A parentified child is a child who is forced to act like an adult when they are still in their

A parentified child is a child who is forced to act like an adult when they are still in their childhood. They tend to take on adult responsibilities for themselves, their siblings and often their parents.

Signs you were parentified as a child:
- Often told you were “mature for your age”
- Pulled into arguments between parents
- Relied on for emotional support from parents
- Spend a big chunk of time taking care of others in your family
- Often feeling responsible for the feelings and wellbeing of others
- Lack of boundaries with family members
- The family peacekeeper
- No time to be a child or engage in child-like activities
- As a child you felt anxiety, guilt & shame

Many times, things shift in adulthood after parentification took place during childhood. An emotionally immature parent will often have trouble letting go and might start treating their adult child like they’re still incapable or dependent, almost as if they can’t trust them to handle life on their own. This can feel suffocating, like you’re stuck in a role that no longer fits who you are.

It’s confusing because as a kid, you were forced to take on responsibilities way too early, but now, as an adult, you’re treated like you’re not able to make decisions or take care of yourself. This can often make us confused of who we are to our core and what we identify with.

Reminder, for many families, parentification took place as a way to survive & stay safe. For example, language barriers, financial barriers, health issues and more ❤️

Ib: @watchout4audrey on TikTok
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#mentalhealth #anxiety #trauma #unhealedtrauma #depression #stress #ptsd #complextrauma #cptsd #selfhelp #selflove #motivation #procrastination #wellness #therapy #therapist #mentalhealthmatters #socialanxiety #bpd #bipolar #dsm #adhd

[émijiue]

Now as an adult, I actually feel like a child, I’m so lost in life

[pj-]

But never being recognized for YOUR struggles, but always having to acknowledge their struggles…

[SierraSweet]

“Treated like a child as an adult” never hit so hard

[joyceecyoj.]

And they never change. Just accept and protect yourself.

[jooniperlynn]

"YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING!" Because you treated me like I know everything

[purdygirl]

What did i just read...oh my goodness...this explains my life

[plantloverfreya]

And being gaslit by other adults for the rest of your life because "they're still your dad.. your mom"

[yagirl]

I’m 25 and live with my parents and JUST learned in therapy that my mom is emotionally immature and it changed my perspective on so many things

[Enafable]

"Children of emotional immature parents" that book changed my world

[StonerShy]

When I was 10 I was mature enough to take care of my dying grandma alone. Im 25 and have been living on my own for years, suddenly I’m incapable of anything. Lol I stopped talking to them both

[Bite]

I lived in a hoarder house with immature parents who had their first kid in high school. I always acted like the adult, and my house was so messy I couldn't have nice toys. The other day, i told my therapist, and he said to try doing something I wanted to do as a kid. He recommended coloring books. My first instinct before I thought was "I'm allowed to do that?" And that was the kid in me saying that. 😔

[Laineyklarb]

I’m gonna send this to my emotionally immature parent so I can watch them not understand.

[ahina_phoenix]

My parents were emotionally immature. I had to step up and act like an adult as a kid. When my dad died two years ago, my mother almost lost it, but I was not allowed to cry. People praise me for being emotionally strong and all, but deep down, I know how much it takes to keep myself together...

[soph]

i didn’t want to believe for a long time that i had one emotionally immature parent and one that’s absent.. but I fell in love and he made me realize a lot of my trauma could have been avoided had my parents given more of a shit . let’s just say it’s hard to tell your parents that you hurt every day now because of their lack of communication, respect, and parental guidance.

[Sonovakei_]

And when you know you have a valid argument and your advice is the right one but they refuse to lusten because you're just the child

[hannamiriam-kc]

As a 22 yrs old I feel like a lost and parentless child

[shanshackyloveduck]

Told my mom " I am really worried because they ordered a second biopsy. They still don't know if the growth is cancerous. I have kids. What am I going to do?"

My mom's response:" How do you think I feel?!? I AM YOUR MOTHER!"

GRANTED she is going through a few things with her mom at the moment. Nana isn't doing well, so I'm giving her some grace, but that response absolutely blindsided me. Now I have to tell my mom it is cancerous, BUT thankfully it is low grade. Yay! ❤

[juburr_]

Growing is realizing they did the best they can.. but I'm the adult now and need to figure it out also

[ReeseCupp]

As a child/adolescent My mother would beat me with a belt for things i didn’t fully understand. Then when bad things happened to me like rape I would be afraid to tell her. I still have alot of distain, animosity, anxiety and distrust towards her till this day. Im in my 30s and she treats me like im still a child

[SmoshOfy]

The reason? Necessity as a child, and then as an adult, you finally start to get confused about what real adulthood is like, and maturity as an adult was never modeled. You can be the most mature child to cope with an immature, neglectful parent, but a mature adult is still miles ahead of that same mature child in responsibility. You were never shown any of the qualities and behaviors that it takes to tackle adult tasks, in the daily, routine way other children saw. While you were guessing at it as a child, what can we eat, how much medication does my brother need for his cold, how do I get us safely to school, how can I get money for basics etc. Meanwhile the healthy homes were exposing their kids to the quiet grind of adult life, the patience, heartache, resolve of making ends meet without panic attacks or freezing or substances every single day. As a child there was a hope of an end in sight, of growing up, but now you’re grown up, and the feeling that you have arrived at a safe place never really came, because it never existed. You make safety and security in the decisions you make each day to provide it for yourself and your spouse and children, if you have them. An emotionally immature parent has no place in that relationship, no respect or empathy or compassion to share, because they don’t know anything about what it takes to thrive as an adult. They don’t know how much you will have to struggle each day to make it, because they never did. They’ll never respect you the way you need to be.