How to Read Body Language to Get What You Want | The Mel Robbins Podcast

—

In this episode, you’re going to learn how to decode body language from one of the world’s leading experts on the topic.

If you love True Crime, you’re going to love this episode, because it’s a masterclass from an expert who’s spent over three decades decoding body language for law enforcement agencies around the country.

She will teach you which hand gestures indicate that somebody may be lying, why you should grab your chin during a high-level meeting, why you should never shrug your shoulders if you want to be convincing, and the million dollar question that you should ask at the end of every single interview.

If you’re dating, you’ll learn all kinds of incredible tactics, like why you should never sit directly across from someone on a first date.

This is an incredibly interesting, entertaining, and surprising take on how to build confidence and be smarter about the subconscious signals that other people are sending you all day long.

Xo Mel

In this episode, you'll learn:
00:00 Intro
03:40 Janine’s early childhood trauma saved her life as a teen.
11:16 Which three groups of people can read body language really well?
12:30 Listen for the word “left” when you hear it from someone else.
19:45 What’s your behavioral fingerprint? Here’s how to figure it out.
20:12 What is the best question to ask at the end of an interview?
22:35 How men state what they need versus how women do.
32:43 The power of eye contact unpacked.
36:18 Do this to get your kids to tell you the truth.
38:37 Here’s how detail-oriented people drink their water.
43:10 What if you don’t FEEL confident when you use these “non-verbals?”
51:52 Use this hack to look more confident.
55:07 Know the difference between Clark Kent and Superman, and you’re all set.
1:02:58 Why belly buttons matter more than the eyes when reading someone.
1:05:27 This is the BEST dating advice I’ve heard in a long time.
1:06:24 Nervous on a date or an interview? This hack releases nervous energy.
1:17:35 The importance of “good to knows”

#truecrime #bodylanguage
—

—
—
Follow me here:
—
—
Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are!

[Peacetothepeople]

Someone tried to take me when I was 17, and I ran into a trailer park and hid under the skirt of a trailer as I watched him driving his car slowly around the park, looking for me for two hours. I stayed under the trailer for 5 hours before I dared to come out when I ran home through backyards, avoiding the roads. No one believed me when I told the adults around me because we lived in a small town and had never had that experience. This was in the early 1970s, and I still don't have relationships with my family because they didn't believe in me when I was terrified. On the other hand, that experience gave me the gift of the site, the best gift anyone could ask for.

[emilywhite]

I feel like I need to watch this every day for about a month. This was such a beautiful, inspiring interview that touched on so much more than just body language. Janine is my new favorite person! She is so insightful and caring that she brought me to tears. ❤

[debbejensen]

Take aways: 1) Good to know…. 2) Steepling… 3) Elbow pop…
Thank you Mel!! I’m learning so many great techniques and tools from you!!! The 5 second rule, high giving myself, sooo much more!
You’re fabulous!! By the way, I’m 71 and I am having a new life adventure because of you!!❤

[standforgreatness]

What stuck out for me (or maybe what I needed to hear most) was the story about the bees and the flies. I've been dancing in and out of a relationship for 10 years with a fly constantly hoping that he would become a bee. While we have enjoyed some wonderful times together doing things out in the world, our inner world has been really impacted by my bee-ness trying to survive his fly-ness. It has been draining. When she said that bees don't try to convince flies to like honey, it landed over here like a big AHA! That's what I've been trying to do. I come from a family of flies so no surprise 1. that i chose a fly and 2. that I made up/hoped that I had been switched at birth well into my 30's. lol I am strong, powerful, insightful, generous, giving adn a stand for all people to live their greatness. Those are the seeds I'm planting. Thanks, Mel. Thanks, Janine. Thanks, HP./Universe/Spirit. This was just what I needed to hear today.

[anappsouto]

Great episode! Yesterday I implemented one of tricks with my 5 year old!! She was agitated during our sleep routine and bothering my other kid. I told her that I know she is respectful and a good person, that her teachers always say that about her, she agreed and so I told her that because of that she was going respect our sleep routine. It worked!!!! Thank you Janine and Mel!

[celegleeson]

My biggest take aways are.. first that I have been in in company of two truly great women and I feel honoured. There is hope for me to get better at communicating. Beauty is gracious and kind and wanting the best for people. After all that I need to listen several times so I retain as much as I can. Thank you so much.

[lorrenab-beat]

In the world today, Janine's empathy along with yours, Mel, truly is a superpower.

[LaurenTuong]

Thank you both for this amazing conversation. I've learned so much and here are some of the takeaways I wanna share: 10:23 You plant pumpkin seeds, what does it grow? Pumpkins. You plant tomato seeds, what does it grow? Tomatoes. People get what they grow, they get what they plant. 13:30 We're not teaching emotional intelligence at schools sadly. Signs for stress/lying through pacifying gestures: rubbing eyes, touching necks, thighs, lips, ... Emotional intelligence includes self-awareness, social awareness, self-adaptation, and motivating others 21:40 Shoulder shrug = uncertainty. The root of the tree: what do you believe? Trunk: body language (comes 5 sec before thoughts). Branches: thoughts. Leaves: words. This means you have a 5-second advantage to know how they feel before their brain knows how they feel. Your words plant the next seed, it create what's coming next 25:25 When you don't like what you see, your lips disappear.

