Devouring Mother

Short clip from my video outlining 'The Devouring Mother'. Watch the full video here:

#mentalhealth #enmeshment #devouringmother

[mellowenigma]

My mom never let me shut my own room door. I also was never allowed to have opinions different to hers. She would voyeurise me and use my school activities as a way to seek attention. She would tell me who to date and get mad at me for not wanting to date them. The first guy molested me, the second one raped me. She wreaked havoc on my life and now I can barely relate to anyone or make friends. I have emotional flashbacks and the slightest things set me off. I have trouble asking for what I need and discerning what's too personal and what's ok to tell people. I raised a rape baby as a result of the rape and all she cared about was using him for attention and virtue signaling. I didn't grieve when she finally died.

[privateprivate]

I think people can become confused also. They think of a devouring mother as the typical stage mother, where the mother is rather obviously living vicariously, through her daughter. But it can manifest, in other ways.

My mother was a bit devouring, when I was a child, but I and everyone else simply took it as excellent parent interest and devotion to her children. It also wasn’t until I hit my fifties, that I became well aware that she was vacillating between using me and discarding me. She was no longer the devouring mother. Not a loving mother. Just another person using me, like it was just a job.

This is one of the multitude of reasons why I left her. Because, as it became crystal clear that she no longer saw me as her child, even though I didn’t need her, like I did when I was a child, she was not only no longer my mother, but an enemy, who very much wanted to clip my wings, while eclipsing my future. It wasn’t just that she needed my help, to resurrect her hobby. It’s that she wanted to overcome that I’d turned creativity into my livelihood. For her transference of my skills to her and leaving me in a situation where I not only would never outshine her again, but fail epically at life, was afoot. It is why the often offered phrase of, “But she’s your mother, ” falls on deaf ears for me. She was no longer my mother.

[hope]

Basically, they think they own your life.

[ItIsJustJudy]

Whew, finally something I cannot relate to.

[Lyrielonwind]

But the victims of devouring mothers can't talk about it because society can't stand knowing about it, otherwise we will be blame for not being good servants or paying our karmic debt in case you are talking with a New Ager.
We are not allowed to stain their Disney's sterotype idea of motherhood, so we have to deal with our mother's gaslighting, our core shame produced by mom and society, since they are not going to allow other's experiences ruin their fantasies...and I know there are good mothers but not all of them deserve being called mothers.

[mariamabidha]

Husband and mother in law...typical example

[mellowenigma]

My mom never let me shut my own room door. I also was never allowed to have opinions different to hers. She would voyeurise me and use my school activities as a way to seek attention. She would tell me who to date and get mad at me for not wanting to date them. The first guy molested me, the second one raped me. She wreaked havoc on my life and now I can barely relate to anyone or make friends. I have emotional flashbacks and the slightest things set me off. I have trouble asking for what I need and discerning what's too personal and what's ok to tell people. I raised a rape baby as a result of the rape and all she cared about was using him for attention and virtue signaling. I didn't grieve when she finally died.