When You Feel Hurt by Others | Non-Duality (Rupert Spira)

What can I do when I feel hurt by what other people say or do? How do I stop taking things personally? And should I address what is said?

Rupert explains that the first thing to do when you feel hurt inside, is to explore in your experience the one on whose behalf the feeling of hurt arises. When you say "I am hurt", who is hurt? Or what is hurt? It is not your body because we are talking of feeling emotionally hurt. It is not awareness because awareness is like an open empty space – it cannot be hurt.

Hurt arises on behalf of a separate self that does not exist. This apparent hurt 'self' only seems to be there because we haven't looked clearly.

So rather than resenting the other for causing that hurt, welcome the opportunity to have that hurt self in you exposed. And be grateful for the opportunity to heal and see that the hurt self is not actually there.

Look for the hurt self each time it arises. When you see, over-and-over again, that only the open space of awareness exists, over time the notion of a hurt self will collapse.

This clip was taken from one of Rupert's webinars in April, 2022.

Timestamps:

00:00 How Do I Stop Feeling Hurt Inside?
00:36 Looking For The Self That Is Hurt
01:02 Being Grateful, Rather Than Resenting The Other
01:53 Addressing What Was Said
03:05 The Illusion Of The Separate Self
03:54 The Collapse Of The Hurt Self

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RS21039g

[marypurdy]

Thank you, Rupert! No self only sensation, be with the sensation and it collapses.

[breayannawhiteoak]

The hardest thing for ppl to let go of is their pain. It is the deepest, most solid and dense sense of identity. Who would I be, what could I possibly be, without it?

[plumeria]

This is one of the most important and relevant videos from Rupert.

[lucashaywardmusic]

There's something even beyond this, when the hurt isn't met by any understanding of it's illusory nature and dissolved. When there is no longer a need to play goal tender in ones experience. The hurt can be there unobstructed as the only one that would need to see through or could ever see the hurt as an undesirable part of the illusion, is a subtle sense of a separate self. When the existence of anything at all is revealed to be illusion, there is never again a cherry picking of desirable and undesirable parts of the illusion. Hurt is necessary as the sun and grass and potato bugs, and only and ego would trick themselves into thinking trying to see through it is the highest expression of truth. It's not even half way.

[thewisdomoption]

Very good talk and "right on time". Thank you!

[dr.keshavamurthy]

Thank you sir. Lots of unconditional love, light, respect and gratitude. Feeling Peace...Joy...Bliss... Oneness with all of life and expandedness

[shoonyah]

Sometimes I am aware that its hurting and become conscious that I am exploring the hurt but it still continues to hurt.
There is no other way to release the hurt but to simply acknowlede that its hurting....real bad and just stay with it.
I don't find I but it feels better.

[Da_Xman]

In the midst of (especially heated) emotions, this is so initially difficult to do. But, with continued >deliberate< practice, it does become easier and easier. Hopefully, one day, it becomes second nature; practice does make perfect.

[nameeralaraji]

I found this very useful because it brings the hurt back to the seperate to a self upon examination does not exist

[liabeachy]

Interesting 🤨 it’s a moral philosophy that’s wrapped up in a lifetime of spiritual teachings on compassion. That when going through a cancer journey we believe we deserve compassion so when I instead of that, one gets attacked, bullied, insulted and treated with judgment doesn’t make it easy to just let go .

[robstelar]

I am a practising stoic and some of what Rupert Spira's says here echoes Marcus Aurelius's: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; which you can revoke at any moment.” In my opinion, non duality is good for creating that space of awareness between hurts on your identity and your true self.

[celinerowe]

What he is saying seems interesting but I wish he would explain it so that I could grasp the concept

[inneralignmentwithcathy]

It hurts and it’s painful and I’m ok with that. Feel and process it so we don’t store in into our body.

[claudelebel]

Being grateful for the opportunity is a big step.

[AlamarOne]

Thank you, Rupert! This is so helpful!
To know the one who feels the 'hurt', is Not There. Doesn't exist.
This is my intellectual grasp, I know, but as the time progresses, I am more aware of this knowing. I feel the freedom from the story... stories.

And the video of dissolution & death, I got the knowing of how to get to awareness... By stopping at, I AM AWARE. And not focussing on that which I was believing.
So, between the, I Am Aware, & The self in which the 'hurt' arises, does not exist... And the hurt I grabbed onto, collapses... Is magical.
I may not be making sense here but that's ok, cause, I feel a shift, happening for me, now.
Thank you. Someday, I would like to attend a live seminar with you.
Namaste, Alamar

[IDA...]

The Presence/Self is only one so if others hurt me it means I hurt myself to remember me when some wrong belives/patterns thinking are in my mind. It is a cleaning process and a sign that our inner self wants to shine through us. Thank you.❤️🙏

[SueSnellLives]

These are great tools to remember, but also, as a creative writer, not feeling hurt is a real killjoy for creating! LOL (Imagine if Van Gogh had become aware? NO ART ;)

[claresmith]

Thanks Rupert I really needed this today 🙏

[Swoozy]

I love Ruperts teachings and resonate with them very much but I feel like it can lead people to emotional avoidance and escapism. Yes, it is correct that our true self is pure awareness. But it is also true that for the time being we are bodies with feelings and emotions and those emotions need to be felt and processed and worked through. You can’t just deny that things affect you because of your intellectual knowing that you are not your body.

[carmenl]

If it was indeed that simple, no one would feel hurt. So clearly, something is missing in this method.