Why a man is not a plan

Being a displaced homemaker is a nightmare for both mom and kids. #tradwife #divorce #marriage #family #mormon #mom #sahm #parenting #domesticviolenceawareness #exmormon #home #bible

[julesg]

Growing up my grandma used to tell us "the only man who is allow to support you is your dad, after that, you MUST be able to support yourself, even if you are a homemaker you need to have a plan b, c and d. A man is NEVER a plan"
I thank her everyday for insisting on that since I was a child.
Your story is heartbreaking but at the same time, you are so inspiring and powerful. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Suscribed!❤

[mariannefridberg]

my dad told his girls: "men lose their jobs, they quit their jobs, they get hurt, they get sick, they die, they become cruel, they leave. you have to have the skills to pay your bills."

[Tormekia]

There's a reason women in their 40s and 50s aren't singing the praises of the trad wife life.

[ExtraHecticana]

The kind of guy who is looking for a trad wife is exactly the kind of guy you DON'T want

[SilverGirlAu]

There is a reason women fought to have rights and careers.... and why the wife role changed...

[msc]

This is the exact reason I’d never be a SAHW/M. I did it early in my marriage and saw how men can be financially abusive early on. When I said I was leaving he took everything he’d paid for even my toothbrush. Thank God, I was only 25, with an education to fall back on. I couldn’t imagine doing this at 45 or even 55.

[TanyaBoser]

My father had an affair and got his girlfriend pregnant when I was 12. He divorced my mom ( who had been a homemaker and helped him on the farm) and married his girlfriend (she also had to divorce her husband to marry my father). My mom then had to support us 4 kids with no income. My father complained (to me, then 14 years old) that he had to pay $400 a month for child support.

This experience made me determined to never be dependent on a man for me and my children's well being.

[amberinthemist]

In the 80s and 90s in California the lds church was telling us that even wanting our names on accounts was a lack of faith in God. Truly sick stuff.

[SuperMel-jl]

These "men" that quit their jobs so they dont have to help take care of their kids, should be charged with abandonment.

[chichimcgee]

I’m a young boomer (born 1963). I heard the horror stories from women of the previous generations (born before WW2) who were dependent on husbands. The imbalance of power resulting in abuse, neglect and financial hardships. It’s the reason we had a women’s liberation movement in the 1970s. Young women today have not heard these stories and will now be the generation that will, unfortunately, learn these lessons the hard way.

[ZoraXire]

My mother had a college degree, was a successful teacher for 15yrs before she decided to give it all up to raise us kids at home. My dad left the family after 22yrs of marriage. We lived this life. While my father did pay child support and alimony on time, it total it was half of what he was providing before. So we went from a home with 100% dad's money to 50% of that income and my mother hadn't had a job in 15yrs. She got an overnight job as a baker at a local grocery store, but it was minim wage. So yeah lots of ramen noodles, lots of being dropped off at random friends, family, and neighbors' houses while my mom did odd jobs to make ends meet. Sometimes she slept in her car because she was too exhausted to drive. I had to raise my sister by myself at age 12. Man is not a plan ladies. I love my father, but he was not the best husband. He doesn't have to be abusive, or a dead beat, or even a bad dad, he can just be going through a mid life crisis and there you are, having a crisis of your own.

[kimrawls]

After my husband's infidelity, he left to live with his mistress, who was also married. I have a college degree. He stopped paying the mortgage on our home. I got a full-time job with my county, took him to court, and had his check garnished for child support. It's important to educate your girls so they have something to fall back on. Love doesn't equal security.

[imelimadame]

A teacher told us that if we wanted to be stay at home spouses to first still have A finished education to fall back on and B get employed by our spouse as a homemaker or assistent or whatever, but officially with a contract, so we pay into our retirement fund and social security as well as not having a hole in the cv

[tanschi]

I was a trad wife with four kids and then I fell ill. He was not happy at all. A trad wife is supposed to be pretty, not sick.
So he became very verbally and psichologically abusive and stopped supporting me economically. One other thing that the tradwife must face is the fact that your support circle usually leaves you too. When your firends are from church and you are now a divorcee, they stop being your friends. So you lose basically everything. Sometimes even family, because they don't agree with "women getting a divorce". I'm so sorry so many women are going through this

[Laoriginal]

The saddest part of this is that many women will watch this video and STILL won’t listen.

[SR-nosr]

My Dad pulled me aside as a teen girl and told me to always make sure I made enough money to live on my own so no man could ever make me vulnerable. Glad I listened as it came in handy when zi had yo leave a domestic abuse situation.

[okikeure]

To the women who say "my husband would never" "you should have picked better" "my children's care matters more to me than climbing the career ladder"

People change. People change.

[catcat]

My Mormon friends dad was a pastor and cheated on her mom with women in the congregation...
The wife was an absolute goddess in managing children and running a house. Very forgiving, loving, attentive to her husband. Scarred me for life.

[NaeNae]

Great analogy.. A Trad wife is like taking a car ride without putting on your seat belt! Yet the likelihood of you getting a divorce is higher than being in a car accident!

[theinkyspoon]

"but MY husband would never do that!" is the crux of the problem.