Brenna Twohy - Anxiety: A Ghost Story

Brenna Twohy, performing at NPS 2015 in Oakland, CA.

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Button Poetry is committed to developing a coherent and effective system of production, distribution, promotion and fundraising for spoken word and performance poetry.

We seek to showcase the power and diversity of voices in our community. By encouraging and broadcasting the best and brightest performance poets of today, we hope to broaden poetry's audience, to expand its reach and develop a greater level of cultural appreciation for the art form.

[melissaarmendariz]

"To love me is to love a haunted house. It's fun to visit once a year but no one wants to live there."

[juliea]

"when you say 'tell me about the bad days, ' sounds like all the neighborhood kids daring each other to ring the doorbell"
damn. i felt that so hard.

[wanpoetry]

"To love me is to love a haunted house...no one wants to live there."

[horsecrazy]

How are these people clapping, I'm sitting here breathless trying to compose myself because I felt it so much

[halleyperisian]

"Darling, this love will not cure me." so powerful

[crazychasinator]

"That my anxiety is a camera that shows everyone I love as bones" SO true. Well said.

[EnglishMuffin]

This made me cry. Living with anxiety is incredibly hard, and explaining it to others can be impossible. This was beautifully written. Thank you for this.

[TheJazz]

I was loudly sobbing by the end of this. I have severe anxiety and I have always had this tragic character flaw of assuming I'm unlovable. Well, for the first time I finally found someone who truly loves my haunted house and you cannot begin to imagine how much I related to this poem. As soon as I came I will be showing him this. ❤️

[JojoLorin]

"When you say to the ghost, 'If you're staying, then you better make room'." -this kills me

[ariamortenson]

We have got to talk about the kids in all those Goosebumps books. For
example, if your family vacation is to an amusement park called
Horrorland, and your station wagon explodes in the parking lot upon
arrival, maybe shrugging it off, buying an extra-large popcorn and
heading directly to the Deadly Doom Slide is not your best possible
course of action. Or, if you steal a weird camera from your creepy
neighbour's basement and all the pictures you take show bad things
happening, like decapitation and also tofurkey. Stop. Taking.
Pictures.Or, if you move into your ne house and there's a bunch of small
children already living in your bedroom that your parents can't see,
maybe don't just grab a juice box and go to play in the cemetery that
is  in your backyard. Or, when I tell you I have a cemetery in my
backyard, and in my front yard, and in my bedroom, when I tell you that
trauma is a steep slide you cannot see the bottom of, that my anxiety is
a camera that shows everyone I love as bones, when I tell you that
panic is a stubborn phantom, that she will grab onto me and not let go
for months, this is the part of the story where everyone is telling you
to run. To love me is to love a haunted house. It's fun to visit once a
year, but no one wants to live there. And when you say, "Tell me about
the bad days, " it sounds like all the neighbourhood kids daring each
other tp ring the doorbell. And you love me like the family walking
through Horrorland holding hands. You are not stupid, or careless, or
even brave. You've just never seen the close-up of a haunting. Darling,
this love will not cure me. This love will not scrape the blood from the
baseboards, but it will turn all the lights on. It will bring basil
back from the Farmer's Market and it will plant it in every windowsill.
It is the kind of love that gives me goosebumps. When you say to the
ghost, "If you're staying, then you'd better make room, " and we kiss
against the walls that, tonight, are not shaking, so we turn the music
up, and we dance to Miles Davis, and you say, "My god. This house. The
way that it stands even in the months that no one goes into or comes out
of it." How reckless. The way that I love, like the first chapter of a
ghost story, like a gentle hand reaching out of a grave.

[MiriamGallacher]

"and when you say 'tell me about the bad days' it sounds like all the neighbourhood kids daring each other to ring the doorbell."

[sugarhoneyicedtea]

This made me cry. I just found these Button Poetry videos and I love them. They are so empowering. Most of all they can help those who might not understand the struggle that people who suffer from anxiety, depression, OCD, eating disorders, and any other type of mental illness face every minute of every day. Maybe these videos will open the eyes of the people who do not believe these disorders are illnesses but simply problems that we have created ourselves in order to get attention and to have people feel sorry for us. Having anxiety is not just being nervous and having depression isn't just being sad. They are things that can control your entire life. I wish mental illness was just a made up thing but it's not.

[CinnamonToast]

"anxiety is a camera that shows everyone I love as bones"
wow

[MishaDKroon]

Ironically enough, this performance makes me love her more.
'To love me is to love a haunted house' goddamn 😦😍

[faeroxi]

My Anxiety is like a person. Comes with traits and bad things. Mine is bland. It's has black hair with a fringe. Gauges. A white shirt. Black jeans. Dark blue eyes. Anxiety is like a bully. It may not always talk to you but will pop up at random moments ruining your day. Anxiety is like a judgemental person making you question every little thing you do. Anxiety is like a child calling you names, but not knowing it hurts. Anxiety is like a friend. Like on who helps you decide your hair, makeup and clothes. Anxiety is a person who doesn't leave you alone.
Anxiety is like s car. But yours the scratching post

[michaelspencer]

I have been coming back to this poem for 5 years now and it has never disappointed

[NaokoSword]

"The kind of Love that gives me Goosebumps"
My favorite line. Gets me every time.

[KawaiiPinkPunkStar]

If this had been me reciting poetry in front of an audience, I'd have gone crazy with anxiety. I'm glad she was able to do it.

[xNoToUrZx]

I teared up a bit. I can relate so much and I just. Thank you for putting it into words.

[cpoterry]

Wow, just wow. This is such an amazing work.
Something that can seem impossible to explain to those who wish to love you, yet she handled it so beautifully.
Thank you so much Brenna.