The Humours of Whiskey (Full Version) - Colm R. McGuinness

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#TheHumoursOfWhiskey #WhiskeyMeBoys #Hosier

[benjaminlyons]

Collection of Irish Song Lyrics
Humors of Whiskey (the)
Let your quacks and newspapers be cutting their capers
About curing the vapors the scratch and the gout
With their medical potions, their serums and their lotions
Upholding their notions, they're mighty put out.

Who can tell the true physic to all that's pathetic
And pitch to the divil, cramp, colic and spleen
You'll know it I think if you take a big drink
With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poteen

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh what botheration, no dose in the nation
Can give consolation like poteen me boys.

No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic
Or bodies pathetic can give such a bloom
As the sweet by the powers in the garden of flowers
Ever gave their own bowers such a darling perfume
And this liquid so rare if you willingly share
To be taking your hair when it's frizzled and dead
Oh the sod has the merit to yield the true spirit
So strong it will shake all the hairs from your head

Then stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh since its perfection, no doctor's direction
Can cleanse the complexion like poteen me boys

While a child in me cradle, me nurse with her ladle
Was filling my mouth with a notion of pap
When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle
I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap

On the floor I lay crawlin' and screaming and bawling
'Til me mother and father were called to the fore
All sobbing and sighing they feared I was dying
But soon found I only was crying for more.

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh lord how they'd chuckle if babes in their truckle
They only could suckle on poteen me boys

Through my youthful aggression, through times of depression
My childhood's impression still clung to my mind
And at school or at college the basis of knowledge
I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined

And as older I'm growing times ever bestowin'
On Erin's potation, a flavor so fine
And how ere they may lecture on jove and his nectar
Itself is the only true liquid divine

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh lord, 'tis the right thing for courting and fighting
There's nowt so exciting as poteen me boys.

Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle
What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream
What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal
What's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam

What'll make the lame walk, what will make the dumb talk,
The elixir of life and philospher's stone
And what helped Mr. Brunnell to build the Thames Tunnel
Wasn't it poteen from ould Inisowen

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh lord, it's no wonder, if lightning and thunder
Weren't made from the plunder of poteen me boys.

You maidens pathetic, with lovers athletic
For liquid cosmetic, you can't beat the drop
With a glow to your cheek, it will make your heart leap
It'll quiet a stallion or cure an old cob
At the mouth you would drool, be reduced to a fool
You'd kick up your heels and you'd peel to the buff
Then 'tis he'd be pathetic while you'd be athletic
If only you'd take a few drops of the stuff

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
For there's nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky
It soon separates all the men from the boys.

[kimamato]

This kinda singing as a whiskey ad would make sales skyrocket imo

[danielmorgan]

As a minor with parents who don't drink, I have a question. Is whiskey as good as this song makes it seem. Because every time I listen to this, I find myself reaching for a small glass bottle that isn't there, then getting sad because I miss something I've never known. Congrats to you, Colm, and to whoever wrote this, for thoroughly confluzzling me.

[indycorsair]

I CANT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM FOR THIS! Ever since the short version I have been wanting the full one! Christmas has come early!

[JanGudme]

For those that want to read as they sing along, here are the lyrics. If Colm can pin this or add to the description, I'm sure people would appreciate it.

Let your quacks and newspapers be cutting their capers
About curing the vapors the scratch and the gout
With their medical potions, their serums and their lotions
Upholding their notions, they're mighty put out.


Who can tell the true physic to all that's pathetic
And pitch to the divil, cramp, colic and spleen
You'll know it I think if you take a big drink
With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poteen


So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh what botheration, no dose in the nation
Can give consolation like poteen me boys.


