How You Could Ruin Someone's Day or Life

Few of us consider ourselves capable of hurting others. But everyone has the capacity to cause profound psychological damage - and we should keep this fact in mind when dealing with our fellow humans.

FURTHER READING

"A lot of evil is done in the world by people who can’t imagine that they have any power to hurt anyone. It’s their sense that nothing is at stake in their behaviour towards others that leads them to ignore the rules of politeness and humanity – and to kick people as if they were plated in armour. They are – in this respect – paying homage to childhood. Think of the situation of a young child, of perhaps six, who has fun mocking a parent’s double chin or the wrinkles around their eyes. To this child, the parent is still, in many ways, an invulnerable deity. They live in a remote, impressive world of work, credit cards, driving and the news. How could someone of such stature be hurt by a comment about their less than perfect physique by a tiny person who can’t spell properly?... "

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Natalia biegaj

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[errrrm]

Kindness starts from the point of understanding that everyone struggles.

[KatAmarie]

I’ve been doing the opposite recently. Whenever I have a positive thought about someone, I instantly tell them. When it’s a real life conversation, the emotion on their faces is priceless. Love that, you should try it over the next few days if you’re reading this comment. ;)

[TheSoundofTanay]

Part of growing up is understanding how your actions have consequences; even if you don't see it.

[anintroductionintheend]

The sad thing is that when a parent says the same kinds of things to a child they tend to hang around in their minds for so much longer and this really can ruin their lives before it even starts.

[Hadi.Najjar]

Fact is we never grow up on the inside. we are still the same child looking love and acceptance no matter how hard our outer shell has become.

[trinaq]

You never know what's going on in someone else's life, and it's possible that while we're the heroes in our own stories, we could be the antagonist in another person's universe.

[erinsuzy]

We have a rule in our house, no name calling or insulting. All because my father (now papaw) was and is verbally abusive. Even though I never recovered my self esteem from childhood, the experience at least allowed me to make the changes for the next generation. But it affects people differently.

[sinthiafs]

Minding your words is an exercise of empathy. You never know what the other person have been through in life.

[tamikash]

A lot of adults lack empathy and as such, are emotionally inept to even fathom that their actions, albeit how minute, could possibly hurt someone so bad that it leads to depression or even them taking their own lives.

Be kind always; for we don't ever know what someone else is going through.

[Psychgo]

beautifully written and animated video
-monica

[JasonLuo]

I learned this lesson when I broke up with my High School girlfriend. I would joke or speak too harshly with her and I did not realize how much I was hurting her until one day she brought it up to me while in tears. In that relationship I said a lot of things I regret. I did not realize how much power my words held when I threw them at her. It’s been almost 5 years since we broke up, but to this day I think about my actions and words, and how badly I wish I could have changed them both. The best I can do is work on bettering myself, loving myself rightly; so that when another partner comes into my life, maybe instead of ruining their day, I can help them and love them tenderly, gently, and compassionately. Hope this helps anyone who’s said or received something hurtful to a loved one. It’s not too late to change, and everyone needs a second chance.

[andreapelayo]

Great analysis. It goes both ways as in parent to child. Our voice is connected to the coils of their hearts too.

[mattisglad]

This woman has the clearest voice I've ever heard

[aniket]

Some old wounds would never ever heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.

[jd]

Another good example is a student who mistreats their Teacher. I know as a Teacher a lot of their comments do hurt when they are simply looking for a quick laugh from their classmates. This video put a lot of those feelings in perspective for me. I try not to take it personally but it still hurts.

[circleoflife]

Mostly people treat others like how they were treated by their parents during childhood or how their parents treat other people around. Selfish callous people procreate for their own needs and self indulgence. Some of such children carry on their parents’ practice. Healthy parenting class is the most important class that most parents don’t have.

[st-christian]

My father died yesterday due to heart failure. He was sick the whole month but I wasn't able to show him kindness or even talk to him even when we live under the same roof because of my resentment. I am one of the reason he is no longer here in this world. He would've kept fighting if he knew we were on his side. But in the end, he was alone even though he was living with us. And now our family will never be complete this coming Christmas.

I wish I have forgiven my father a lot sooner. Sorry, Pa.

[dennisf.]

That makes me feel super anxious. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore, cause I don't want to ruin their life accidentally.

[Viroquan]

I’ve had my life ruined by callous people (bosses) who hired the student intern to replace me, leaving me a single mother with a mortgage in a town with zero opportunities for other, living wage employment (other than the one they gave to the intern, ) with no concern about how I would struggle to just survive.
I can’t feel concern for the people who have demonstrated that they consider me nothing more than a piece of surplus disposable human capital, nor see how it is would serve humanity in any way.
I’m sad that so many people operate in our society in such a way, but as they do, it’s hard to believe people in power care one tiny bit whether I live or die, much less feel empathy towards their feelings.

[keithcrane]

I was verbally and psychological abused by my parent. I'm not sure I'll ever get over my Childhood.