What to Do When a 'Ghoster' Comes Back [Do These 5 Things]

What to Do When a "Ghoster" Comes Back [Do These 5 Things]
Have you ever been dating a guy and you seem to be really getting along? I mean, you're telling your friends this guy is the one you're going to marry, he's texting you all the time, he's really responsive. But then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, he just disappears. And you think, not another one. You're sad, you're disappointed. But you pick yourself up, you start building your confidence again, and it seems that at the very moment you finally feel happy with your life, he reappears into your life. What should you do? In this video, I'm gonna be giving you relationship advice about the five things that you need to do when this "ghoster" comes right back into your life.

Step one is you're probably gonna have the initial feeling of "&#%! off, dude," because you're frustrated at this point. Why would he do that to you? But if he's making a very genuine and authentic effort to come and see you and talk to you, then maybe you should just open your heart just a little bit to see what actually happened. If, for example, the way that he reappears into your life is he sends you a text asking you what's going on, what I would recommend you do is have him call you. The reason why I want this guy to call you is that I want him to have to make an effort to actually win you back over. If he's not willing to even pick up the phone and actually talk to you like a human, then he's not worth your time.

Step number two is when you're talking to him, I want you to fight the urge to ask him if you did anything wrong. This is not the time to get feedback on what you could have done differently in the relationship. This is all about him having to explain himself about what really happened because he did really one of the rudest things that a human can do to another human, and that's going completely dark on that person. So he's got some explaining to do.

Step three is for you to set really hard boundaries in your mind about the explanations you will not accept for him. If he's being at all vague about the reason why he disappeared, or he's just kinda saying, oh, it wasn't the right time in my life, or he won't give you any explanation, do not accept that as an explanation. He already screwed up once, he already ghosted on you, he already did something incredibly rude to you. Don't allow for these kinds of vague and unclear reasons of why he completely ghosted you. And before that conversation, really hold strong to those boundaries, because I don't want you to get sucked into a new relationship with a guy who might just ghost you again.

Step number four is to listen for reasons that are actually acceptable. In my opinion, people go in and out of really rough times in their life. And if he's legitimately sorry and can give you a very clear, solid reason as to why he disappeared, such as he lost his job. Or worse, there was a tragedy in the family, or someone lost their life, or something in his life that happened that just caused him to completely withdraw from everything in his life, then those are the types of explanations that I would be open to exploring with a person if they did ghost.

And then finally, if you've gotten this far, step number five is, if you decide to move forward with this guy, set clear boundaries moving forward for how this relationship will look. If you do decide to move forward with this guy after everything that's happened, then you can determine the boundaries moving forward. There's no more just kinda dipping his toe into this and seeing where things go. Either he's in it or he's not, and I would want a firm commitment with someone at that point, that they are really in it and they've really changed after the ghosting. And at this point, I really want you to listen to your gut and even look for the micro expressions and the way he's explaining himself so that you can really get a feel for whether or not this dude is just legit or not.

[gritvoight]

"Ghosting" is just another word for when the trash is taking itself out of your house (your life)! 😁

[mzlors]

Ugh no don't fall for it .. interested men don't disappear

[LveMerDie]

You only need to do one thing: if he ghosted you, let them stay dead.

[rosietheriveter]

I recently had a guy who ghosted me 3 years ago attempt to re-engage with me. I never responded to his text message. Ladies, if a guy ghosts you, he is showing you who he is. If you try to have a conversation with him after he re-appears, you're only opening up the door for him to get what he wants and then disappear again. Don't do it!!!

[lizs]

Never take someone so immature back. Who cares why he did it. Never give up your power. Walk away. If he can't respect you enough to just tell goodbye or the truth, his not worth your time. Know your worth, never settle.

[Skorpia]

Block ghosters. A guy runs TO the girl he wants when going thru emotional stress not run AWAY from them.

[stellawil]

I moved on. He didn't call or text me for almost 3 weeks. He started putting in minimal effort. I told him "I'm confused as to why you're contacting now. Its been almost 3 weeks." It wasn't worth it. I learned he lived with his Mom and was dependent on her financially even though he's almost 50. He wasn't working. No thanks. Next

[sageoldmann]

Girls don’t listen to this guy. He’s giving you terrible advice. If a guy is treating you this way it’s because he has options and you fall at the bottom of his list. He’s just using you for sex. My advice, if a guy ghost you, just move on. The only reason why you want him is because you can’t have him. He doesn’t want you. This is the honest truth.

[IevaKambarovaite]

I used to do this to myself. Took me years to realise it wasn't his fault. It was just me. I allowed this to happen. I didn't think I was worth more. When a guy ghosts you, it's not about why he does that. The question is - What are you going to do about it? Why are you letting someone who's giving you just breadcrumbs and empty promises still be in your life? If you're reading this and thinking, 'This time it's different!'. It's not! * You deserve so much more.* But you won't be able to attract that person if you still have the space in your heart and in your life for a ghoster.

[lilyc]

The explanation when he comes back will possibly be a LIE. That's what I've gone through. Do not let it occur twice, don't let him hurt you again, you can find someone better, don't waste your time on him.

[jamescharlesjones]

No, no, no. He's looking for a booty call & tag you're it at the end of the list. He has no love for the woman he does this to. You don't dump someone, then ask them back into your life unless you intend on marrying them. No ghoster has that intention. Any woman willing to take a ghoster back is devaluing herself. Don't go there.

[RK-suhs]

There are 24 hours in a day.
We all do what we want to do...no matter what anyone says or does
Please don’t ask ‘Why’
Just take the person as they are. Or keep it moving

[fightlikeagirl]

I dated a guy for 3 months. He ghosted me after I asked “that question”: you know...the one that goes something like, “what are we?” Shortly after I found out I was pregnant but discovered it was a chemical pregnancy. I sent him copies of blood tests, scans etc...I got nothing. I get that people ghost..but to not even reach out and leaving me to deal with an incredibly traumatic experience was literally mind blowing to me.

[TheLastProzacNation]

Never get back with a ghoster cmon have some self respect

[Derlet]

Story time: A guy ghosted me once and when he magically reappered three months later, I blocked him. Tada! The end, lol

Ladies: Have self respect. Don't accept hand me downs or leftovers. Have an eye for quality and then, raise the interest rate! 😉

[snowwhitebeautyful]

2 years ago I had a guy ghosting me, acting like I didn't exist while he was trying to get back with his ex. What's even worse, he was acting like I was the one doing sth. wrong. Saw him at the club the other day, trying his luck with a divorced single mother, 7 years his senior, who just made fun of his attempts. I laughed my ass off, while having fun with a younger, much hotter guy than him. Well, karma is a bitch. Have your cake and eat it, bro.

[flowerlullaby]

No response for 2 months. Hasn't come back but I've already moved on with someone else. Peace.

[ingridfrisinger]

He ghosted on me. Came back 6 weeks later. 6 weeks after that I ghosted on him for 6 weeks. Asked him how it felt and was shocked. He said it felt weird. Like I was there and then gone. Questioned what HE had done. Pay backs can be so fun.

[alphasierra]

He 'ghosted' me and we see eachother at work everyday 🤣🤣🤣/😐😐😐

[annafarben]

I guess it’s even normal in the beginning of relationship, if someone has doubts and needs some space for a while! But ! I will go on another dates while he’s “thinking”