How To Handle the Terrible Twos | CloudMom

Hi everybody. Hope your day is going great! Answering a question from a YouTube viewer today Crystal Overbaugh: "How do you handle the terrible twos?" Crystal, as I explain in today's video, my joke about 2 year old tantrums is that they become 3 year old tantrums, and then 4 year old tantrums, and so on, right up until college. A lot to look forward to right? Ha ha!

Seriously, this is a classic phrase that describes when a toddler starts having tantrums and fits. And when this first happened to me, it was so shocking. All of a sudden, my easy going child would be laying down on the floor and kicking and screaming and I was like "What are you doing? Acting? Is this SNL?"

As I explain in today's video, the terrible twos is a term that was coined to describe toddler tantrums back in the 1950's. This was likely due to so many families at the time trying to live up to a picture perfect image, and when children stopped behaving like compliant babies, moms did not know what to do!

What experts say is really happening is that the child has gotten more mobile and is testing limits, so we parents have to say "NO" a lot. Meanwhile, children lack the language to articulate their feelings, which is frustrating for them so they tend to scream and have fits and tantrums. The question for us is what can we do?

In today's video, I describe what I've learned and what's worked for me. To start, praise the good behavior. Second, wait out the fits and don't react. For more details and tips, watch. Oh, and please weigh in. How do you handle it when your kid starts to act like a crazy person?

Thanks for watching!

xo Melissa

WATCH Dealing with Temper Tantrums In Public!

WATCH How to Deal with Tantrums at Home!

Stay tuned for more how-to video guides for parents, from one mom to you!
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[agelinabanks]

It stresses me out that some people don’t understand when your outside and your kid has a tantrums are soo fast to judge

[sirensparkle]

i think im going to fall apart. im a tough Cookie but i cried in the car today because I'm so tired of the screaming.

[King_Goblino]

It's ruining my life! I have never been under so much stress and depression in my whole life.

[Dollyloconaws]

My child is in her terrible twos and it’s driving me nuts 😭

[annaf]

I witnessed a small miracle today. After a horrible couple of days when my 2 year old didn't have a single meal at the table, just accepting milk and little snacks while he was in his stroller, followed by a morning full of tantrums from the moment he insisted on getting up at 5.30, he woke up from his nap today all cuddly and happy .... and the moment I wanted to dress him he started throwing fits again. I was so exhausted I couldn't even feel angry anymore. So I was just like, listen, I can't deal with this anymore. Will you come over here and put on your pants? No? Then your bike is gone until tomorrow. How about now? No? Now your firetruck is gone. And now? No? Then your scooter is gone too. I stayed really calm because I was so tired. After about 15 minutes he came over to me and asked to get dressed. 10 minutes later he sat down at the table quietly for a meal. And he didn't even seem defeated or sad, it felt more like he was relieved. He asked about his firetruck and his bike when we came back from the playground and accepted that he'll only get them back the next day. He sat down for dinner and tried to explain to me in his few words that he didn't like how the pasta tasted so I offered him a banana instead. He asked for his yoghurt and when I reminded him he'd thrown it against the wall in the morning he explained to me that he had been sad. What a difference... it's like we went from open war to a constructive dialogue! I hope the miracle continues :-)

[lizvargas]

I cried in the bathroom today after my 2 year old screamed for an hour in protest. Nap time was not happening. I'm also 6 months pregnant emotional, still getting massive headaches, exhausted and nauseous. 😩

[ciscokid]

I'm a first time parent and I'm going through this and this is the hardest and toughest moment of my life. I feel like my two year old son doesn't love me. Being a parent in the hardest thing. I completely agree with you. When my son throws a fit in public I feel like everyone is judging me and my wife and thinking what terrible parents we are. People just stare at us and I just want the earth to open up and swallow me.

[EROBLOX]

The next time your child act like a terrible twos!! Just pretend they are your drunk friends throwing a tantrum.

[whateverdude]

Not too many guys here huh ? Weird okay well I’m a dad and I have a two year old, he really throws some bad tantrums and never stays still when I’m changing him, kids are awsome and we need more help videos so parents can not become insane

[tms]

I’m a nanny for 11 years and I use the same method of letting the child calm down on their own and than have a conversation after. Works really well!

[mikaylasoto]

I just have to say thank you for this . My son is a week away from turning 2 and I’ve just felt like I’m doing everything wrong . I’m like I must be doing everything wrong, I’m like what the heck is wrong with my child I didn’t raise you like this . I’m glad I’m not alone 😊

[kamasimpson]

Great video. Thanks for the advise. My son is turning 2 in a week and he has started throwing tantrums every day for the past couple of weeks. So embarrassing and it makes me so anxious because you feel like everyone is judging you.... But I felt much better knowing that I'm not the only one :)

[simiapowers]

my little girl turned 3 and is stubborn, her mom and grandpa give and act like I am evil.
I ignore her into she levels out, she has to sit in a shopping cart or highchair so she does not run off. that is like tackling an octopus with family over shoulder saying let her walk, but they get mad running after her.

[abigailloar]

I am here because my son just threw the most massive tantrum I've ever seen ANY child throw while we were shopping for furniture. It lasted 20 minutes while the retail guy was trying to help. He just stood next to me staring. I held him while he fought me because he wanted to run off and play. I just left and didn't buy anything because he would not calm down.. I was so helpless and cried the whole way home. I feel so under prepared and lost, like I'm doing something wrong... idk what to do.

[lilig]

I use to be one of those people who would judge. And now that I have my nephew in my life I completely understand and have compassion for every parent out there.

[sdme]

omg! I think my 21 month7 old is starting her terrible twos now. In fact I just had a meltdown earlier. Good to know that I am not the only one, that I am still "normal"

[rachelbonnar]

I have no children, and I am not fond of them, but every time a kid is tantruming in line, behind me, I look at them and say, "I feel your pain, kid, " then I look at the mother as though she is a victim. Everyone loses, ya know?

[miacooj]

my mother in law keeps reminding me time out dosnt work, I have no idea what to do, I keep hideing in the bathroom to cry

[parentingbeyondbehaviours]

Hey CloudMom, great video and great advice. As mother ourselves, sometimes waiting out the tantrum is difficult because time may be a factor, for us we found that there are times where we need to take control of the situation by physically removing the child from the situation. For example, in the store and you may not have time to wait for it to run its course, so you remove the child from the situation. Then this will send the message to the child that tantrum is not going to get them what they want. So totally agree on what you say about not giving in!

[lillizclassix]

The first time my son had a TT in the store, I almost collapsed. As I approached him to get him to calm down an older lady stepped up to me and told me to walk away. It was the hardest thing I ever did. In retrospect I realized that what she said made sense because me walking away removed the audience he had. He did it again at another time and I dealt with it the same way. Never happened again. He'll be 19 in two weeks.
I purchased door hangers and he and I decided to use red for angry, green happy, yellow need my space and blue for sad and this allowed us to talk about his feelings in a no judgment zone.