No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic
Or bodies pathetic can give such a bloom
As the sweet by the powers in the garden of flowers
Ever gave their own bowers such a darling perfume


And this liquid so rare if you willingly share
To be taking your hair when it's frizzled and dead
Oh the sod has the merit to yield the true spirit
So strong it will shake all the hairs from your head


Then stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh since its perfection, no doctor's direction
Can cleanse the complexion like poteen me boys


While a child in me cradle, me nurse with her ladle
Was filling my mouth with a notion of pap
When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle
I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap


On the floor I lay crawlin' and screaming and bawling
'Til me mother and father were called to the fore
All sobbing and sighing they feared I was dying
But soon found I only was crying for more

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh lord how they'd chuckle if babes in their truckle
They only could suckle on poteen me boys


Through my youthful aggression, through times of depression
My childhood's impression still clung to my mind
And at school or at college the basis of knowledge
I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined


And as older I'm growing times ever bestowin'
On Erin's potation, a flavor so fine
And how ere they may lecture on jove and his nectar
Itself is the only true liquid divine


So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh lord, 'tis the right thing for courting and fighting
There's nowt so exciting as poteen me boys.


Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle
What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream
What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal
What's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam


What'll make the lame walk, what will make the dumb talk,
The elixir of life and philospher's stone
And what helped Mr. Brunnell to build the Thames Tunnel
Wasn't it poteen from ould Inisowen


So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh lord, it's no wonder, if lightning and thunder
Weren't made from the plunder of poteen me boys.


You maidens pathetic, with lovers athletic
For liquid cosmetic, you can't beat the drop
With a glow to your cheek, it will make your heart leap
It'll quiet a stallion or cure an old cob


At the mouth you would drool, be reduced to a fool
You'd kick up your heels and you'd peel to the buff
Then 'tis he'd be pathetic while you'd be athletic
If only you'd take a few drops of the stuff


So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
For there's nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky
It soon separates all the men from the boys.

[tyrannicaltyr]

I’ve just been listening all week to hozier and Colm’s 1 Minute blips of whiskey. So imagine my Sunday morning bloss when seeing he did a full rendition. Absolutely Phenomenal.

[meghancowens]

The metamorphosis is complete. Colm is officially a reincarnated medieval Seanchaí!!

[deusvult]

For what it’s worth you and your singing 100% inspired a bard I play in D&D, and I can say with full confidence he has turned into one of my most well written characters.
Thanks for al the work you put into this stuff!!

[Jacobgrimoire]

Can’t wait to master this song to sing around the campfire at my next LARP event!

[Shawnakin]

As I sit in my garage here in Kentucky, watching a spring storm, and having just been to Ireland I did a search for this song as I sip a wee dram of bourbon (I mean I am from Kentucky remember...) and this was just lovely - slainte!

[ef]

It is as good as he sings. There’s nothing that’s been for me more in life. I would say I’m Irish but my ancestors crossed the Atlantic in the early 1900s so I’m as American as it gets. We still cling to our roots though

[grimwriter]

I’ve loved this song since I was an extremely wee lassie, and only recently rediscovered it because of your first upload of the song…which was flawlessly spectacular. Full version now? Sign me up!! This is gonna be unparalleled!! Edit: Better than I could have possibly imagined.

[ClayBrophy]

From a brophy
From o-brothe,

This id accurate.

We are named after a famous lagoon in Ireland. I can tell you this is culturally accurate

I’m an American, Marijuana farmer, but my Irish heritage is very prevalent.

[shanellaj]

The smile on my face for this full version with the Celtic/Irish accents is to be joyful about. Thank you my good sir.

[JuiceofVM]

The bard himself can hit the highs of the Misty mountains, and the lows of Moria. I tip my hat to you, Sir Colm McGuinness.

[hNor]

For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Has to be one of the best lines ever writen.

[zippyman]

354 good folks here on Sunday 14 November 2021, Colm's 28th birthday, for the premiere of "The Humours of Whiskey" (full version). Savannah & Colm are in Brighton at a hotel with "Nougat" the hotel cat! Their Air BnB ghosted them and they had to find a hotel after a full day of travelling. A most stressful day. *Happy Birthday.* Generous viewers donated a total of 421.99 to make this day even more special.

[urnldqx]

I don't know what it is about Colm singing Irish tunes but it's always so special...

Is it pride or joy to be Irish? Mayhaps it's the instruments, composition, lyrics of the Emerald Isle? OR MAYBE...it's the sheer, raw, epic power of knowing he has Skellig Gift store literally putting the clothes on his back?? #IrishGifts

[davekirkland]

we seem to have lost these old songs that are sung with pride and tell a story about history. and their just plain fun to listen too. and your accent just makes them better.

[intra]

I don't drink alcohol, but I can't get enough of this song! Love it