If Minecraft Was Controlled By Twitter...

If Minecraft Was Controlled By Twitter... Minecraft lowkey be crazy when it's controlled by twitter.

This is not Minecraft Multiplayer Be Like, When a Fornite Player Plays Minecraft, if Minecraft Was Free to Play, or If Minecraft was controlled by parents. This is If Minecraft Was Controlled By Twitter.

[Zembie]

I think sprinting should have gotten a cancel point because exercising is “fatphobic”

[vanurp]

"There is no shame in killing an iron golem because it's white."
-someone from Twitter.

[SillierPutty]

"endangered species"
Meanwhile endermen being the only mobs to appear in every dimension:

[CureChronos]

Based on everything we know from this video alone, here’s my idea on how to beat this, which is REALLY tedious, but if it works then it’s possible to beat the whole game without getting cancelled once.

1. Toggle bonus chest on before creating the world. If you’re lucky you should be able to get enough wood for a wooden hoe and pickaxe. And no, the bonus chest is god given for you, so it is not stealing from anyone.

2. Obtain additional wood by luring creepers to explode near trees, or explode near wooden planks in abandoned mineshafts, villages, witch huts, pillager towers, and other wooden structures. The cancel meter only goes up if you’re the one destroying blocks, not when mobs do so. Because let’s face it, only the one destroying (the creeper) the blocks gets the blame by Twitter logic.

3a. If you’re lucky enough to spawn in a grass-oriented biome like plains, punch grass for seeds and grow them into wheat for bread using your hoe. Technically this should be fine, because you only get cancelled for destroying trees but not necessarily grass.

3b. In case 3a doesn’t work: If you spawned in a taiga biome, find red berries and farm them. You may also lure creepers into exploding abandoned village crops like carrots, potatoes, and beetroot (see step 2). If you can, plant them on your own for food.

4. Mine coal and iron as usual because there’s nothing special in that regard. Run away from any monster you see and conserve your tool durability so you don’t have to use too many materials to make tools. Make iron armor, an iron pickaxe, and buckets.

5. Mine lots of gold for later, and make one piece of golden armor. Also mine some redstone to make a dispenser. This will come into play later.

6a. At this point you should have a bunch of cobblestone. Don’t throw it out, make a mob farm tall enough so that any mob falling down die from fall damage, which means you don’t need to attack anything for their loot. If you’re lucky, you can get a skeleton to drop arrows. This is very important, as getting feathers to make arrows is impossible.

6b. You could also get string if you find cobwebs in an abandoned mineshaft, but just in case, refer to 6a, because destroying cobwebs might constitute as “Destroying the natural habitat of spiders”.

7. Build a nether portal with a lava pool as usual. Place a flammable block like planks near the base, then surrounding that block on all sides except one. If you do it right, the fire is forced to ignite the block on the side just above the obsidian base of the portal, naturally igniting the portal. Again, twitter logic; if you didn’t ignite the portal by directly interacting with it, then you didn’t do it and thus did nothing to get cancelled.

8. Trade with piglins with gold to get ender pearls, so you don’t have to kill endermans. You might be able to get string from the trades as well. If you haven’t gotten string already, use them to make a bow and, crucially, a fishing rod.

9. To get blaze rods without entering a fortress, you need to have some luck. Look for a fortress that has a blaze spawner which is close to grounded areas that are considered outside the fortress. Use a fishing rod to pull blazes one by one toward you so that you can kill them outside of the fortress. There’s no penalty for killing blazes, so you’re free to do this until you have enough.

10. Now that you can get eyes of ender, locate the stronghold but don’t go into it immediately.

11. Instead, go on a trip to find moss blocks, and go back to your mob farm to get bones for bonemeal. Then return to the stronghold.

12a. Place moss blocks near the stone bricks of the stronghold. Bonemeal the moss to “infect” the walls of the stronghold. Doing so should trick the game (or the twitter users) into thinking that you’re now destroying moss blocks and not the stone bricks that are the walls of the stronghold, avoiding the “destroying ancient landmarks” penalty.
EDIT: Actually wait hang on, I think you can only moss stone, not stone brick. Use pistons. XD It will be tedious but it's theoretically possible to do because you're not "destroying" blocks (?)

12b. Excavate the walls and navigate around the stronghold safely until you find the portal room. This is done so that you don’t have to go into the stronghold to find it, which would give you the “entering an ancient landmark” penalty. Once you find a portal, dig just below the stronghold in a similar fashion to get just below the portal.

12c. You should be able to interact with the portal frames and place the eyes to trigger the portal. The theory is that unlike the nether portal, the end portal transports you to a made-up dimension that doesn’t exist, so it will not trigger the “encouraging hell” penalty.

13a. In addition to the usual, make sure you have the following: Tons of blocks, tons of arrows, a water bucket, a dispenser, and anything you can use to trigger the dispenser.

13b. To enter the portal without entering the stronghold, use an ender pearl and fire it at the portal frame. You will teleport into the portal and thus teleport to the end safely.

14. Once in the end, you’ll have to setup the dragon water trap. Build as high as you can and bridge until you get just above the perch point for the dragon aka the portal altar. Place water high above and place a block so the dragon’s AI make the boss perch so high up the end crystals can’t heal the dragon.

15. In case killing the dragon directly triggers a cancellation, use your dispenser and fill it with arrows, before firing arrows at the dragon however you choose to trigger the machine. It’ll take a lot of patience, but eventually you should be able drain the dragon’s health bar.

16. Get back to the ground and enter the portal. Done!


I hope this works because this took forever to type. 😂

[BlackPeggy]

I thought he was gonna get cancelled for racism when he killed that Enderman, in a boat nonetheless 💀

[justseffstuff]

"I guess stealing from the poor can't get you cancelled" Too true, bro

[elblend]

2:45 you doesnt get canceled because iron golem is basicly a white man..

[ozgamerab]

3:15 Make sure you let the zombies hit you first, because then hitting them back is self defence.

[JavieyauYT]

Twitter:you killed an endangered species
Endermen:we be infesting a whole dimension

[jackattack]

Chuck: *gets cancelled*
Chuck 29 minutes later: And I'm still cancelled to this day...

[NicketyWicketyCW]

Hey I’m glad twitter didn’t actually do this, especially bc destroying a shipwreck in international waters is in most circumstances completely legal under international maritime law.

[funfungerman]

3:30 no way that they’re a hell shaming!

[haxotf]

2:00 Vegans when they realize eating plants is also killing life.

[CamoEye]

Imagine buying a $30 dollar game, and having to also pay a subscription to play it.

[allusionss]

If you die in a mass shooting, only 5 people pay their respects.
If you shoot back in self defense, you either get hailed as the national hero of the century or shunned to the point where you're forced to move to a different galaxy. Whatever bandwagon gets there first, no inbetween.

[theultraguy]

a random ass normal human: *breathes*
twitter guy/gal: OK THAT’S EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE

[StickVincent]

When you get cancelled for walking on the ground because you're apparently killing microscopic animals

[tannercoons]

Killing the iron golem didn’t get you cancelled because it’s like a police officer

[Tryxonie]

Random dude: "Animals are not for eating"

Farms: Am I a joke to you ?!

[TheStudioArchitect]

This isn't accurate enough. If Minecraft was actually controlled by Twitter, you would have been cancelled for being a white man entering a village of... what would you call them, Native Villagers? Either way, you would have been cancelled for entering a village as a white man. Or, better yet, for even being a man.

Still 90% accurate though lol.