What To Do When You Feel Hopeless and Depressed #AskATherapist

What To Do When You Feel Hopeless and Depressed #AskATherapist //

Have you ever wondered what to do when you feel hopeless and depressed? Many people have found themselves thinking, why do I feel so depressed and hopeless and how do I stop? Or, Is feeling hopeless a sign of depression? Watch this video to learn about your options as well as some resources that may help.

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[catdragon]

“Exercise for sanity, not for vanity.” Love this!

[amandadeloff]

In my experience, meds "open the door" and therapy "helps you walk through it." And long-term persistent depression can be a result of undiagnosed and untreated adhd. Love the videos, Jono! Keep it up!

[Lessareve]

Something that helped was the "Spoon theory" (the idea that you have a limited amount of energy to spend per day, hence taking a shower took already two spoons so i will not have energy to do the dishes for exemple, but at least i'll cook).

It forced me to evaluate my capacity for the day, plan the day based on it, and not push myself into exhausting patterns (on the contrary, helping to give myself some slack when i was not feeling okay).

It was also wonderful to feel more and more spoons being available as I was getting better.

[sarabartel]

I've been severely depressed off and on since I was young, but I'm in a good place now. You might feel angry when someone suggests a way to get better, so this is just a friend's experience: find a good hobby, go on a walk, be kind to others. And, I didn't realize I had pernicious anemia (inability to process B12), so make sure to get your vitamin levels checked before considering antidepressants. That was actually the biggest part of my recovery.

[kaloumlanier]

In my life, I have struggled with depression since early childhood and have been to many therapists and on many different medications. I used to hate when people would say, “You just need to exercise! Eat better! Talk to friends! Spend time outdoors!” It wasn’t until my mid twenties that I realized the reason why people (especially therapists) say these things is because it is true. Yes, I still need medication, BUT my depression is so much more manageable now that I am on a schedule that prioritizes a full night’s sleep, regular exercise, and balanced meals. The most helpful tool was spending time connecting with nature. Whereas my depression was once debilitating, I can now sit with depression comfortably and feel hope for my life ahead.

[adrijamukherjee]

From personal experience, all the points mentioned here, I've heard from a bunch of therapists before too and as appreciative I am of you making this video to try and help, all of these, every single one feels like a chore. And because it seems so difficult to do, I end up not consistently doing and thus feeling even more of a failure

[bakekay]

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by @$$holes.”
― William Gibson

[drafter]

Seriously tired of my husband telling me to "just snap out of it".

[savannaharmstrong]

CBT was the thing that did it for me, though it’s still an ongoing struggle. Realizing I’d been raised with unrealistic expectations for myself sent me down a spiral of worthlessness when I couldn’t keep up with it anymore. All the advice you listed here just felt like “more stuff to do.” I’d try, couldn’t keep up with it, and feel even more failure and worthlessness. Realizing - and truly understanding - that I was doing enough and being enough, and that I didn’t have to do or be any more, finally brought me the first traces of happiness.
I know I’m nearing a point in recovery where I need to start taking better care of my body, but before I could do that, what I really needed to do was just stop trying, and let my soul get some rest.

[elaineb]

I've mentioned my plushie before, & will do so here. For those who live alone & can't afford or keep a pet, a plushie is the next best thing. Something there to snuggle when youve had a bad day, or just feel too overwhelmed by everything. My plushie, for those who know, is a soft toy shark from Ikea, about a metre long, & just the right shape, size, & texture for snuggling xxx

[VanillaBean]

the get up and get dressed tip REALLY IS a game changer :) just be gentle on yourself, listen to your body and taking steps towards it. Start tweaking your sleeping schedule little by little until you find something that works. The days I stay on my pj's are usually the worst

[kylesundell]

I'm so hopeless and done I truly feel done don't want to be here no more, social anxiety and depression is too much now I'm homeless too.

[kangaroo]

I don’t know about anybody else but for me the worst thing is I blame myself for being depressed. If I stay in bed all day because I’m depressed, at the end of the day I blame myself.

[yvonneweiohara]

What helped me recently was going through the book Feeling Good by Dr David Burns! Identifying some cognitive distortions (all-or-nothing thinking, 'fortune telling'/mind reading, should-ing, negating the positive, etc) was key to understanding why I feel depressed, and keeping track of them in a notebook and being able to 'talk back to myself' with reason and grace helped a lot as well.

[sarawhite]

I like Mr. Roger’s mom’s advice, “look for the helpers.” If you’re feeling hopeless, look for others helping others. It will remind you there is goodness in the world.

[siristhesalamander]

As an individual with chronic depression, I can say that this is all very valuable advice. Sometimes I would find it annoying or shaming, but these ideas are truly good and come from a good place. It's hard! People wouldn't have depressive issues if the solution was easy, but it is incredibly enabling and powerful when you accomplish meaningful things through those episodes, even if it is as small as getting out of bed.

[marysenum]

I love how much you reference Victor Frankels book. I read that with my mom last summer and there were so many sections I had to reread because the depth was just awe inspiring. The level of positive realism in such a dark place. Still hard to put to words.

[tayachernyavska]

Dear @Mended Light, please make a video for war survivors. Here in Ukraine we are under bombing and shooting, we hide in the undeground stations and do not sleep. An advice on how to stay strong mentally in such tough situation would be very helpful. Thank you.

[peppermintmoon]

I would add journaling to the list. It helps me so much. Sometimes I get so emotional that I can't even be calm enough to talk about something. Journaling about it first helps lessen the emotional impact so eventually I can talk about without becoming snotty, red, swollen-eyed mess. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Plus, you can always give the journal to your mental health professional, so they can give you suggestions without the trauma of speaking it out loud.

[joshuawagner]

I have struggled with depression since I was in elementary school. I have always avoided taking anti-depressants and, at least for right now, I will continue to do so. When I am going through a wave of depression, I have found that it is VERY difficult to exercise or eat right. But I will say, when I push myself to eat right and to take a walk outside (I love walks), it really does help. Being in creation and appreciating it, whether rain, snow, or shine, does wonders for me. It doesn't take the depression away, but it makes it more manageable.

And yet, for me, the most important piece of advice that you gave, that I can relate to from personal experience, is to feed my mind and to partake of creative endeavors. I am a creative type, and I have found that during my waves of depression I have some of the most explosive and wondrous creativity. Watching stuff can be fun, but it really ends up making things worse for me if I do it too much. My mind HAS to be active, either engaging with intellectual or creative material or making it. I think it's tied, as well, to the finding purpose suggestion. And pursuing those things helps tremendously. The activities don't make the depression go away, but, as I said, it becomes more manageable.

It's also very hard for me to participate in social functions during these waves. I absolutely do NOT want to be around people unless it's my immediate family. It's just too exhausting. And you know what--sometimes I think that's okay. I am an Introvert, after all. That's probably the HARDEST thing for me to do when I'm in a depression. Let me take a walk with my wife and eat a nice, healthy meal, and do some serious writing or other creative endeavor. But don't make me go to a party.