Funny Tumblr Posts 182

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I don't own anything except my voice.
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“God is an irresponsible pet owner” is not a sentence I expected to hear today, but that checks out

madeleinerawlins
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The World Wars were just the the “Warriors” books

mr.markofski
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im in favor of being considered a God's Outdoor Cat

fleurpayne
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Wtf could "have loud sex at night" be censoring this shit makes no sense 😭

Nivamp_
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Ok but also the whole thing were in ancient Israeli religion you have to do certain sacrifices is like if a cat brings you a dead rabbit as a “present” to say sorry
And the unclean sacrifices would be the animals that god is like “gross get that out of my house”

And the reason god didn’t like Cains sacrifice was cause it was a bunch of flowers from gods garden

acoelomate
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God: don't eat this chocolate it will straight up kill you
Humans, the dumbass pet, already eating it off the floor: Did you say something
God: ?!
Humans: Y'know you shouldn't leave chocolate around if its poisonous. Thats irresponsible of you.
God: ...this is what I get for creating you

NahuatlBatGod
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I took a class in college and we analyzed the Adam and Eve bible story, and we essentially came to the same conclusion except neglectful parent instead of irresponsible pet owner.

My teacher made the analogy that God was the parent and put a fire in his fireplace and told his two young kids 'don't touch the fireplace' and then left them alone. After he left they touched the fireplace because they very young kids and got burned, exactly what God the parent was hoping to prevent. God gets angry and punishes the kids. But god is the one who was responsible because he wasn't supervising the very young kids.

We say they were young kids because they didn't have a concept of good/evil yet so they had a sort of naive innocence.

MultiKSW
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Well, this is definitely an improvement over "genetic engineer deliberately designing a creature so full of flaws that it will either die young or live in excruciating pain", which is what the creationists claim. Oh, they try to backpedal and say that was not what they said, but that IS what "intelligent design" and "God made us perfect" means. God is either uncaring of human suffering or likes it, neither of which is a trait we should encourage by worship or apologism.

AnalystPrime
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Especially accurate because Eve, just like a cat, did not understand that it was wrong to eat the food. Sure, God told her not to eat the fruit, but it was literally the fruit of knowledge of *good and evil*. Ie, they did not have knowledge of good and evil before, which would be required to make that judgement.

ACindyDerg
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If i had a nickel for every time someone refered to me as the neglected pet of an irresponsable owner, id probably have enough to Buy a sandwich

TheCrowWizard
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I taunt God with the fact that I 100% will NOT wear the bell

rowanbowers
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“God is an irresponsible cat owner”

Excuse you, God literally had His carpenter Son build-with his own blood, sweat, and tears-a cat door into the front of his house so that we can come back inside at any time. That’s pretty great.

mattneese
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i feel like we're actually the family dog that got abandoned at the dump by horrible owners who didnt anticapate actually having to take care of it and properly train it, so they just abandoned us to our own whims

sevrono
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God: “hey, you should do this, but I won’t force you, because I love you.”
Us: “NOOO, back off, JERK, I’ll do what I want! ❤️ 💋 💅”
God: *withdraws*
Us: “ZOMG God is an IRRESPONSIBLE PET OWNER!!!”

noahhuelsman
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Maybe God is like a sealed terrarium owner?

kamewantor
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I saw the punchline coming a mile away but it still got me 😂

outdoorscholar
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I hate people who let their cats out unsupervised, also not a fan of religions. I'm starting to see a connection 😂

SnowWhite-ovof
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I’m all for being gods outdoor cats XD

simsgirlgem
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Why should I suffer for a mistake I didn’t make

garrett
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I can accept this as part of my world view

ArcaneProtocol