what women actually find attractive

In this video, we discuss the female gaze vs. the male gaze and common misconceptions about male attractiveness.

0:45 - story driven
1:48 - looks matter
2:34 - antidote
3:48 - playdoh
4:30 - relative vs absolute
5:55 - nichemaxing
7:05 - tinder dilemma
8:00 - bad boys

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[sophc]

I’ve come across a bunch of videos like this that are always completely off—but, as a girl, this one is actually so accurate (based on myself and most of the women I know lol). Hope certain communities end up find this video.

[machiavelli]

Biggest mistake I have seen, and guilty of it myself as well in the past, is that a lot of guys view romance as trying to sell themselves, show their good parts (sometimes fake even) while hiding their bad parts in order to 'convince' the woman. It ends in a bad way most of the time. Instead its better to view it as a dance or a ritual, free of inhibitions, fears and even the world itself, where rather than convincing the other person, you just try to live in the moment with them, have a fun time and genuinely live it. If they reciprocate, good for you, if they don't, well hey, at least you have a great story with you now

[amoldyleg]

as a girl who has no idea how i ended up on this side of youtube this guy is spitting facts fr

[Barrrt]

My best tips that I've learned through the years:
- It's not about getting with every girl or getting with the hottest girl, it's about finding out who YOU like and who you actually MATCH with. Mutual attraction is much more important than hotness.
- It's about having fun and being in the moment. If you have a (hidden) agenda you will become more stiff. Try to have fun, try to be present, and you will be the party
- Own your desires - don't be afraid to take initiative but also take care of your own emotional needs so that you don't become angry with a woman for not recipricating.
- Touch and laughter are 'base zero'. If you meet her, give her a high five or a hug or whatever. If you say goodbye, same. If you both laugh, make a little phisical contact. If you practice this skill (it will be awkward at first. Do it with your male friends as well to get comfortable with it, and with girls that are just friends if you have any).
- Just say hi as soon as you see her, even if you don't know her. That's how you meet people. Do not wait longer than 3 seconds. Just say hi. Go.

[eamoncapps]

Thank you for not making women seem like unpleasable villains like a lot of other self improvement channels. :)

[abhishektoppo]

Your video really struck a chord with me. It reinforces the idea that blending self-confidence, personal development, staying purpose driven, while also embracing social interaction and uniqueness can create a path to forming meaningful connections with those who share your vibe and value your authenticity.

[drowzee]

ironically what I found is the most simple way to be more attractive is attempting to think and see the perspective of a woman's mind and incorporating it into your own life as a man. I think we are too focused on characteristics and forgot about the importance of genuine understanding and being comfortable around someone. The looks and demeanor of a person is just for the attention getting but what truly matters is the type of person you are and how you treat someone. In a way the best thing to do is stop trusting in a "method" and to just be as genuine as possible and spread that honesty and positivity in a way that will inspire others to drop the persona they put up and open up more to you. Don't try to "act" and just be your lovable true self and you'll find more meaningful connections along the way, even if they won't come as easily

[eliuryes]

I always thought my girl was out of my league. My gf is very beautiful and Im an average looking dude. Back when we were just friends, I had a huge crush on her but I gave up on the idea of ever asking her out rather quickly, because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable by declaring myself and possibly ruin our friendship as a result. And I also thought that she would never find me attractive because I knew what her type was and I didn't fit anywhere close to it. I have enough self-awareness so I didn't start acting differently and just continued our friendship normally like always. I didn't "simp" for her or started to act "nice" to her for the sole reason that she might give me a chance someday if I did. Some time later we got closer and our friendship deepend and eventually we fell in love with each other. Even when we first got together I still had that deep insecurity in myself because I didn't fit in any category of her type. In my mind, I always thought that she just got together with me because I treated her right and Im somewhat funny. That she's just settling for me...I didn't really care because I was determined to just enjoy every second of the time I got to spend with her. I never voiced my insecure thoughts to her and I just brushed off any compliment with a self deprecating joke and moved on. But then she started pointing out what she found attractive of me and I made the effort to actually listen and take it all in. And then something clicked in me.... She said that I'm socially confident, funny, kind, mature, considerate, a great listener and that I also give great advice. Also, that I'm easy going and relaxed but at the same time passionate about my interests. She even mentioned the way that I dressed. When she got to the physical aspects, she mentioned that I had very nice arms, eyes and jawline. And that was at the very end. To her, that was the least important thing about what she liked about me.

