What Is Gentle Parenting & Positive Discipline? SJ STRUM

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Gentle Parenting is something I'm really interested in - it's a way of creating a partnership with your child so they cooperate with you without punishments or rewards. So it's really about positive discipline through these 6 principles. Some are harder to achieve than others and could be extreme - like always letting them decide what and when to eat/sleep for example. But I do believe in all the principles and here's how I practise gentle parenting at home. I hope you find this interesting and as always would love to know your thoughts on discipline and gentle methods below. SJ

#gentleparenting #positiveparenting #positivediscipline #channelmumtalent

[JR-gqww]

As a stay at home father I know it's not normal but it always kind of hurts that everyone just assumes the people who are taking care of the kids are "mums."

On the otherhand, I love these concepts! They have completely changed the dynamic of my family and I cried a couple nights ago when my daughter hugged me and said " I love you so much daddy, thank you for not yelling anymore." 😭😊🕺

I know it sounds so basic but to see our two sets of twins flourish under this has "filled my cup so to say?"

[luizsergiobezerradasilva]

I'm a 25 years old man and I love motherhood/ parenting videos.

[josie]

Hi SJ, I'm an avid watcher of your channel and I never comment, but this video really touched me. I'm only 21 and have no plans of having children for at least another 5 years but I really enjoy watching videos about parenting as I'm super interested in early years development, psychologically and linguistically (your speech delay content has been fascinating). I was brought up in a very violent abusive household and there was a lot of conflict between my parents and between them and myself and it has really impacted me as I've grown up. I suffer with severe anxiety and PTSD because of this and am often triggered by parents shouting at their children in public places. Watching videos on topics like this is really important for me as I'd love to have children of my own but I worry that my instinct will be to parent in a similar way that I was, but videos like this give me reassurance that I can teach myself out of angry/short tempered habits and raise children how I would have liked to be raised and give them the childhood that I missed out on. I particularly love your vlogs where we get to see how you interact with your children with so much kindness and respect. So really just a BIG thank you for being an amazing parent and putting this content out there xx

[riogdlsff]

Loved this video, SJ. I don't even have children yet and you're really the only 'mum vlogger' that I watch religiously. Your videos are so cosy and have such an authentic feel, and I'm picking up so many tips for the future. Discovered your channel via Gabbie a couple of months ago and I'm addicted. Thanks so much for your content x

[MadRckCliMa]

My Niece is a “gentle parenting” child and she is an absolute wild child… if she could reach the Chandelier and swing from it she would… setting expectations and remaining consistent is the key to parenting.

[bournie]

Love this, I’m a first time mum with an 18 month old and another due in 9 weeks, I’ve been dreading how to discipline/reward them and not become a mum that’s just shouting all time! X

[courtneyclarke]

I feel like the attention thing applies in adult relationships as well. There are many times when I am out with friends and they are on their phones texting other people or on Facebook ect. I don't think it is too much to ask that the friend put down their phone and pay attention to the person in front of them.

[dammyjodger]

I work in the care sector with individuals with intellectual disabilities, and I feel a lot of the principles that I work with translate well toward a gentle parenting style. (Which I'm interested in following when I eventually have children). Obviously sanction and rewards are huge no-nos because that's seen as manipulation. I also brought up the 'attention seeking' point in my recent Positive Behaviour Support training. It's so important to anyone to have attention and feel seen/heard by people! If someone is 'seeking' attention then they're obviously not getting the right positive attention they need. Why not give it to them? I really appreciate this video and spreading the word. Thank you x

[sassypants]

This video came up in my suggested feed, and love it! I'm not a parent (yet, hopefully one day) but I'm a preschool teacher and taught infants and toddlers for many years. Within my worklife, I wholeheartedly believe in respectful practice or peaceful parenting as it may be called when you're a parent - the principle is the same. Janet Lansbury is also an amazing resource...and look up the Pikler/RIE philosophy.
It's amazing what children are capable of when you give them empowerment over their choices, to lead with kindness and are respectful of their ways of doing things. I always say to children ''you don't have to be everyone's friend, but you have to be kind to everyone.''
I also believe in children making their own choices within a limit. I.e ''I need to change your nappy. Do you want to go now or in 5 minutes? It has been 5 minutes you need to come now to change it...do you want to choose a nappy? Do you want to walk to the change area or do you want me to carry you? I can see you don't want to leave your toy because you look worried that (other child) might play with it. Let's find a high spot for it, so you can have it back after we're done.''
All these little choices are encouraging children to be partners in their care routine and learning. When you collaborate with children, it makes it all so much easier...but it's also teaching them that their opinions, thoughts and choices matter.
That they can have control, choice and respect over their own lives and actions, like any other person. After all, how can we expect children/teens/adults to be confident making decisions and choices when they haven't had opportunities to practice?

[arcticangel]

Love this video! Especially “try a little tenderness” it really does work. Xx

[justcallmejen]

Thank you for this SJ. My son is only 11 months old and I'm already feeling pressure to discipline (particularly from my parents generation) but I know he doesn't understand just yet and I don't believe that it is actually naughty/bad behaviour. You've given me some things to think about going forward xxx

[Simetra]

Thank you for this video. This is pretty much how I was raised and it's really nice to see it explained in a few key points for others to hopefully learn and take on. So many people don't show their children any respect and it's very sad to witness.

[Kately-fgso]

I’m an aunt and I want to say the respect your children thing is 💯. I don’t understand how children would learn what respect is if they aren’t shown it. Kids have no context., they need to be taught.

[lauraedwards]

Needed to watch this today! Day 3 of solo parenting and feeling slightly frustrated and overwhelmed (2 year old testing!!) but I completely believe this way of thinking. They are all individual and kindness rules x

[wholesomeseason]

Thank for sharing your thoughts! As parents of an awesome highly sensitive kiddo been practising this but were new to the concept of gentle / positive parenting ✨✨✨

[jalene]

Thank you for making this video! I grew up with really harsh parents, and wish this video existed when I was little. I think this video will help many people, and will make several children’s childhood much easier! Props to you!

[amyhayden]

Love this topic, so thought provoking and it's always a case of easier said than done but this is a great reminder of how we ought to treat each other and prioritise the time we have together as families!

[ekdaufin]

All great! Re: #3 DON’T allow one child to persistently bully another in the name of “letting them work things out”!

[Chalky.]

I brought up my kids trying to prepare them for the often harsh realities of life, and that meant simply giving out reward and discipline on a sliding scale depending on their actions so they understood that everything in life must be earned.

[ejmmama]

Love this SJ! Thanks for making this video. I keep meaning to do more research on gentle parenting - our kids (5& almost 7) have just started fighting with each other a lot and I’m finding it hard to know what to do so this is such a timely reminder. I loved the kindness starts at home motto.