The Double-Empathy Problem in Autism / Asperger

People with autism are often blamed for "not having empathy" from neurotypical people, which is wrong. They actually often are compassionate and caring but respond differently to expectations. That is because of the "double-empathy" problem that creates a mismatch between autistic and non-autistic people. That is to say, people from the same neurotype often understand each other and can relate, and have an empathy style that matches.
This separation between neurotypes, though, is not a rule, and can be reduced once you understand the 'wall of glass' theory.

[consucamp-guada-nyusa]

Good explanation. There’s intellectual empathy and heart empathy. And teaching each side to understand the other’s needs is a great tactic. My 23 yo son understands how to be with me if im sad. What made me sad is the glass wall. It feels as if there’s no getting to the other side of the wall. And i hope my son doesn’t feel like he’s trapped behind a glass wall.

[cristobaljavier]

This has been the best explanation of the double empathy problem I've found, thanks

[ingridlandberg]

As a toddler in the late 1940s, I was diagnosed with a number of health problems including clumsy child syndrome, croup, etc. There were no pharmaceuticals so the prognosis was if I survived, I would outgrow them. Once pharmaceuticals were developed, these diagnoses became passe.. Children like me whose parents and school speech therapists were coping & couldn't be sold on costly pharmaceuticals just disappeared. I was left to outgrow my clumsiness & learning disabilities. When I failed, I was disciplined for not trying hard enough, so I masked even though burnouts & breakdowns.
I learned a beautiful lesson years ago from a Jewish Buddhist Grandma (JBG) interviewed by Krista Tippett on her NPR program On Being. JBG suggested when you come upon on a child who is hurt (i.e. fell & skinned knee) 1. say "Oh, you're hurt! Take a deep breath." 2. ask "What happened?" 3. Listen 4. ask "What can be done?" 5. ask "How can I help?"
Couldn't this simple strategy work for everyone in every situation? In the case of the skinned knee, the child may know how to take care of it or welcome help. A bump might need a kiss. An adult might benefit from encouragement. Acknowledging someone is hurt & being willing to help with that person's perceived need is loving kindness in action.
And, almost all religions have as their basis the Golden Rule, Law of Attraction, Universal Law, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, what you plant so will you reap, etc. Isn't that justification for this strategy? Or do we live in such a fearful, litigious society that loving kindness is passe?

[marieketrompert]

Very well explained. I am so happy! Thank you. Much needed education about the autistic behaviours for non autistic people and also the other way around ❤

[zfrmusic]

Very informative video and great example! It could get a bit confusing because there are lots of introverted people who are not autistic.

[yukisanderson]

Very good points. Thank you. Two different worlds!

[simonearmanni]

Great vibe and video thanks this was very informative and insightful.

[mindofganza]

They completely lack empathy. This is not stigma!!!! It's real af.