Christian Marriage by C.S. Lewis Doodle (BBC Talk 14a, Mere Christianity, Bk 3, Chapter 6)

This is a fresh section on sexual morality that Lewis added to a reprint of his famous BBC addresses to bring in points which he had not time to deal with in the actual talks. Notes below.

This became Chapter 5 of Book 3, in the book called ‘Mere Christianity'.

(0:32) Lewis would later marry in 1957 – incidentally he married a divorcee, who had legitimate reasons for a righteous divorce. He wrote 'The Four Loves' after his marriage, which is highly recommended reading also.

(8:10) Patriotism. Lewis: "Ordinary morality tells us, ceteris paribus [all other things being equal], to love our kindred and fellow citizens more than strangers."

A racialist ethic is achieved by isolating one part of this maxim to the exclusion of the other, so that no claims except those of blood are acknowledged (i.e. blood ties or loyalty to family are everything, and the rights of strangers is ignored).

A socialist ethic is achieved by selecting the other part of the maxim, so that duties to children and citizens are destroyed for 'the good of humanity'. Scriptures like 1 Timothy 5:8 are ignored. It was disillusionment with this error that was one of the steps that led Joy Lewis to convert to Christianity: "I began to notice what neglected, neurotic waifs the children of Communists were and to question the genuineness of the love of mankind that didn't begin at home.”

(10:56) The original booklet contained a shorter passage which was re-written and extended in the book, ‘Mere Christianity’, but it also contained some other ideas which are beneficial to consider as well – the idea that falling in love may not be a good enough reason for a Christian to get married in the first place.

Lewis: “People...often say, 'Surely love is the important thing in marriage.' In a sense, yes. Love is the important thing – perhaps the only important thing – in the whole universe. But it depends what you mean by “Love”. What most people mean by Love, when they are talking about marriage, is what is called “being in love". Now “being in love” may be a good reason for getting married, though, as far as I can see, it is not a perfect one, for you can fall in love with someone most unsuitable, and even with someone you don’t really (in a deeper sense) LIKE or trust. But being in love is not the deeper unity which makes man and wife one organism. I am told (indeed I can see by looking round me) that being in love doesn’t last. I don’t think it was ever intended to. I think it’s a sort of explosion that starts up the engine; it’s the pie-crust, not the pie. The real thing, I understand, is something far deeper — something you can live on. I think you can be madly in love with someone you would be sick of after ten weeks: and I’m pretty sure you can be bound heart and soul to someone about whom you don’t at the moment feel excited, any more than you feel excited about yourself.”

(18:25) In the Bible man only began to “rule” (Genesis 3.16) over his wife as a result and punishment of the fall. Before that, man was head of his wife, but not her master. In a similar way, Israel's Judges were shepherds or heads over Israel, but not her Kings. See Judges 8.23 where God’s Judge, Gideon, utterly rejects that position: “I shall not rule over you, and not shall my son rule over you; the LORD shall rule over you!”. The people’s rejection of God as Master, and their wicked demand for a human master in 1 Samuel 8.7 and 1 Samuel 12.17 is shown to be an inferior position from the original. Being 'head' of a woman did not mean that she could not defy a wicked husband (see Abigail's famous defiance of her wicked husband Nabal’s wishes and it was righteous - 1 Sam 25), nor did it mean that a husband would not have to obey his wife on righteous occasions when she knew the will of the Lord better than he ("Obey your wife in all that she says” - Genesis 21.12, a contrast to Gen. 16.2). Abigail, in fact, performed the role of a righteous wife and classic helpmate for David in saving him from the disaster of avenging himself. See Lewis here: "The sternest feminist need not grudge my sex the crown offered to it either in the Pagan or in the Christian mystery. For the one is of paper and the other of thorns" (C. S. Lewis, 'The Four Loves').

(2:18) If you would like to know where the traditional Christian marriage vows - to (a) love, (b) nourish, (c) cherish and (d) be faithful - come from and what they actually mean, I’ve put together a couple of simple presentations on the subject, photographed in miniature toys. See

[mrscoobydo]

Why does he say he hasn’t been married. He had a wife that died.