[trishroelofs]

This was your best yet, Mel. Thank you for having Janine on & thanks to Janine for sharing such powerful information with us all.

[Teal_Seal]

I think this helps explain “gut feelings”. We subconsciously register the truth but can’t explain why or how.

[sarahsmith]

I loved this interview! I listened to 3/4 of it on the podcast but then rewatched it all on YouTube.
I really loved the Tony Stark posture analogy. I can teach this to my kids. As well as rephrasing “you’re addicted to computer games!” The “Good to Know” was great too!!!
I recently cut someone out of my life. If it wasn’t all about her she’d just look away & get distant. She was warm (not hot) & would gradually get cold in her treatment of me. Something I learned recently was that “Ego has to be the best & worst at everything” - this was her. She would only talk to me if no one else she knew better was around - literally walk off & talk to her best friend when they turned up. But the final straw was when I was going thru a really stressful time; it involved an incident at school where my 6yo daughter was hiding behind a tree whilst sticks & stones were being thrown at her & when I would talk about it, she would look away whilst I was talking & it felt like she was rolling her eyes & thinking “oh god, her she goes again!” So now I avoid her, unfriended on facebook. I am no longer the “benchwarmer” in her life but I am civilised & have said hello when I see her & I keep walking.

[katenicks]

Mel, there isn't a day that I don't listen to you. I am a survivor of severe domestic violence, addiction/ and many more obstacles. I listen to you so I can learn all the tools I need to make it through day by day and continue to make right choices. Your podcast is a gift, I wish you knew how much of a gift you and all yours have been and continue to be everyday. I heard a saying one time, "Every sinner has a future and every Saint has a past". Thank you Mel so much. Kati

[Gabsss]

Mel, thanks for sharing this! Never heard of Janine Driver until today and I’m blown away with the amount of information she shared with us. When folks tell me they don’t like me bc I’m too much, I’ll be sure to respond with “that’s good to know!”

[OurqJourney]

What I learned… I saw Janine‘s Ted talk yesterday and I was impressed by how flawless and confident and professional Janine is. I happened to find this interview today. What I loved from this interview was the stinking thinking, and how it can happen to all of us. This was eye-opening. Thank you.

[moniquematthews]

I have a short attention span and typically don't watch long videos all the way through and contemplating stopping and finishing later. Buuuut...I found myself smiling throughout and enjoyed every minute. First time here Mel and you are great..You gained a new follower!

[kellyname]

That head patting or flipping hair..I have not done that in forever. In my 20's yes but not in many decades. I have mastered being very still, taking my time..lots of time to answer questions.(it is strategic to maintain control of the conversation). Works every time! Why...just why can't people be honest? I'm a straight shooter.. folks kinda don't like that.

[carolinetiller]

I COULD NOT stop listening to this very insightful and mind blowing interview.. THANK YOU. I am a new subscriber and happened upon this video. There are so many things I still need to learn in life. These are all gems. thank you both. Also. on one of the last statements Mel made.. I break eye contact and I agree it is def due to my ADHD. I don't do it intentionally either. Oddly enough, I am also a sales analyst which forces me/my mind to be detail oriented. All of this was fascinating. Loved the chin grab and the good to know!

[astorytoldhere]

This episode was 🔥Mindblown. The combo of you 2 powerhouses was atomic. More please. And thank you for paving the way for my come-back.❤

[lucillekenney]

OMG, I loved this. Thank you both! What I loved most? 1) Steepling: I lose my trend of thought when I try to talk over someone who is interrupting me and continue to talk while trying to finish a point. Then it feels like arguing and I feel foolish. Steepling will work for me; I can't wait to try it. 2) Good to know. Criticism can be constructive and that's when it really is good to know. When it's a put-down the 'good to know' response waves them away without the hand gesture. For the record, I've never waved anyone away. I'm more like the deer in the headlight. NO MORE! 3) The Story Behind the Story. Our experiences shape who we become. No, it doesn't justify but it does explain. The story behind the story taps into our compassionate or empathetic side. 4&5) Thirty Percent Off Center and 5) Right Eye to Right Eye will be useful in interviews.
Mel, I was in such a bad funk since ruminating over a betrayal that became painfully obvious at a Christmas party and then getting sick with COVID, I couldn't shake it. I started doing the high-five in the mirror a couple of weeks ago and the shift was instantaneous. And the end of this video brought me to tears. Happy tears. Thank you. I love you too.

[JMeg-gjzi]

Holy Moly. She is overwhelming.. Fast talker. Too much info to process. So smart. Gotta get her book. Gotta get the Quinn book. Grazie, Mel