How to Talk to Your Kids About Dating After Divorce #MarriedToATherapist

How to Talk to Your Kids About Dating After Divorce #MarriedToATherapist //

Have you wondered how to talk to your kids about dating after divorce? If you are divorced parents dating again and want to learn how to tell your child you're dating after divorce, watch this video.

#MendedLight
#MarriedToATherapist
#TalkToYourKidsAboutDatingAfterDivorce

[mythoughtswilloffendyou]

Suggestion video: how to handle (difficult) inlaws and keep a healthy balance/ boundaries with them in your own marriage. TY for the video

[TheFranchiseCA]

My sons have another Dad before, too; he just happens to be dead. My wife was a young widow when we started dating, and so they often refer to me as their father, but address me by my name. And this is fine, they are people and it's important for them to have age-appropriate control over their own lives.

[DLRS]

Odd to watch today after Jonathan announced their separation yesterday. 😢I truly hope he’s happy and doing well 😊

[Houkuko]

My dad remarried when I was 8, and I have almost no memories of my stepmother before their marriage. He used to bowl, and that's how they met, and that was the only circumstance I knew her in. I'd occasionally go with him and hang out in the arcade or read at the table, and I sorta knew the faces of everyone he played with, but I was never really "introduced" to them, certainly didn't know he was dating any of them. Then one day he comes outside with me while I was reading (something he never did) and showed me a ring, and asked me if I thought "T" would like it. I vaguely knew the name, but didn't exactly know who he was talking about, but I felt like it was rude to say that, so I just said yes. He asked me if I understood that this meant T would be my new mom, and again I didn't get it but just agreed out of politeness. I never really liked my dad, and I had a weird idea about mothers in general because up to that point I barely knew mine, and only knew the terrible lies he told me about her (he wasn't a great guy). So the concept of someone being my "new mom" didn't impact me at that point. Then came the day of the wedding. I was tucked into a dress that wasn't the right size (they never had a fitting for me), and strolled me down the aisle by myself as the flower girl (I was never prepared for this), and watched a bunch of strangers cry while my dad said important things to someone I only sorta recognized. Then I remember learning on the ride from the chapel to the reception, that while dad and T were on their honeymoon, my grandmother (who Dad and I lived with and pretty much raised me because Dad didn't want to) was going to be packing up my stuff and moving me away to a new house, and then it was going to be just me, Dad, and T after that.

There's a wedding photo of the three of us walking into the reception hall where you can tell I'm trying not to cry (and failing), and the family always cooed and sighed over that photo, about how "emotional" I was, how happy I must have been to be crying like that. I've never had the heart to tell any of them that I was crying because I was terrified.

[Aever]

My mom would date when we were little, but it was only mentioned when she was a few months in and knew the relationship was serious. Introductions came at an even later time to allow us to get used to the idea. We felt safe and respected, so I love the way she handled it. When I see people date someone new every other week and introduce every single one of the partners to their children, my heart aches. It's so hard for the little ones to keep up, let alone having to bond with a new person time and time again for them to end up disappearing just as quickly as they came. So sad ...

[anxen]

It's really tricky but one imperative is to protect your child and not allow the new adult to parent suddenly or changing how you normally parent because of your new partner having opinions about how things should be.

[elementalistjinta]

My husband and I waited almost 7 months into dating before I met his kids from his previous marriage. I respected his role as a parent for them and I grew up in a divorced family so I knew I didn't want to meet them until I knew it was serious. Eight years later we're married and expecting our first together and his children from that last marriage are so excited and love our blended family

[mark.daniel]

I would love to see you guys cover the subject of dating someone who has been married before … how can you tell if this person is in a healthy place and ready for a new relationship? what questions are fair to ask and what questions are not? what do you need to know to be fair to them and to yourself?

[JosetteFret]

You should address situations where the person you’re marrying treats your child poorly.

[HouseMDaddict]

The parent trap (both versions) was a great movie of the importance of the small conversations. The dad wanted to remarry right away and tried to force the kids to just be okay with it, without really having conversations with them until the end.

