Cleaning My Dirty House Without Telling My Wife.

I used to overly focus on my wife’s precise words rather than trying to understand what she needed from me. I realized this approach wasn’t helping and needed to change my mindset. Over the years, I’ve learned it’s best to meet my wife where she is and support her in that moment. This often means I have to read between the lines rather than taking her statements at face value, especially when her words don’t seem to match her underlying needs.

The truth is that we all communicate this way. Accepting this fact of communication has allowed me to better empathize with my wife and serve her verbal and nonverbal needs. It’s not easy, and it can sometimes be unclear. Hopefully, over time, we can communicate our needs, wishes, and desires in a way we can understand.

[nolathompson]

She probably says "no" because if you have to ask, then she may as well do it herself. Don't ask, just do.

[whitestone]

You did it exactly right. Don't ask, just do. That says I love you, LOUDLY!

[andywilliams]

I would've cried happy tears if I would've came home to this. How sweet of this man. He's definitely a keeper.

[LUTfam]

Not having to "parent" your husband by explaining that laundry or dishes or floors need washing is the best thing ever!

[brigs]

My husband and I just do these things without asking if the other "needs help". If I cook he cleans, if he baths our child I tidy up. Whoever hears the wasching machine beep finished puts it in the drier ... just do what needs to be done without complaints and esp without nagging "how it should be done", we both have our own ways but we get things done. Peace and harmony in our home ❤️

[vancars]

A CLEAN HOME IS A HAPPY HOME!! WORK TOGETHER IN ALL THINGS!❤❤

[nicolewiesner]

She doesn't want you to " help". She wants you to participate.

[Cawfeecakz]

Read a great article years ago explaining that the husband and children don’t “help” mom with housework, they simply do their share.
Teamwork 💕 builds respect, strong work ethic and accountability.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[laurenlane]

Thank you for stepping up. Accepting 'help' means we have to tell/explain to someone what to do. Another chore in itself.

[meditativemadness]

Asking her if she wants help implies it is her job. Stepping up and taking responsibility is 🔥🔥🔥

[YvonneWatson-ffex]

People always ask “what’s the way to a woman’s heart?” What you did is the answer. You did a beautiful job.

[geraldinewashington]

You're the kind of husband every wife should have and NEEDS! Praise God for you bro.

[michelehott]

Taking care of a house is 50/50. Good on you for doing your part. It’s a lot of work.

[newcreation]

She wants your help. She just doesn't want to have to give you instructions on what she needs help with. You did the right thing. ❤

[crybebebunny]

Sorry for sharing my negative point. I am disabled and in the past, because of my ego, I have said No to my husband help. He is better at cleaning our home. I know how hard he works outside our home, and I don't want another responsibility to him. Now, I do need his help beyond how we agreed our roles would be. My chronic health issues and our youngest keep me too busy.
❣️ You definitely did the right things to ❣️

[Hot-Tamale]

Nice you finally "got it'. Trust me, you keep on helping and your life and your wife will change for the better. Good on you!

[suzannepopovich]

There is nothing like coming home to a clean house. Partnership in a marriage or relatíonship is such a blessing. Team work no matter what the task is. Ty for sharing..❤️

[lisabarton]

It’s good you did this, hope you continue to contribute to your home and your wife’s sanity

[lindarazzano]

I dealt with a debilitating medical condition for several years until the doctors finally figured it out and we got it under control. I hated having to ask my husband for help because he took care of the cars and yard, inside the home was my responsibility.

He paid me the greatest compliment when he said, "I didn't realize how much you did around here until you stopped doing it, " and marshaled the kids to clean the entire house.

Thank you for sticking with me through that, Babe!

[powerfullyhappy]

Thank you for realizing what the “REAL” problem was, which was your ASKING when you SEE that the house needs cleaning. This has been an issue for me and mines. I actually broke up with him once and put him out for failure to be the other adult in the house and help keep it clean.
Meaning: Don’t ask me, you see it. Don’t wait until you see me cleaning to get up and clean.
He was gone for a few months but when he came back he now does more cleaning then I do.