C.S. Lewis - Biblical Marriage and Chivalry Cannot Coexist

C.S. Lewis argued in his book An Allegory of Love that chivalry cannot coexist with Biblical marriage because when you raise romantic love to something moral then it will displace biblical marriage as being morally good.

Here is the original Dalrock Article:

[tomb]

Marriage is about commitment. The same commitment we have to our children. They may upset us, misbehave or downright rebel, but would we ever divorce them? No. Why. Because we love them unconditionally.

[dr.vonslifeinvesting]

God explanation appreciate your channel

[yeetoburrito]

I stumbled across this video, but wanted to throw in my two cents: I think romantic (in the sense of the erotic love (Eros) that Lewis talks about in The Four Loves) is important in a Biblical marriage, as it is the love that Christ has for the Church (Song of Solomon, and Psalm 45, Psalm 45 is a weaker point, but I think in conjunction with SoS it checks out, and it is clear that its talking about Christ bc the author of Hebrews says it does). Additionally, I would argue that romantic love is the desire to become one with the other (as opposed to lust which seeks pleasure from the other), I don't have any legitimate reason for why I think romantic love is the desire to become one with one another, but I think its not too great of a stretch, after all, those who love one another want to be around the other and engage with them and often involve them with every aspect of their life. And, if you accept this definition, then I would say that it is important, if not necessary, for Biblical marriage, as marriage is fundamentally the unity of two into one ("Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"). NOW, because it may be important does not mean that just because one stops feeling such a romantic love that one can simply opt out of the marriage, you've already become one flesh, its not right to leave. And I think this is exemplified in the commands that God gives couples in the NT "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church", and in Titus 2 "they [older women] can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children", we wouldn't have received these commands if a) it wasn't something we would fail to do by ourselves, and b) if we weren't able to do it. But because its a command we know that it is something we will be prone to fail to do, as well as something that we can do strengthened in Christ. On the basis of romantic love being important to a marriage, I think these commandments are referring to such romantic love (in addition to agape love), and I think from this it seems (and I believe it to be the case) that romantic love is to some extent a choice (certainly there is an element of falling in love with someone that is beyond ones control, but I do strongly believe that much of that is something one has control over, you can choose to love certain aspects and ignore less attractive aspects). I think this understanding is exemplified in the 1662 Book of Common Prayer where the man is asked prior to marriage "wilt thou lover her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?" (the woman is asked something similar, but slightly different", and vows in the ceremony "to love and to cherish, till death do us part", in these vows the view that love is a choice and act is clear. I think that is what marriage fundamentally is, I think it actually seems unbiblical to unhitch romantic love from marriage, I think its far more Biblical to say that when people get married they vow to choose to love, even if it doesn't feel like it. Perhaps I completely missed the point and misunderstood what you were saying, if thats the case, please let me know, but that was my two cents :)

[kirstenviers]

Too fun! You gave me some new ideas to help bring back the church.

I disagree with you. When I was married, I always loved the man I thought he was. When he divorced me, I had to re-evaluate if he was the man I loved. I still think he is, but just not for me. This allows the devil to break in and for some it would really screw with their heads, but it didn't me 1) because of what I've suffered in my life, and 2) I had my Bible, which the Lord finally opened up to me when I got divorced. So, if you will allow me to teach you what I've thought and what you gave me a good idea to introduce for further insight.

1 Corinthians 7:1-6 is very realistic, especially if you've been married before and gave it everything you had only to have it fail. The concept is that true love of self, each other, and the community in which you will entrust your children is based on preserving the temple. Just prior, in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Paul tells us that our body is our temple not brick and mortar. In Ephesians 5:21-33, Paul discusses how difficult it is to reconcile a man and woman to each other, but it clearly states that a man should never ask a woman, nor a woman of her man, to do things of which they find defiling to their respective bodies. This basic of preservation of body is covered in verses 1 thru 4, but then Paul starts to talk about boredom. Boredom is what you are speaking to when talking about chivalry. When things are fun and new, it feels romantic only because you do not know. K.I.S.S. In verses 5-6, you now know and are either too lazy or too scared to make it exciting again; and, if you've been married before, spicing up the actual sex life does not make it more exciting, only more work that you will not want to maintain. So, adultery becomes a risk, which is why Paul says to keep introspection short. But what does he know as a Pharisee, verse 7. 🙂

Now for what you taught me, that may help for those seeking to spice up their marriage by becoming sexually immoral, doing things that are against normal body process and sensory organs hoping to strike it big in Las Vegas. 2 Samuel 24 talks about David taking a census and how he was punished for doing it, his response was "Don't let me fall into the hands of man, let God choose how to bring justice to what I have done." The story is about building a military but it can be applied to marriage, again why introspection should be kept short. If not, you will starve to death from the nitpicking and over conversing about what was, or what could be, resulting in war if you do or do not want to do personally, and if you'd want to do or not want to do together. Life isn't that hard, and our elders always said the sex was the easy part.

I'm glad you wandered across my YouTube feed. I wish you well.