Living with OCD and Magical Thinking: My Story

In this video, I am talking about my experience with OCD. I got diagnosed with OCD when I was a teenager and have struggled with magical thinking, intrusive thoughts, and many other symptoms of OCD.

You are not alone if you experience similar things and there is nothing to be ashamed of!

If anything in this video resonated with you or if you have any thoughts, let me know in the comments section below!

00:00 - intro
00:25 - what is magical thinking?
00:48 - intrusive thoughts
01:28 - my OCD diagnosis
02:18 - childhood trauma
02:58 - my OCD compulsions
05:43 - what causes OCD?
06:28 - what can you do?

About Me:
Hello! I first heard my tinnitus back in 2020 and it completely took over my life. I felt so hopeless, alone and terrified. I thought I would never be able to enjoy existing ever again and had to navigate many challenges to get to where I am today. I am now in a place where my tinnitus comes and goes and I can take a no-big-deal approach towards the sound through self-work and therefore I can enjoy my life again and not feel all of the difficult emotions that I once did.

I also have struggled with severe anxiety and OCD. I want to try and be a glimmer of hope for those who are struggling and especially those with tinnitus, by showing that it's possible to feel better and overcome tinnitus without pushing bullsh*t quick fixes that don't work. I want to share different practices and things that I am experimenting with in my own life that could help you on your journey. I believe that its necessary to approach healing holistically for true progress. I want to help people feel less alone in the suffering that they experience, to build a community and find more joy together in the chaos of life! You've got this. Stay hopeful.

Subscribe to my YouTube channel for more content like this.

[aymenboussouar]

The issue is you see signs everyday it's a hell on earth

[CARLYIE]

You seriously couldn’t have said it any better, I’m currently going through this in my life and it feels like I’m all alone since nobody understands your thoughts. It sometimes feels like you’re being cursed, I’m still recovering and hoping I’ll be able to overcome it one day or have much less thoughts.

[ThisOffendsMeTV]

It’s so interesting to hear other experiences. I’ve had such weird compulsions that have nothing to do with anything, yet felt the need to. Putting socks on, shoes, boxers, putting soap on my hands in the shower, brushing my beard, opening a lock on a locker, turning an Xbox on etc. numbers, phrases, good words to counter bad words (think of life to counter death, healthy to counter unhealthy etc) we are fully aware of what it is and how it doesn’t correlate between reality…but anxiety comes in to smash your stomach and heart lmao

I’ve been suffering from since I was able to remember, earliest memories. It’s gotten a lot. A LOT better these days, but sometimes it pops up. OCD and Anxiety helped a lot. Nathan is a saint. Anyways, hope you’re doing well❤️

[กรกฎ-ฮส]

I've struggle with it for a long long time, even in this moment I'm typing. However it's make me comfortable when came to think that it's not only me in the world who suffered in the same condition and many people try to help other with care and kindness. It's means so much for me. Thank you very much.

[debraharwood]

Thank you for everything u r saying to help with this tinnitus, l will start trying to help myself instead of everybody else!

[leonaadeea]

it helps knowing you're not alone. i've been dealing with ocd and anxiety for a while now, 2019 is when it took over my life.
a saying i like to use a lot is (when it happens i'll deal with it) for many of these thoughts, this one alone has helped me through alot.

relapses are a struggle for me and it always feels like i've lost all my progress when these happen.
watching videos of other people's journey helps me feel not alone and gives me motivation to keep doing therapy when times are rough

[kaitlynr]

34 years and diagnosed as a child. Thank you for sharing ❤

[hspparadise]

We have OCD, ASD, cPTSD, and D.I.D. Thank you for making this! We also have a specific cross walk compulsion (dancing the walk like an Egyptian dance move from the 80’s 😅) and also we compulsively pick up trash too! 😮‍💨

[mfam]

So many direct parallels to your story. It's good to know that There are other people just as weird as us and there's beauty in that. When we notice we don't suffer alone. It allows us to use one another's experiences as stepping stones and ledges to climb up out of the abyss. It's not easy, but every day you make strides toward a healthier mind and a healthier you, you get a bit closer to the person you want to be.

[katem]

my beautiful weirdo sister. This video is awesome.

I'm so sorry you've had to navigate such distressing terrain within your mind. God damn our minds can get us into such tricky places...

I hope your video helps people see that they're not alone and that they're not broken. As you said, just as our brains were wired through early experience to cope in ways that may distress us, so too can we guide our brains gradually to heal, to experience ourselves and the world in new ways over time. We can heal. There is hope. But it takes time, effort and a bit of courage.


I hope your videos inspire even an ounce of self-compassion in those who see them. We're all struggling and we don't choose to suffer in the ways that we do. But we can choose to make small changes that move us towards a better place.

Keep it up Alice <3

[eyar]

I cried when my rituals are repeated I cant get away till Im satisfied

[Mikeybooks]

Im sitting here with my partner, and i have debilitating magical thinking ocd, and we both were just wide eyed, you described everything i also do. Seeing you so open and your message actually made me tear up haha, i wish there was more i could possibly say to let you know how amazing and needed this was, but i dont feel alone. My psrtner has been such a rock for me, even with something as silly as my foot taps, checking and my constant anxiety caused by the compulsions.

For whatever its worth, thank you. I really needed to hear this.

[Whoeverwhateverwhenever]

So glad I found your channel today! All the best 😊

[OPA]

I can't really relate to OCD or Magical Thinking. However, I can feel you, as I am familiar with anxiety. Alice, I would like to speak to you directly: There is something comforting in your video, soothing almost. You share your vulnerability with many people including me. That means a lot to me. I am touched. Thank you.

[debmoyle-iymr]

Great content and well spoken. You are brave.

[silentjellybean]

So inspirational to be able to hear your experiences, best wishes.

[Stephen]

The worst is when there’s a ‘false correlation’ when you’re doing exposure therapy. Happened to me this week and one of the bad things I feared would happen happened. Destabilized me/all the progress I was making :/

[SmallSpoonBrigade]

OCD is not fun at all. The only thing that really helped keep it in check is to just accept that it might happen. It's not fun to leave the house and just have to accept that I might come back to find my house has burned down because I forgot to turn off the stove or that I'll be burglarized because I forgot to lock the door.

I'll kind of operate switches as slowly as possible in order to give ti time to register that I've turned off the switch.

It definitely isn't easy, but it beats having it spiral out of control the way that it otherwise does.

[travellersph]

Intrusive thought almost killing me it's very scary and unacceptable

[ohmannotnow]

I noticed though, when i acknowledge it by speaking about it, describing it or talking about it, it somehow helps.