How being TOO comfortable is hurting you…

Are you too comfortable in life? I know we all strive to be comfortable in life. Whether that is seeking to be emotionally comfortable or financially stable or in a relationship without any problems, we often aspire for these things. But what happens when we stay in something because it feels comfortable but it may not be the best situation for us? When can being too comfortable become a trap for us where we're afraid of change, or afraid of what's new? Are you driven by fear and willing to stay in situations that may not be healthy for you? Perhaps you're afraid to be alone or afraid of not getting or being good at a job you really want? Or maybe you're afraid someone is going to be upset with you so you stay in an unhealthy friendship or relationship? The truth is we may be afraid to leave a relationship or be afraid of success or be afraid to leave a job or perhaps afraid to start a new job or start a new relationship. The truth is comfort can be good, but it can also trap us in situations or feeling stuck in life. Let's dive deeper into this in the video... what worked for you to get out of situations which made you feel comfortable but weren't necessarily good for you?

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[Musicandfilms]

I took a job that I hated because I needed the money, but the level of stress was so high that it affected my phisical health, I started developing an autoinmune illness, so I had to quit, otherwise I wouldn't be alive today. Take care of yourselves first.

[noeliamontalban]

Comfort is necessary when you have been living in discomfort and could use some rest

[crystalspaint]

I wish I could be more comfortable. It seems like I'm in survival mode more often than comfortable.

[daviddanielsson]

Being in therapy for C-PTSD myself (still after two years in the crucial phase of establishing safety and stabilization) I differ between 'comfort' and 'safety'. Feeling safe is to some extent crucial for existing at all and not feeling safe is the core of my problem.

Some level of feeling safe needs to be there to begin with in order to expose oneself to discomfort, but staying in a percieved comfort zone at all times is not possible if you want to thrive and evolve. But few people would willingly put themselves in a situation where they lose all sense of safety.

That's my take on it and I'm not a native English speaker, btw.

[mode]

11:37 “Sometimes we just need a little bit of discomfort/adversity to do better things” to spark and motivate us- I love it.

[robinfa]

From what I understand, a little bit of nervous system activation is motivating and healthy "eustress (good stress)." It is outside of the comfort zone and in the optimal zone. But if the nervous system is overwhelmed (with too frequent or too extreme stressors) that is "distress" and leads to the danger zone. You can't really learn and grow in that state.

[BillyWhitebread]

I think as with most things in life finding balance is important. We should all find ways to make ourselfs more comfortable in our day to day life. But not getting complacent with a bad or stagnate situation is different. For example making your living space comfortable and having a super cozy bed is great. Being comfortable with an abusive partner or work situation because it's what your use to isn't. And I agree that personal growth is accelerated during times of adversity but that's not the only time significant growth is achievable. Context and where it lyes on the spectrum is key in my opinion. I'd be interested in hearing others thoughts on this.

[bridgettetraveler]

Great video! I grew up in a chaotic family! I didn't like it, but it was the norm for me. I grew out of that norm & seek for peace & prosperity now. Studying, reading & praying daily brought me to where I want to be!!!

[bun]

I don’t think the “place” in “place of comfort” is meant to be taken literal. It’s describing “situational” comfort. You protect yourself from progress if you never take risks. And risks are uncomfortable. But taking risks and pushing boundaries is a BAD idea without a reliably comfortable and stable foundation. That’s a recipe for emotional whiplash imo.

[JamesThompson-rkbu]

Your right, we have to deal with hard stuff to grow. thats life. i retired 2 yrs ago. i had a hard job . i had anxiety and depression most of my life. and i liked my job until about 4 yrs ago. i was burnt the fuck out. ( PTSD ) some days it just felt good to ly in my bed and do nothing. Im 63. . I more than anything want contentment, wether its hard or easy. I hear some famous people say how there healed. through, meditation, yoga, mindfulness, journaling, getting up early, finding purpose, love, laughter, etc. etc. I tried it all for 20 yrs. and i have worked since i was 11 yrs old. Im safe physically, but mentally and emotionally, still a mess, still tired, i force my self to exercise, make healthy friends, care for my family. especially my grown daughters. i love them so much. I go to therapy, still trying. But i would give anything to just be content and live out my life. i think i have enough $ with savings and pensions. I just dont get, why working this hard has made me miserable ? Happiness is always temporary. but being content deep down inside is what i need. HOW DO I DO THAT? and im single, for a lot of reasons. i dont even want to go there. It would not be fair to her or me.

[peaceispower]

My fav quote by Dr Brené Brown is “resilience is born in the birth canal of adversity.”

[Cowface]

Muscles don’t grow from lifting weights, they grow from recovering from lifting weights. It’s the same with emotions I think; you expose to stress, and take the time to recover and that’s how you get stronger.

Also anti-fragility is not exclusive to humans. Any gardener knows that exposing a plant to the elements will make it stronger, as it repairs the damage done by wind, temperature and water variability, etc. In fact, watering too frequently is bad for plants because letting the roots dry out a bit will force it to put more energy into its deep taproots to pull up water from below. This in turn makes it stronger and helps it develop drought tolerance

[Alex-jslg]

I think it's important to have a reliable, healthy source of comfort in life, but trying to live free from discomfort is what leads to stagnation, escapism, and overreliance on unhealthy coping mechanisms

[RedWolf]

Your perspective cannot be altered unless you’re open to change. Thank you for this.🌸

[Oja]

Looking back on my life my great regret is that I never was willing to leave my comfort zone. Especially when I was in high school and college when trying some thing and failing at it is almost expected. Those formative years have locked me into it now into midlife. There are so many opportunities to do things, people to meet, experiences to have, that I missed because my comfort zone was my armor against the outside world.

[ForNeverAfter]

Comfort is a nice stopping off point to gather yourself and relax before the next hurdle, its a temporary pause that some often stretch out far too far and thats when it becomes a burden.
balance in all things friends and strangers, balance in all things :)

[KrayaFcknRiver]

I’m working on my obsession fear of abandonment attachments and this is so hard waiting for other people to respond without asking them if they hate me 😅

[shortstuffs]

My family framed their toxicity as being for my own good and it felt so much more insidious and damaging. They minimized my struggles with depression, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, and being stuck in survival mode when that was the environment they created for me. I'm someone who values growth and likes to do well, so their fear of stagnation projected onto me has just caused me to feel burnt out for most of my life. Now I still struggle with my mental health, IBS, chronic muscle tension, and asserting boundaries. It's a good message and good intention that can be horribly twisted, even on accident. I love your videos though, including this one, I just wanted to share how triggering the narrative was for me growing up. Balance really is the key.

[CC-figp]

I can relate to what you are saying, I seem to end up in toxic and abusive relationships, because this is how my child hood was like, and this is all I have known

[charthers]

Being uncomfortable is socially unacceptable - as you get more uncomfortable the people around you will do too, so you also have to deal with being very lonely