goal was to express that I could not let go of the issue, because I was scared of losing him. This gave me strength to calmly reach out to touch his hand, something I’ve never ever done in my entire life when we were fighting, and honestly tell him what was in my heart.

[almi]

As someone who comes from a pretty low class background with family members that know nothing about how to behave in social situations, I feel like you're the big sister I never had who's helping me get by in society. Thank you for all this wonderful content. <3

[Jellisist]

This video is good and balanced, in that it gives up the "secrets" and the "GEMS"

[ronellegarcia]

My (recently made ex) best friend has constantly had a superiority complex when she talks to me. It’s always frustrated me. She comes off as rude and condescending and I’m so tired of it. She has that soft superiority, where it comes off as “I’m so much better then you but I’m just sooo humble and sweet about it! Let me sweetly and constantly rub it in your face.”
I’m tired of being a doormat and people pleaser when it’s hurting me.

[NanoYoga]

You’ve made me realise that I am just way to aggressive when I put my own point across. Or find it hard to stfu but my face is just pure sass. That perhaps I am not as socially advanced as I thought and really need help with my communication skills. And yep inferiority and superiority complex is so what it is too. Rewatching this again ❤

[floxynzekwesi]

Always struggled with appearing too soft in my tone, probably because I sometimes have inferiority complex when am around other people. thank you for this, I will now practice more detachment and sharpness in tone

[andersondestiny]

Thank You for this. I’m a recovering people pleaser that’s been learning how to set boundaries but I’ve been noticing my energy being more sharp in a superiority way and I’ve realized that’s not 100% me either. I appreciate this break down I was literally talking to my partner about this last night

[kif]

Balanced sharp sits on the foundation that “power doesn’t panic.”