Why he disappeared after asking you out!

Join Dr. Becky Spelman, a renowned psychologist, in this insightful video as she delves into a perplexing dating phenomenon: ghosting. Have you ever been asked out, only to be left waiting and wondering when your date doesn't show up? Dr. Spelman explores the psychology behind this behavior, shedding light on why some individuals may choose to ghost others.

The Psychology of Ghosting: Dr. Spelman explains the mindset of individuals who ghost, including the fear of confrontation and avoidance of uncomfortable situations.

Chasing the Ghost: The video addresses a crucial point - if someone ghosts you with the expectation of being chased, it can be a red flag. Dr. Spelman discusses why this behavior might indicate a lack of readiness for a strong, intimate relationship.

Impact on the Ghosted: Understand the emotional impact on those who are ghosted, and why it's not a reflection of their worth or attractiveness.
Moving Forward: Dr. Spelman offers practical advice on how to move forward if you've been ghosted, focusing on self-care and setting boundaries in future relationships.

This video is a must-watch for anyone who has experienced ghosting or wants to understand this modern dating dilemma better. Dr. Spelman's expert insights provide clarity and guidance on navigating these often confusing and hurtful situations. Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more psychology insights from Dr. Becky Spelman.

#relationships #dating #ghosting

Dr. Becky Spelman is a top Psychologist in London, Becky is the Clinic Director for Private Therapy Clinic which has clinic's based all around central London including; Harley Street, Wigmore Street, Bank, Earls Court & Canary Wharf. Becky uses Psychodynamic Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Mindfulness to treat a range of difficulties with a particular interest in Borderline Personality Disorder and the difficulties that go with this condition such as relationship difficulties, anxiety, depression, low-self esteem, social anxiety, fear of public speaking, fear of intimacy, interpersonal difficulties, anger, body image issues, eating disorders and addictions.

For further help with this topic you can contact us here:

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Dr Becky Spelman c/o Private Therapy Clinic
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63 Wigmore st.
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[Butterflygyal]

Yes, I’m so glad that I found this video. This happened to me four months ago.

[Nicolas_]

Hello!
Interesting topic. I can't wait to watch (and listen to) this video.
Thank you!

[Butterflygyal]

Also, how can I differentiate between the man being afraid of intimacy, or he just lost interest/ he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me? I keep hearing the saying going around the internet that a man knows what he wants & the reason he may not give it to the girl he is currently with is because she isn’t his dream girl. He”ll do the right thing for his dream girl & that the current woman that he is with right now is just a placeholder. There are so many stories of women begging me to change & then when a new girl comes around, he is everything that the first girl ever wanted.

[nickthompson]

Merry Christmas 🤶 🎄 and happy new year to you becky take care

[matjazb.]

I would partly agree with it. All shown in video is related to dismissive avoidant attachment style person (in video - man). Not for anxious attachment style persons. My case is like we agreed to stay in contact and to meet and when I asked the woman after a few days for a date she agreed. A day before our meeting I double checked if date is still confirmed from her side, she just repeated that she works in the morning (as I already knew as I planned the date for late afternoon) not telling me some positive words or expressed some inviting tone like oh, cool looking to see you. Then as I felt not quite welcomed by her and that I need to drive 1, 5 h to meet her, I cancelled the date saying Hey it's no go for tomorrow. She said ok, we'll reschedule. After 4 days I proposed another date to meet. 1 hour before I wanted to get in the car she msged me that her mother called her to come cancelling the date ... After that she made probably fake apology that she is very sorry but she never rescheduled ... Flaking is in highest trend in dating these days.

[Nicolas_]

If a woman asked me out and then disappeared, what would I be supposed to think about that?

[thijsjong]

Makes sense. People who had overbearing parent and people with unavailaable parent seeking the oposite of who they grew up with.

[FrSeer]

Speaking from my own experiance, it brings validation to me when I get that confirmation for a date. Now looking back at this I'm more careful on who I match and swipe right since its toxic trade I'm working hard on letting go. In simple terms, the guy is not really into you and its the guys fault, same a when a guy will ask a girl out and the girl will stop replaying, she was looking for some sort of validation and wasn't really into the guy.

[nickthompson]

Your hair and red jacket 😍 look great as per the usual of course

[alxces]

Wow, this lady makes me understand why there are so many single women. And wth is with mother thing. Maybe is because society thought many women to reject men and men had been rejected so many times that going through it again at a later age brings back those unpleasant memories. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be intimate with a partner, is more of being afraid of rejection. This lady is the type of person that gives women toxic advise and then blame men for everything.

[Nicolas_]

Those men are the exact opposite of me.

[nickthompson]

I guess he ran 🏃‍♂️ 🤷 out of money 💰 🤑 💸 to take her out to McDonald's or taco bell 🔔 for dinner and to red box 📦 for a movie 🎬 date 📅 and then back to McDonald's for a mcflurrie dessert for a night cap now that's a real date 📅 she really missed out on him 😉 didn't she 😊

[Nicolas_]

That'd be great if a woman asked a man out. But most of them don't want to make the first move and they apparently expect everything from the man. Is it normal? Why? I don't mind making the first move, but I'd like to see more women making the first move too. Why not? Women can do it. Men are not superior. However, I never asked a girl/woman out. I've always been rejected. Thank you women!!! 😭😄
They tell me: "You're a kind man", "You're funny" and "Your eyes are very beautiful" but it never goes any further 😄 If I were a millionaire, maybe it would go further 😄
Seriously, it seems absolutely unfair. However, don't get me wrong, I'm still a straight man 😄