[youngthinker]

Songs of Solomon shows the journey that love goes through; passionate hot love, tough painful love, and comforting enduring love.
From the passion, we heat up and meld together.
As it cools, we realize we are together and struggle against each other, in order to find out how we actually fit together.
Once we find our fit with one another, then we rely on each other with utter trust and faith; for you and I, through hot passion and harsh refinement, now are of one flesh and one blood.

Most people fail to see the final step, and as Paul writes, fails to finish the race, because they become over burden with fear and doubt.

[Geronimo_Jehoshaphat]

Honestly, if all a person did was watch one of these elegantly illustrative videos of C.S. Lewis' eloquent breakdowns for proper understanding of the Christianic ethos once per day - it would nearly effortlessly be more beneficial than most tenured years of formal educational study in arbitrary blather and dogmatic drivel.

To my mind, these videos are works of the most resplendent altruism, and ought to be embraced and ingraciated in-kind by a far wider audience than currently represented in its view counts.

These are the definition of "superb".

[karatio]

Even though I'm not married and as single as single is, this is so necessary to hear. Not just in the aspect of marriage but of anything that you need to get past in life. I can't hold onto the past, I have to let it go, let it die and move on forward.

[CaptainCrunchOwns]

Please keep making these, they are tremendous. C.S. Lewis had a phenomenal grasp of the English language; his pellucid and poetic way of conveying his thoughts always leaves me in awe. And the doodles are so satisfying to watch along with the reading.

[StevetheMetalFan]

Thank you for bringing C.S. Lewis to the masses. Your artistry and notes are greatly appreciated. God bless you and your work!

[pettifoggingpharisee]

0:32 "...the 2nd reason is that I have never been married myself." - C.S. Lewis in 1943

Joy Greshem has entered the chat in 1957.

[stephenhruby]

This is an interesting conception of the christian dominance model, I've never seen it rendered in this way. The male role playing a mediator towards the rest of society as mama bear will have deeply rooted impulses to protect her cubs.

[christianknickerbocker]

I feel that his comments about trying to hold onto one passion and not moving onto its next form are vital. At 33 I very much feel like a disillusioned old man, God help me to seek better things than those shallow excitations of the flesh I so worshipped as a child.

[tayh.]

We had part of this talk read at our wedding starting with "Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing..." A lot of our extended family is only nominally Christian so we wanted to share what we were actually committing to. I can say, having been together now almost a decade, our love is different than it was when we first began to date. Less butterflies, but as I told my husband the other day, I'm not even curious about who I'd be without him, I only want to know the version of me that has him. You really do become two halves of a whole in a healthy marriage.

[bgm-shpe]

tried to take notes and literally everything was so wisdom filled and amazing that I knew if I wrote one word I’d copy the whole lesson down on paper

[mothershoe]

My eldest son absolutely loves C.S. Lewis. I have a hard time reading his books because I find it hard to visualize all he is saying. These last couple of videos I’ve watched were amazing. Thank you for putting these together so beautifully. I will be subscribing and sharing. Thank you again. By the way, the ending was perfect.

[DrSamanthaOReilly]

Those last minutes where he explains the male headship of the family were brilliant. I can imagine most people today would still reject the idea - and even be apoplectic about the insult to women - but I find it utterly compelling. I also know it's true from experience. I know many women who are almost constantly furious with their husbands for what Lewis calls being "an appeaser". I've felt that fury myself - after a recent parent-teacher meeting!

[whm_w]

I have a confession to make: if it wasn’t for the drawings and videos, I probably won’t understand half of CS Lewis or the Bible. D:

[cthoadmin]

Funny, I’m not a believer, but it’s such a pleasure to read and listen to, C. S. Lewis. What a joy.

[brittanymadelianne]

Thank you for making such excellent content! I have a hard time understanding CS Lewis's writing when I just read it. This perfectly accommodates a visual and audio learner like me.

[valeriekelly]

I just soo love C. S. Lewis - in the desert of this modern world his words are a shining light. Mere Christianity has been one of my Go To books for the last 40 years x

[dominicdavistv]

Well done on the hard work drawing and putting these short films together! As a visual learner it really helps me to digest the information better. Much appreciated and God bless!

[usmcvet]

That ending was legendary. Hit the nail on the head so much that I had to laugh.

[alexs]

Lovely. Great homage to a great Christian apologist. Thank you and God bless you.