MEN & FEMININITY

oh, just another one of those sex negative double standards...

A big thanks to Anna for making this video more accessible with English and French captioning!

VIDEO SUMMARY
In this video I talk about the aversion to femininity as expressed through product marketing, increased violence toward male bodied people who are feminine, and shaming of women who are very feminine. I urge everyone to question these notions and explore the sexist sentiments underlying them: that masculinity is more valuable and femininity is shameful. Do what you want, be what you will, and to hell with the gender police. ;)

[themagicalfox]

I hate it when people assume all feminine girly girls are mean, high maintenance Regina George type of girls, huge difference between being girly and being a bitch. My little sister is girly but she's very sporty and athletic and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty

[SteMail]

Totally agree. I got mocked in school for being friends with a lot of girls and playing the trumpet. It's completely ridiculous that some men get judged on their masculinity instead of their personality.

[tuyb]

Being a man as myself, I really appreciate this video because I like a lot of 'girly' things which is seen as socially unacceptable for men. It's discrimination. that isn't necessary

[katiemadeavideoyep]

people who don't understand... She isn't saying men shouldn't be masculine, she's just saying that men should not feel like they have to reject or demonise anything feminine out of fear of seeming like less of a man. All she is saying is that women can dress or act masculine, so why can't men do the same? So much for the man hating argument... 

[kenzijeanis]

As a transgender, I've always hated the fact that men are not allowed to be feminine. Hell, my stepfather would never let me grow my hair out, and I was never able to buy makeup or carry anything even remotely purse-like. Even now, as a 19 year old, I get weird looks all the time because I have really long hair, I giggle, and I walk/stand/sit in a feminine way. Gawd, I hate society. <_<

[spaceOwaste]

Im a really feminine guy. I dont wear dresses or makeup or anything but im just comfortable with my sexuality and am really not masculine and thus my high school thinks im gay, I get people coming up to me constantly going "Luke your gay?" nope just feminine thanks tho for your consideration about my personal life

[audreyadams]

Yes exactly, even though women face lots of issues but this issue of the society putting down feminine men is double standards, when women can get away with masculine clothes or attitudes.

[gisellefendi]

I completely agree on this. I'm tired of femininity being seen as something terrible. When my friends or my sisters wear male clothing like a men's t-shirt or men's jeans, no one says anything. But when I wear tight jeggings or wear make up, I'm immediately bashed and called a bunch of names. Like when women have masculine traits or present themselves in a more masculine way, they aren't bashed and are sometimes praised yet as soon as a guy presents himself in a more feminine way they're immediately bashed.

[Estarile]

As a side note about femininity being "shameful". Strong female characters seem (to me at the very least) to have to throw away their femininity. Girly characters are often seen as silly or weak. Why can't we have a kick ass princess who also love things like pink, or makeup and such? 

[thomasderzweifler]

Thank you so much for the video! This world needs a lot more femininity which comes peaceful and loving. And I feel it inside: I want to wear skirts and beautiful clothes, want to be vulnerable, want to appear as a sensitive person. I guess this is just a reaction to a cold world.

[RightInFromDenmark]

i think it's weird that "boobs" are feminine ... because the only difference between male fat sacks and female fat sacks is that we produce the hormones to make milk. they have the equipment too, so technically, a male breast and a female breast (when not lactating) is the same thing. just had to say

[Mezame]

I love it when my male partner wears a skirt. It makes him feel happy to try out things that are supposedly "feminine", and none of it makes me any less attracted to him. If he's happy that's all I need to love him for the way he is.

[billiechristine]

I really like this. I am female and do have some very feminine personality traits. My hair and dress, however, often gets me mistaken for a male. So when I speak people tend to freak out and ask if what gender I am, as well as other strange questions. It weirds people out.
Also, I personally like guys with more feminine features. Guys who can be gentle and open about their feelings. As well as guys who take care of their appearance, even if they do wear makeup. I also am not really attracted to the whole body builder thing, it just doesn't work for me on a personal level. 

[SunnyB_adventures]

My dad does the cooking in my house and has all my life, he also took care of me when I was little because my parents decided they wanted my mum to go back to work instead of my dad and whenever I tell people this they say things like, "why doesn't your mum do the cooking? That's what normal people do." and I also have a friend who's dad does the cooking but that is the only other person I've heard of who's dad does cooking and it disgusts me that in the all boys school near by they don't continue food tech (cooking) after year 9. COOKING IS LITERALLY PART OF SURVIVAL, why is it suddenly 'wrong' when men do

[Shafliez]

It's really ridiculous how agressively many guys protect their masculinity and it's funny how people also expect men to do that. People often tease me about my girlish side and I often get "cmoon seriously? Get more manly" - comments and they often  seem little confused because I don't care and that I'm proud of my girly side :D I guess everyone are just so used to guys protecting their masculinity with any cost that it's weird for people when someone isn't. Therefore I've started to bring out my girlishness much more to increase the tolerance. It's actually quite surprising how well it works! :)

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

There definitely is a fear or almost hatred of the feminine, I agree. Somehow we see these things as okay for women to do, but not men. We want equality? We need to start by educating people against a fear of the feminine. Not with hate, not with anger towards the masculine, but with acceptance and tolerance towards the feminine.

I like you, Laci. You discuss issues important to everyone of any gender, and you do it in a calm, rational way, which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of people online who discuss gender politics, sexual issues, and all the baggage that comes with it. Feminists and MRAs, take note - more this, less of the angry insult wars. :)

[DaRush-The_Soviet_Gamer]

Yeah it sucks that even in this day and age men and women are still oppressed into gender roles and are not free to act the way they feel in the moment as all of us have masculine and feminine feelings.

[VoluntraryismNottheState]

Laci doesn't like "hypermasculinity, " but doesn't like when wome are crisiticized for being too feminine. Yeah, that's not a contradiction at all. LOL!

[autumnj]

I'm a guy and I wore a purple kimono on my first day of senior year of high school, and there were a number of people who posted pictures of me on Twitter and Instagram with captions like "shit like this smh". Girls at my school, though, wear guys' clothes all the time, like button-up shirts or male-cut t-shirts, and are treated no differently for it. Thanks for the video, Laci.

[soccer]

Here is the thing. I am totally 100% for both sexes, woman and man to express whatever kind of feminine or masculine traits they want. Because those things are social constructs. If a man wants to wear a dress, fine who cares. What I have a problem with is when a man says, "I feel like a woman because I wear a dress" because this is offensive to women. Not all women like feminine things - such as dresses. It's a bad stereotype, and like Laci said. Embrace whatever feminine or masculine traits you want. But don't say that you're the opposite sex just because that sex is tied together with a social construct. Sex =/= gender. Gender is a social construct, i.e, feminine and masculinity.