The Quickest Way To Improve Communication

How to get HER in the MOOD (funny)
#marriageadvice #relationshipproblems #communication

[fbeshir]

You helped me realize that my wife just wanted me to listen. I used to think that she was talking about something so that I can fix it for her. When I shut up and listen only, she seemed to relax more than if I interjected. Thank Jimbo. Keep up the good work ❤.

[xMorganbrittnyx]

I have adhd so this really helps me a lot. Ive often been told i come off like im making things about me or one upping someone when im really just trying to relate to them.

[Sheperdsdaughter]

Oh my goodness... I'm working on (story-topping) I have to catch myself because someone's story triggers a story I have about the same or a similar experience and I realize (only after I've shared) that my story was not welcome or necessary. I realize I have to wait for an invitation to share. I realize that all that person wanted from me was to listen, affirm and move on. I'm growing and I'm learning. Thank you for this video!

[lindsay]

You mean put the cell phone down, don't walk away, scoff, or roll your eyes? Treat me like you give AF about OUR relationship? Great idea! 🥰

[LRosieB]

I’ve seen a few of these shorts, and as an autistic person who is okay but not great at social interaction, these are insights I would not have had otherwise. Thank you.

[femininityfaith]

After being with a narcissist, your so neglected and it's literally about them!!!! So eventually you kind of stop doing this with them every time and your dying for them to ask you ANYTHING!!! OR LISTEN OR CARE etc. So often I jump to my stuff because if I don't I will NEVER be heard and this has bled into other conversations, after being with a narc for a good while you start feeling like a narc yourself it's crazy!!!! So much healing needed seriously!

[TonyaWeir]

Totally needed to be reminded of this for my relationship with my oldest son. I’m immediately in parent/fix-it mode. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[susanparker]

I just love you addressing this issue. I find myself cut off by other people before I've even had the chance to finish formulating my ideas out loud. People jump in to finish my sentences, which throws off my train of thought in the worst way. Just give me the chance to speak! So many people rush to hear themselves speak. I have to say "let me finish" more often than I should. It makes me edgy and changes what I was going to say.
The very worst example happened after my dear dog passed suddenly. I told my neighbour, who cut me off to rattle on about HER dog who'd been sick and died, 10 or more years before! I couldn't have cared less in that moment. I cut the conversation short and left completely unheard, and hurting more than before. Stop it people. When the person takes a breath while speaking, just shut up and wait. Your silence could be golden.

[serenasapphire]

Jimmy my feelings need validation or they just get bigger- more sad/mad/ frustrated/and so I like to hear a simple "oh that sucks" or "oh I'm sorry that happened" or "that's so frustrating", and then my feelings calm down, dissipate or are neutralized

[jesssands]

Some people just can't listen either.. only speak. Its quite a gift to be able to listen properly

[purplebushie]

Me and my autistic friends communicate like this a lot (the storytime way) but we call it parallel play because we know it isn’t standard. We gush about our interests by comparing and contrasting. You can learn a lot about someone’s perspective that way if you’re aware that’s what you’re going into

[sparky]

This really helped. I’ve been stuck in the same boat where I feel like I talk to much and I never let the other person fully convey what they mean on a situation. Thank you for sharing

[KevinRoddy]

Spot on! I think you just defined the difference between "hearing" and "listening."

[PaigeBartholomew]

As a therapist, I’ve learned how to listen, get interested and ask questions. That’s my work.

AND… I yearn for my relationships to be like this too. I would love for more of us to learn this skill so we can be present for each other. It’s how to build intimacy. It’s how to build trust. It’s how to feel safer and closer.

Excellent videos brother!

[you_are_in_my_spot]

Oh my god. You just defined 99% of my relationship problems. I have been struggling to word my concerns tell him why i tend to stay quite and not share things. Now i know why. ThANK YOU! That is why we have been having communication problems. This makes absolute sense.

[tris]

I think it's important to point out that neurodivergent people respond this way to communicate active listening and understanding. As long as someone isn't talking over me or steering the conversation in a different direction from the one I intended, someone responding with agreement or a similar personal experience makes me feel heard and understood and validates my experience. Personally, being asked to elaborate without first establishing common ground can feel very threating. If I'm sharing something vulnerable, being asked questions can feel like an interrogation - like I have to justify my emotions to be taken seriously or listened to.
Don't assume someone doesn't care or that they aren't listening because they respond this way. Lead with curiosity and be willing to put in the same amount of work you expect from the other person. Miscommunication is a two way street.

[SuperBlakes]

Ive got the opposite problem. And all the active listening I do, is like a moth to a flame. I'm practising, not listening. True story😂 people seem to demand to be listened to, but have no skills in listening, what so ever.

[Lou-zwzc]

This one can a little bit difficult for me as an autistic person. For a lot of us, sharing our opinions/feelings about something our partner shares *is* how we take an intentional interest in our partners. When we do that, it isn't making it about ourselves, it's a way for us to show that we do care and that we *are* listening and *are* interested.

It's a consistent struggle for me as an autistic individual to try to balance my way of showing interest and making connections with neurotypical ways, or at least with making it clear that me sharing my opinion or feelings *isn't* trying to take over the conversation, as I never want to make the person I'm speaking with feel invalidated or unheard, or as though I'm trying to make it about myself

[Wyn]

My hubby will pick up a pause and ramble finishing or rewording what I say. He is a very supportive person but gets excited like a golden retriever. I have started putting my hand up in a stop gesture and he quickly realizes what he did, appologies and lets me continue. Similarly, when I have a migraine and his volume goes up, again when excited, I will put my hand out and then lower it. He doesnt have to stop but quickly lowers his voice.
Typing this I know it sounds like training a kid or dog lol but he is so thoughtful in other areas like making me dinner or snack unprompted when I have chronic migraines alway bringing thoughtful/useful items he knows I enjoy as he sees them and not limited to special occasions. Oddly enough we dont do much on special occasions cause we dont like feeling we have to save up all the acts of kindness to a few days a year and will ramdomly do it when we want to.

[bryandowns]

I knew there was a reason I felt bad about conversations I’ve been having lately. this is it. Let them fully have the stage for their thoughts to come through, before sharing my own. Thank you!