Us men tend to think that women want partners that are good to look at and will also make them look good as a unit. Or that they look for a man with a high status and even higher income. Sure there are very vain people out there just like that. Specially through out social media. But most women just want to be with someone that will make them feel good about themselves. Someone that will offer a deep emotional connection and not a surface level thing like "they're just hot". Yes, physical attraction plays a big part about liking someone but it's not the crutch of a relationship.

[Sacheess]

If you go to a city square, you'll see average guy with a nice girl, but seeing a short guy with a tall girl is extremely rare, while seeing tall guys with short girls is common. When being short, you have to compensate a lot with other traits to be seen as attractive. No one said that life is fair, but it's just tiring.

Edit: some people ask me for my height. It's 168 cm. Most girls are my height or a bit taller.

[CaptCanuck]

Be the best version of yourself you can be, for yourself and not to please or attract others. If you're true to yourself and aren't trying to fake it, you'll attract someone compatible that wants you and isn't out to change you. Don't simp. Ever.

[coconacht]

for all seriousness bro, ive been adapting some of your advices on focusing on myself and actually caring for my physical and mental well being. i gotta say, it made a huge difference on me rn than i was in senior highschool. i often notice girls in my local college and even on some other busy places glancing at me when i walk past them. of course im not saying they're into me but i think when u really understand how to take care of yourself and dress appropriately, they'll definitely notice you. even on academic stuffs and things that requires working together, i notice some smart people are drawn to me even though i lack some other resources. learning how to focus on your strengths really made a difference for me and im glad and thankful for your advice. keep this stuff coming bro, it helps a lot ngl

[casbox]

This whole „it’s about the story you tell“ thing is genuinely a good frame of thinking

[icetea]

Agreed. We need part 2. Its a good topic especially about the misconceptions about gaze

[Ver-wnel]

You know what, I've genuinely stopped caring. I've got things to do and I'm not going to change who I am or who I will be for anyone, I'd rather be alone than weak or false in my demeanour.

[dackjaniels]

Women want men that aren't "too much" or "too little" on every aspect.
They want someone athletic, but not too muscular or with too low body fat. Most of them like a tall man, but not like 6'6 or over. They want someone funny, but not someone who always makes jokes, someone sensitive, but not too sensitive, someone that takes care of himself, but not too much, otherwise he would be too feminine. Also too masculine isn't ideal, most women would prefer a normal dude over someone with shaved head, long beard, a lot of body hair and huge muscles.

The only thing that a man can have as too much and still be attractive is money.

[ModernModest.]

I appreciate how straight forward and to the point you are. So many creators preach for like an hour before getting to the point. You've helped me a lot so thank you

[akai]

This one is so true. Specially the "Niche maxxing". I tell you, when I'm talking to a weeb girl I feel like the rizz master, but I feel completely clueless with non weeb women or offline women. You will appeal to your group if you stay true to yourself.

[keliyrr]

The McDonald’s vs French cuisine analogy is really good at explaining why there’s always hope. I’m gonna use that for my friends

[euso]

I couldn't care less about the female gaze. Learn to love yourself and don't settle for anyone who can't love you the way you love yourself

[SheikAshii]

I’ve noticed something about the story driven.

Show girls an attractive guy and say “he thinks he’s the most attractive person ever. What do you think?”

They’ll say ew he’s a 1.

But if you say “this guy so self conscious about his looks because his family calls him the ugly one”?

They’ll all be like “wow no he’s gorgeous he shouldn’t listen to them!”

It’s all about the story that gets auto generated in their head BASED off the guys looks rather than the literal look of them. Once you realize this, you won’t go back.

For a guy, it would be like “she’s a terrible person but she’s still objectively hot”

Or

“She’s a really nice person and she’s hot” lol