Are Your BPD Daydreams Getting Out of Control?

Maladaptive daydreaming is more than just getting lost in thought—it can become a cycle of fantasy that replaces real-life experiences, especially for those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). In this video, we’ll explore why maladaptive daydreaming happens, how it connects to BPD, and why it feels so addictive. Many people with BPD struggle with identity instability, emotional overwhelm, and fear of abandonment, making fantasy worlds feel safer than reality. But when daydreaming takes over, it can lead to isolation, avoidance, and missed opportunities for real growth. We’ll break down the signs, share real-life examples, and introduce practical strategies to break the cycle—including journaling, mindfulness, and grounding techniques to help you stay present. If you feel like daydreaming is controlling your life, this video will show you how to take back control and start living in the moment. It’s time to break free from the fantasy trap!

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

Check out Dr. Fox’s online course:

He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

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00:00 Introduction
00:12 What is Maladaptive Daydreaming?
00:41 Why Do People Maladaptively Daydream?
01:27 Difference Between Dissociation and Maladaptive Daydreaming
02:08 How BPD Complicates Maladaptive Daydreaming
02:57 Fantasy as a Coping Mechanism in BPD
03:46 The Isolation Trap: When Fantasy Replaces Reality
05:47 How Maladaptive Daydreaming Fuels BPD Symptoms
06:10 Breaking the Cycle: Practical Strategies
09:23 BPD & Emotional Regulation: Why It Matters
11:28 Recognizing Emotional Triggers and Breaking the Pattern

[AntonioBerger-bj]

Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.

[RubberWilbur]

I can give several real life examples of this. I'll sometimes daydream about being a world famous actor even though I know nothing about acting. I'll dream of being a billionaire because I invested in Apple computers in 2001. I'll daydream of being a great NBA center even though I"m 5 foot 5. It does feel safer to dream about who I am not. I think we do this with BPD because theories are that we are trying to get the attention of our mother when we were babies and everything turns to good or bad, black and white. Good mom giving me attention, bad mom for walking out of the room

[sadfish]

My maladaptive daydreaming will become so obsessed sometimes ill make it a reality. I thought about my dream car and day dream about it so often that i saved up 11 grand for it, still havent bought the car, but i am proud of myself.

[BitterSweetCoffee]

This video came exactly when I needed it! I recently became aware of my crippling intrusive thoughts including daydreaming. I am realizing these dreams are creating save space where I am accepted and not rejected. More importantly, I am in control. I have been trying very hard to remind myself that I deserve "real". Yes, it feels wonderful to envision this beautiful life I have been desiring, but I am worthy to have it IRL. I have also been trying to convince my suncon. that "it is possible" to have a life where I am loved and accepted and not rejected. Most of the time, it feels like I am fighting with someone stronger and more powerful than me. I understand these thoughts and daydreaming helped a lot when I was going through for many years, but right now I want to heal more than ever. I committed to healing few years back and have been trying anything and everything. To think it is possible to have quite mind and be happy IRL, I would give anything to have that.

[Tawroset]

I've been doing this since grammar school! I used to do a lot of creative writing, but I guess I got lazy, lol, and mostly just live in my head with all kinds of fantasies. I think my imagination is the most "alive" part of me!

Thank you, Dr. Fox, you are always awesome.☺️

[amandaharris]

Id say its usually music and bordom, ive been doing this since i was really young. Ive been building these story lines with the same characters but so many branching ideas of worlds. In my mind im powerful, i save people and my character doesnt feel any pain. Recently ive seen just how much ive been burying things into this world to feel safe or, again powerful. Thank you so much for this episode. ❤ your work means so much to me i could never express how helpful you've been for my journey to heal.

[alexr.]

This is exactly what I was convicted of this weekend. I used to get made fun of for how much I daydreamed. This weekend, I realized I have a very vivid, active imagination, and that I used it to escape the mental and emotional trauma when I was growing up. Now, I am finding a healthy purpose for my imagination, as part of forming goals and determining what dreams are possible. The difference is that now, I’m learning to engage reality with my imagination to solve problems instead of trying to escape reality. I am also a writer and I love to paint—these do help! Imagination is good, but it’s easy to misuse it!
Wisdom and skill are needed to get ourselves out of these loops. It’s hard sometimes!

[earp]

Up until the age of 21, when I went super religious and married a woman while having an idealized perspective of religiosity(it will fix me and cause me to find myself), I used to get in bed, have my "boom box" next to my head, and rock my head back and forth while fantasizing myself as popular, incredible singer, etc. The head rocking soothed me, and helped remove reality distraction. Yep, sad, and lonely and weird kid I was. Now, fantasy is still an indulgence to help me sleep, although it's restricted to the mind.

[BrentTheGent]

I was only diagnosed with pd last year at age 55 and it has been living hell most my life.
At least i have more understanding of myself now though i am also struggle with chronic pain due to an accident at work which has disabled me more than 20 years now.
I just hope i can keep on keeping on like so many of you out there.
Keep going guys :}

[racheljensen]

Dr. Fox, you're such a Fox.
I always look forward to your post.
I definitely suffer with daydreaming to much. I don't work because of my mental health and struggle to even get basic house hold chores done some days.
However, I have found that making a list, and sticking to a schedule as much as possible... exercising and doing arts and crafts when I daydream keeps me happy and not stagnant so long.

[misa]

Oh my god, I didn’t even know this was a bpd trait. I have this, but I used to have it to to an extreme that would need to be studied. Makes sense why it started around the same years I started developing the other signs…

[YuYu-qsmz]

Yes. And the most common trait is that in my dreams people do and speak what a really want from them.. I’m like, trying to predict scenarios of conversation and never can fulfill my dreams, make at least anything predictable, anything at all..

[AlanRoehrich]

Another great video, Doc.

Hoping I can get my girl into treatment. Getting her your books.

[nafunafu]

your videos make me feel so seen, thank you king

[cancersunpiscesmoon]

I heard a song I used to listen to that triggered some intense daydreaming and fantasizing so much I've lost a whole day and am now depressed. Thank you for this video it explains exactly what I am doing, now I can try these tips to pull myself out of it without SH.

[Fizzie]

My best friend mentioned he lives whole lifetimes in his head everyday. This helped me understand exactly what he meant.

[bNot]

Possibly my first nickname or identity, was "day dreamer".
Yes i could still answer questions, but in my head it was a whole different movie.
Guiding me.

[Sandra-jtmq]

Thought I had everything under control, but - yes, daydreaming. You got me red-handed. Thank you so much for this insight 🤍

[lovesickorchid]

i love you, im so grateful you exist.

[cannonballbriefs]

This is the only way I can fall asleep, like reading a book that I made up with me as the main character. Had no idea this was a BPD thing