Were They Thinking of Me?

Today, I’ll be sharing with you some compelling truth about why men and women cheat. I need to warn you and put a bit of a disclaimer on this one: the ideas and insight shared in this week’s article are hard-hitting and get to the core of why affairs happen and why they can be so addicting. My team and I have made sure to do all we can to soften the blow, if you will. As you read Tim and Carol’s story, I hope and pray it provides clarity, insight into the mind of the unfaithful spouse, and wisdom for how to move forward.

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HEAL with Affair Recovery:

[jayadams]

This is really painful to hear but sounds logical to me. Infidelity is the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me. 😥

[jimbono]

I hate being in this situation. It’s such a horrible feeling.

[jensbornagain]

This video broke my soul. Been married for 31 years and I never put myself in a position to cheat but he did many times. I always said if you can’t tell your spouse what your doing you shouldn’t be doing it. If you need to escape so badly why not just leave if your that miserable why do you have to rip someone in pieces. I wished he would have just left I would have been on my way long ago this pain is at times unbearable.

[UnAnonKnown]

If the unfaithful wants so badly to escape, why do they ask the betrayed to stay? And why should the betrayed want to stay with someone who wants so badly to escape them?

[cewilliamsable]

She thought of me just enough to lie, then after that... nothing.

[tammysnide]

To think that a marriage can ever be the same is a delusion to the highest. I'm 3 years out and the pain is still so real and the thoughts are torture. I had decided today that I want out and this is not a way to live. I will heal but not looking at the person who inflicted this pain on me. Good luck to everyone but I am done with the whys, the cries and the excuses of it all.

[jet]

What puzzels me is that: if his affair doesn’t have to do about me, but is about my spouse escaping his real world, escaping his real world is also escaping from me .... so how can I understand that part?

[david-yjuv]

I am the betrayed spouse. 22 months since D-day, I’m still working on the “why” and wallow in blaming myself for her infidelity.

[ibrudejude]

No way was he thinking about me.. He left me when I was battling a severe bipolar depression... He is a narcissistic man.. Definitely she was happy to accommodate his needs.

[tracygraham]

This video amazingly came out exactly on the day I needed it! I had just asked my spouse yesterday this exact question. What pisses me off is sure, he had an affair to escape our financial situation and his loss of self esteem, but that left me holding the bag and dealing with everything while he went out and got his needs met. I’m trying really hard to understand. I so love and appreciate this video!

[perception-reception]

I really question why i am trying to make this work everyday. She tells me she hates the affair partner because he took advantage of her during a weak time in her life. That is such BS from what all I have learned she must have feeling for him and the lies continue with that. I just always feel another bomb will be dropped on me and i keep myself at a distance emotionally as a result and i don't know how this will ever get better if she is never truthful. We are 6 months from D day

[Farm]

He absolutely was not thinking of me and made that clear to me. The thinking of his addiction while with me is hard to take. It makes me feel so small.

[bigananikagiso]

It really took me 3weeks to fully listen to this video. It's so painful to watch but it really gives a great outlook

[rocki__maa]

Not thought of during after first or last 🤦🏻‍♀️ how comforting. Why the affair partners tend to have it better and women now days prefer to be side chicks 🤦🏻‍♀️ 😢

[eachoneteachone]

So why was he treating me like crap the whole time during the time of infidelity? Or why after he claimed he did only one time... he still kept conversations and meeting up?

[mmm]

This was one of the most impactful presentations in this series, but was off a bit. After my wife cheated, I WAS thinking of her when I strayed. It was vengeful. Do I feel better? No. I'll never feel good again. That's life.

[ukmaverick]

Super accurate. As painful as it is to be real with yourself, this is very helpful to give hope in healing. Thank you.

[gemmacantrell]

Great insight. Thank you for all these videos. But what hurts even more is knowing that the unfaithful is choosing the affair partner over you. He chose her, and left me standing in a world of pain. He wanted to start a new life with her. But the OW ( co-worker) chose to end the affair because she couldn't deal that I wouldn't leave. Now that some time has passed I now question my love for my unfaithful spouse.

[larrylarr]

Well, my ex wife decided to leave me for the affair partner after she got caught in her 3 year affair…..so to answer the question, no she was not thinking about me.

[thomaspugh]

Great video to help understand the unfaithful warped logic. Unfortunately my ex wife denied saying the AP was just a friend and it's all a misunderstanding. Even when I confronted him and he admitted the affair she still denied saying he just jokes around like that. I honestly don't know what's worse....the affair or the ridiculous lies. She didn't want to stop talking to him and in combination with the lies I wanted a divorce several months later. She got engaged and married to him shortly after. The only time I saw her cry was when I told her I wanted a divorce. I never saw guilt or remorse or even an admittance of the affair. I never understood why or how someone could do that to someone else, but this video hits the nail on the head....warped logic, shame and then being broken inside. It took me nearly 3 years of counseling to understand this wasn't my fault and that it had nothing to do with me. Once you can internalize and accept that, then the process of forgiveness can begin. I harbored anger for so long, but forgiveness was freeing in so many ways. It's for you more than them. She may never know I have forgiven her (and him), but I hope they can forgive themselves and get the help they need to be whole.