[themacauslands]

Alicia, how does your hair always look so awesome?! You two are adorable. 💙

[IzzyCanterra]

I noticed two random things in this video.
First, you both look like you could be painted into paintings from a couple hundred years ago. It's actually fascinating. Noticed that when Jono looked at Alicia from that angle.
Second thing, Jono looks at Alicia with so much tenderness and love in his eyes, it's so beautiful!😍🥰🤩

[mika]

Alicia’s “Not today.” is hilariously savage😂😂😂

[KxNOxUTA]

It's difficult even if you're absolutely on board with the divorce/seperation when a new person comes in. Just because there's an instinctive fear that the bit of remaining stability may go overboard, depending on what that person is like. And what role they'll want to take.

The whole act of taking in a "stranger" into your family system, as a kid, is simply difficult, even if they are nice and do it right. And that's not necessarily in a bad way. It's just one of these transitions in life that we learn to handle!

Meanwhile, it really sucks for the parent if new partner and kids (or even pets) don't get along. No matter which side they take, they'll have an upset someone on their heands.

I'm really grateful this is one worry off my list. Simply since kids were "off the table" for me from the start. So even if a relationship should bother to come in again at some point 😅, that is one less thing to worry about. They'd have to get along with the pets, though! 🙃 If only love alone was enough to rock a relationship! Wouldn't that be awesome?!

[LivingItUp]

Before my parents got separated my mom had an affair with a married man, left my dad and then months later told me that her new partner was moving in and that they were going to get married. I was eight and became so overwhelmed I started crying. My dad always just seemed to have random women in and out of our lives. I didn’t really care about him or his partners or when he got remarried. They were great at displaying what not to do

[adelehazeleyes]

Thank you for how adoring you are about people making choices that are right for them and freedom of feelings.

[plantyfan]

I have no plans for divorce or dating but I think this was a really good video for general knowledge for what we all may encounter in our lives, and communication with kids. Many of us very late Gen X/early Millennial parents are working with a sparse toolbox because the focus of parenting has been changing from "get them to adulthood" to "get them to adulthood more functional than I am" and what we have to reference from personal experience great! It's why we're working hard to do better because mental health is how we are choosing to provide for our kids. I like that you encourage smaller conversations to build toward the bigger ones -- even if they are difficult. Putting them off will make the difficult conversations that much more difficult.

[AMK]

As the kid in this situation that would have defenetivly helped me. The first longterm partner was when I was small so I don't remember but it was never a good relationship between me and him. By the time of the second one I was older like 14 and I knew that she was going out and staying overnight sometimes. And then someday we were just intuduced that that was the new lifepartner and we would be moving in with him.
The problem was also that he was older and didn't want any children in his life. He really dislikes it. They broke up once and we moved out. After that I started to have a relationship agrain but I said I would not live with him again. And so I moved out with 16 and got my own flat and they moved in together. They broke up a second time but after this time my mom accepted that he just doesn't go well with our family neither her friends and now she keeps it completely separated. I think it is totally fine that she has a partner and she has to be happy with him but I will refuses any contact with that man. I think it is very nice of me that I even accept contact with the father of my brother even thoug he mistreated me.

[meganexelby]

I allow my kids to meet 'suitors' fairly early on for a few reasons.
My kids are teenagers, but with special needs, and being a single mum, I didnt get any time on my own. So if they couldnt meet and be around my kids, we didnt really get to spend /any/ time together.
No family to take kids, no $$ for babysitters, etc...
Also I dont tend to date guys I've never met before, I tend to have known them a while, and the kids have already met them, etc...

But also, I want my kids to understand that people come and go in your life, and the world doesnt end because someone you like moves on.

I was not raised like that, and I have serious abandonment issues, for various reasons... and I want my kids to learn to deal with people moving on, in a healthy way. So I model healthy moving on for them, and they are allowed to be sad, but we dont wallow and our life doesnt end because of it.

Its never like 'this could be your next daddy!' Kind of thing, coz thats silly, and they dont take any kind of parental role, etc...

We've not made ot to the point of potential marriage and such yet... so not dealt with that yet

[charisamartin]

This was a beautiful fly over to a difficult topic. Thank you both for sharing your story! ♥️